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Forgive me if this post isn’t funny.

I swear, it isn’t my fault. I’ve been trying to shed a couple pounds before being squeezing myself into cocktail dress after cocktail dress (for wedding season is among us) and the first casualty of my reduced caloric intake in my sense of humor. There’s a joke here, something about how that’s why all the girls on Friends were both skinny and unfunny, but I can’t pull it together. If I had a donut, I probably could.

Also, did you notice that Jennifer Aniston makes really bad movie choices? It’s like she’s trying to fail.

Did I mention I’m phoning it in today, too? I’m phoning it in today. Forgive me. Tonight I will eat two pints of gelato, ensuring that tomorrow’s post will be riotous, and also that I won’t fit into anything I own. This is the sacrifice I am willing to make for my blog.

For today, you’ll have to settle for 10 photos from our last trip to Portland (and surrounding wine country).

1. Clyde Common Restaurant, Portland.

They serve popcorn. POPCORN. At a restaurant. Never have I heard of anything so magical.

They serve popcorn. POPCORN. At a restaurant. Never have I heard of anything so magical.

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2.  Portland at sunset (this time of year, that’s like, 10 pm)

You can tell from this pic, but counter-culture flows through these streets.

You can't tell from this pic, but counter-culture flows through these streets.

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3. Contemplative Rand.

Being 31 is serious stuff, I suppose.

Being 31 is serious stuff, I suppose.

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4. “Bunny’s For Sale” Sign

I dont know which of its possessions that bunny is selling, but I want it.

I don't know which of its possessions that bunny is selling, but I want it.

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5. Lesbian, Gay, and Heterosexual Cake Toppers, Portland

I thought this was rather sweet.

I thought this was rather sweet.

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6. Winery vineyard, Newberg, OR.

Screw you, Napa!

Screw you, Napa!

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7. Coupled lawn chairs, Newberg, OR

There was a cute old couple in these chairs, but I kicked their asses out for a better shot. (Im kidding. I think one of them died, so they left.)

There was a cute old couple in these chairs, but I kicked their asses out for a better shot. (I'm kidding. I think one of them died, so they left.)

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8. Frisbee Golf, Oregon Wine Country

Frisbee Golf at a friggin winery. Im going to try and sell this image to Stuff White People Like.

Frisbee Golf at a friggin winery. I'm going to try and sell this image to "Stuff White People Like."

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9. Newberg Safeway end-cap, Newberg, OR.

Holy crap, thats cheap. We should get some. - Rand

"Holy crap, that's cheap. We should get some." - Rand

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10. Giant Mutant Blueberry, Portland, OR

Notice how I look elated and Rand looks like hed rather be anywhere else.

Notice how I look elated and Rand looks like he'd rather be anywhere else.

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Full list of categories:  Photos » Top Ten
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Comments (10)

  1. 28. Jul, 2010 / Dr. Pete:

    You read that sign wrong. It’s meant to say:

    “Bunny’s Fishing Open for Lead Sale”

    You missed a great opportunity to get discount lead, in case, you know, there’s something you want to encase so that Superman can’t see it.

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  2. 28. Jul, 2010 / The GastroGnome:

    OMG, I totally know exactly where the Bunny’s for Sale sign is! That is right by where our puppy, Roger, is from. Brett told me I was not allowed to a) bring bunnies home on our puppy’s first car ride or b) buy bunnies from an unsuspecting child (or, judging from the sign, possibly child-like adult) in order to take them home and make tasty bunny stew from them.

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  3. 28. Jul, 2010 / Ryan Aldred:

    I like the “Bunny’s for sale” sign. It reminds me of a similar sign in Costa Rica that read “Kittens for rent”. It was a shame that the ‘store’ was closed, as I was really curious about how much it would cost to rent a kitten for a few hours. Sadly, I did not have my camera at the time to record this sign for the sake of future generations.

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  4. 28. Jul, 2010 / philip:

    Buried lede alert! Photo 9: Chocolate Cheerios! Why have I not had these yet?

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  5. 28. Jul, 2010 / Carbzilla:

    I hope the bunny’s not selling those rabbit foot keychains.

    That’s a very similar view from my mom’s old house in Newberg. Great spot!

    Funny, I have a whole collection of photos where I look elated, and Chris looks like he wants to Star Trek beam right outta there.

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  6. 28. Jul, 2010 / Trisha:

    Awesome photos, but I like the Bunny’s for sale sign the best too, maybe because my mother-in-law’s name is Bunny.

    Philip: Chocolate Cheerios are the most awesomest invention on the planet. Rectify your situation as soon as possible.

    GastroGnome: I’ve had bunny stew and it’s truly awesome, but I don’t recommend making it from scratch. It’s just nigh impossible to kill a cute li’l bunny for the sake of a stew. I tried. We wound up keeping that bunny for many years, named it hasenpfeffer, and every time he chewed up something he wasn’t supposed to, we told him to behave or we’d make stew out of him, but he just wriggled his nose at us, and hopped away to chew up something else.

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  7. 28. Jul, 2010 / Everywhereist:

    Philip – this isn’t the first time chocolate Cheerios have made an appearance on the blog: http://www.everywhereist.com/random-pictures-from-our-san-diego-trip/

    You could have been eating them this WHOLE time.

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  8. 28. Jul, 2010 / Everywhereist:

    Carbzilla – Why, oh why are the gentleman in our lives so humorless? Let’s take photos together from now on. :)

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  9. 28. Jul, 2010 / Mugdha:

    I’m pretty positive that numbers 7, 8, and 9 are clear evidence that your humor isn’t gone. Unless, of course, you had that donut after number 6! :O

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  10. 30. Jul, 2010 / philip:

    Damn you, chocolate cheerios!

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