A Night in San Francisco (A Play in Two Acts)
The Scene:
San Francisco, on a chilly night.
The Characters:
Geraldine, who is totally awesome.
Rand, who is usually awesome but last night left his dirty laundry in a pile on the bedroom floor, which is so not cool.
Act I:
Geraldine and Rand are walking down a street in San Francisco. It is windy, and they are clutching their coats. They pass an old building with an elaborate entryway. Suddenly, Geraldine starts screaming.
Geraldine: AUUUUGGGHHHHHH!
Rand: GAH! Woman, what is wrong with you?
Geraldine: (still screaming) TAKE A PICTURE! TAKE A PICTURE! TAKE A PICTURE!
Rand: WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?
Geraldine: (struggling to regain composure) I need you to take a picture of me. In that alcove. Immediately.
Rand: Okaaaay …
Geraldine climbs into a recessed alcove in the entryway of the building. Rand snaps a few photos.
They continue their walk. Geraldine asks to see the picture.
Geraldine: Gah! You didn’t get my shoes.
Rand: Was I supposed to?
Geraldine: YES, you were supposed to get my shoes.
Rand: Sometimes, I really wish you made sense.
They walk off into the night, and evidently Geraldine forgives Rand, because at some point this happened:
Not sure what's going on here. Rand was either adjusting my hat, or looking for head lice.
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Act II:
Later on …
Rand: Why were you so insistent on getting that photo, anyway?
Geraldine: Because of this …
Rand: Holy crap.
Geraldine: Yeah.
Rand: When was that?
Geraldine: 2005. Just a few days before I turned 25.
Rand: Wow …
There is a pause. And then …
Geraldine: My fashion sense has improved substantially over the years, huh?
Rand: Yup.
–
The End
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(Psst! Here’s the side-by-side of the two pictures. I spent waaay too long trying to figure out if my thighs have gotten fatter over the last six years.
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They have. I regret nothing.)
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