10 Photos of Las Vegas: the Neon Boneyard, Chocolate Fountains, and Giant Bees.

Posted on
Jun 20, 2012

I have never really liked Las Vegas.

That statement may sound like blasphemy to some of you. And it’s almost a surprise to me, too. After all, Vegas is an entire town built around the Seven Deadly Sins – and you guys know how much I love those. I try to incorporate at least four of them into every single day (fact: I have eaten 3 desserts in the last 12 hours). But despite this, Vegas never managed to strike a chord with me.

I’m not a gambler, for one. I hardly drink. And for women in Vegas, the dress code seems to be as follows:

  • Velour track suit with some sort of word emblazoned across the posterior, revealing clues as to the wearer’s inner psyche: “JUICY” is what I most often see, but “PHAT” or “PINK” or “SLUTTY” or “I MISS MY ESTRANGED FATHER” also seem to be popular choices.
    – 
  • Black cocktail dresses which may in fact simply be orthopedic support hose worn around the body.
    – 
  • Shorts.

Friends, I spend my days eating cupcakes. I do not need pants which are designed to draw attention to my already-more-than-ample butt. And my proportions are such that I do not look good in teeny tiny cocktail dresses. Have you even seen a sausage heated until it’s about to burst from its casing? It’s kind of like that.

Let us not even speak of shorts. I own two pairs, reserved for days on which I want to torture myself.

Nor am I a fan of the dichotomy that Vegas creates, simultaneously appealing to lowest common denominator (“LOOK! GINORMOUS MARGARITAS YOU CAN DRINK THROUGH A BENDY STRAW!”) while at the same time cultivating an air of exclusivity (Rand and I tried to get a bite to eat inside the Bellagio without a reservation. Do not attempt this, ever).

And yet, even in the face of my own long-standing (and Rand’s even longer-standing) disdain for Vegas, holy crap, did we have fun on our last visit.

Credit goes exclusively to Gray Cargill of SoloFriendly. I emailed Gray right before our trip, and she gave me a heap of suggestions – the first four of which were tips on where I could get decent desserts (I couldn’t love her more for that).

I promise to share of Gray’s advice in painfully exhausting detail, and the adventures that ensued. But right now, I’m at the tail end of another trip, and a wee bit too knackered to do a full write-up, so I hope these photos from our trip to Vegas will tide you over until I get around to it.

  1. Hazy sky on the flight in.
  2.  Spicy chili pork dip with veggies, Lotus of Siam restaurant.
  3. Deconstructed signs, the Neon Boneyard.

    All the king’s horses and all the king’s men …

  4. Hanging out at the Mob Museum, downtown Las Vegas.

    Where Rand and I are found guilty of dorkery in the first degree.

  5. Ginormous bees, the Bellagio Conservatory.
  6. HOLY-CRAP-IT’S-A-CHOCOLATE-FOUNTAIN, Jean-Phillippe Pastisserie.
  7. New York in miniature.
  8. Street art, downtown Las Vegas.

  9. A breakfast waffle which, in hindsight, seems like it should have killed us.

    Yes, there’s tons of nutella and whipped cream, but there’s also bananas, so, you know … it’s HEALTHY.

  10. Obligatory making out photo, the Bellagio.

    Vegas, baby.

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