I have never really liked Las Vegas.
That statement may sound like blasphemy to some of you. And it’s almost a surprise to me, too. After all, Vegas is an entire town built around the Seven Deadly Sins – and you guys know how much I love those. I try to incorporate at least four of them into every single day (fact: I have eaten 3 desserts in the last 12 hours). But despite this, Vegas never managed to strike a chord with me.
I’m not a gambler, for one. I hardly drink. And for women in Vegas, the dress code seems to be as follows:
- Velour track suit with some sort of word emblazoned across the posterior, revealing clues as to the wearer’s inner psyche: “JUICY” is what I most often see, but “PHAT” or “PINK” or “SLUTTY” or “I MISS MY ESTRANGED FATHER” also seem to be popular choices.
- Black cocktail dresses which may in fact simply be orthopedic support hose worn around the body.
Friends, I spend my days eating cupcakes. I do not need pants which are designed to draw attention to my already-more-than-ample butt. And my proportions are such that I do not look good in teeny tiny cocktail dresses. Have you even seen a sausage heated until it’s about to burst from its casing? It’s kind of like that.
Let us not even speak of shorts. I own two pairs, reserved for days on which I want to torture myself.
Nor am I a fan of the dichotomy that Vegas creates, simultaneously appealing to lowest common denominator (“LOOK! GINORMOUS MARGARITAS YOU CAN DRINK THROUGH A BENDY STRAW!”) while at the same time cultivating an air of exclusivity (Rand and I tried to get a bite to eat inside the Bellagio without a reservation. Do not attempt this, ever).
And yet, even in the face of my own long-standing (and Rand’s even longer-standing) disdain for Vegas, holy crap, did we have fun on our last visit.
Credit goes exclusively to Gray Cargill of SoloFriendly. I emailed Gray right before our trip, and she gave me a heap of suggestions – the first four of which were tips on where I could get decent desserts (I couldn’t love her more for that).
I promise to share of Gray’s advice in painfully exhausting detail, and the adventures that ensued. But right now, I’m at the tail end of another trip, and a wee bit too knackered to do a full write-up, so I hope these photos from our trip to Vegas will tide you over until I get around to it.
- Hazy sky on the flight in.
- Spicy chili pork dip with veggies, Lotus of Siam restaurant.
- Deconstructed signs, the Neon Boneyard.
- Hanging out at the Mob Museum, downtown Las Vegas.
- Ginormous bees, the Bellagio Conservatory.–
- HOLY-CRAP-IT’S-A-CHOCOLATE-FOUNTAIN, Jean-Phillippe Pastisserie.–
- New York in miniature.
- Street art, downtown Las Vegas.
- A breakfast waffle which, in hindsight, seems like it should have killed us.
- Obligatory making out photo, the Bellagio.