Archive | August, 2009

A few months ago, we flew back from Boston (and boy were our arms tired! No … seriously. My bag was kinda heavy). During the flight, I noticed the woman in the window seat across the aisle from us looking frantically for something after the crew had come to pick up trash. She was upset, picking things up and looking around. At this point, I hadn’t realized what she had lost, but she enlisted the crew in helping her, who starting going through piles and piles of trash, looking for her lost item. (more…)

Just zip it.


  1. That’s da bomb!
  2. Got any coke?
  3. We’re really high!
  4. Who do I have to hijack to get a drink in this place?
  5. Whoops! Wonder how that got by T.S.A.
  6. Wait a second … a concealed weapons permit still counts on a plane, right?
  7. Dude, you totally look like that guy from “Lost”!
  8. Sure, they check the liquids … but gunpowder isn’t a liquid. It’s a powder.
  9. Hypothetical question: how can you tell if the heroin-filled condom you swallowed broke?
  10. I am going to kill us all in the name of Satan.

Photo by via

Part of me thinks this is a no-brainer, but nevertheless, let’s chat about it, shall we? Some friends gave us a Liberty Helicopter tour gift certificate as a wedding gift. We’re heading to New York in Early October, and I was thinking about using it, until I heard about last weekend’s horrific crash.

Notice the sightseeing tour ship in the background? Passing right by the boats hauling up wreckage? That's bad.

Notice the sightseeing tour ship in the background? Passing right buy the boat hauling up the wreckage? That's a new level of bad.

So now I’m not really sure what to do. Rand noted that it’s probably incredibly safe, statistically speaking, to go on a helicopter tour right now. Which is not exactly how I see it. What are your thoughts?


Please keep in mind, your answers will in no way impact my decision.

It took me like 2 hours to make this graphic. Im such a lamewad.

It took me like 2 hours to make this graphic. I'm such a lamewad.

There may be something wrong with me. I’ve accepted this (and if you’re still reading my blog, you should have, too, by now). I just went through every lip balm I own, analyzing, scrutinizing, and testing them. Fortunately, my neurosis is your gain! Here are my suggestions/cautionary tales for balms, whether you have a have long dry flight ahead of you, or plans to kiss Valentino by a crystal blue Italian stream. (more…)

In travel news this week …

The New York Times reported that most of us hate booking travel, and the web hasn’t really made the process any easier. While the internet has given us a wealth of fantastic content, including dancing Martin Van Buren and entire sites dedicated to the acting prowess of Dale Midkiff, it’s still really effing hard to reserve a flight. Kudos to Jet Blue, Southwest, and Alaska Airlines for making the process suck a little less hard.

Also, never, ever travel to North Korea. Not even for 30 seconds. Seriously – that’s like on the top of my list of travel advice, along with take a sweater and never leave anything the trunk. But if you do happen to find yourself accidentally on the wrong side of Kim Jong Il’s fence, and sentenced to 12 years hard labor (incidentally, WTF? 12 years hard labor? Is it the 1700s?), remember this: If you have a problem, if no one else can help, and if you can find him, maybe you can hire … Former President Bill Clinton

He kind of is Face.
He kind of is Face.


Not very long ago, my husband and I went to Chicago. It was at Oprah’s request, though we can’t really talk about it. Truth be told, we were iffy about going, and in the end, it came down to one question: Will we have time to go to the Chicago Art Musuem and see A Sunday Afternoon on the Island of La Grande Jatte? And they said yes. And so we went. (more…)

I saw this bag once and when I asked the hubby if I could have one, he emphatically said, “Jesus Christ … NO.” He clearly has no sense of humor.

photo courtesy of

photo courtesy of



Dear Everywhereist,

How did you decide that “Everywhereist” should be spelled “Everywhereist” and not “Everywherist”? Are you ever worried that people with Germanic tendencies will pronounce it “Everywhere-iced”?

Also, what is the appropriate formula for computing how many pairs of shoes one should pack, given the length (in days) of one’s trip? If the desired number of shoes would force you to use a larger suitcase than you would otherwise require, should you pack them all anyway, or limit yourself to only as many as fit into the smaller suitcase?

-Footloose in Fargo