Bappity Boopy, and the art of fake languages.

Posted on
Sep 28, 2009

I can’t quite remember when it started. It might have been when I first saw La Revista Di La Television con Vinny Vedici. It’s a SNL sketch where Bill Heder plays an Italian talk show host..  When I first saw it, my jaw dropped. Rand asked if it was real Italian.

“No … it’s jibberish.”

“Seriously? It sounds just like your family.”

I wasn’t really sure how to react (and it looks like Italians themselves have mixed views on the issue). I mean, despite being totally weird and offensive, it was kind of hysterical and not entirely inaccurate. It did sound like Italian, after all. Fred Armisen, who plays one of Vinny’s crew,  is my favorite – he seems to know a few words in Italian, so he ends up screaming things like, “Turkey! Turkey! There are kisses on the glasses!”

Naturally, I told my cousin Marco about it.

“It’s fake Italian. And they’re always smoking! And eating pasta!”

Cue blank stare. I’m used to things not translating well with my European friends and relatives (I’ve found that while everyone loves The Simpsons, my family and friends across the pond adore Family Guy just as much, if not more. It’s a show I can barely stand). Usually it’s simply a case of one of us “not getting it.” After talking to Marco, though, I ended up feeling more than a little awful and racist. Was Vinny truly unfunny? Had I completely offended him?

Apparently not – just a few weeks ago, Marco showed me this:

About 20 minutes were lost that evening while my husband and cousin and I kept saying, “Bappity boopy!” to one another. Rand threatened to grow a mustache. It was wonderful.

I realized that fake languages aren’t necessarily new to me. When we were kids, I’d torment Marco with what he thought were American insults, but were, in fact, cardinal directions or math equations.

Me (in English): And then I’d make a left, and walk for 25 feet …

Marco (in Italian): I’m not stupid, you know. You’re saying something terrible about me.

And every time we go to Germany, I start mumbling fake German to my husband, who studied the language for a few years. Occasionally, I’ll shout, “FRIED POTATOES WITH THURSDAY!” And he simply pats my head. He is a tolerant man.

While there are clearly areas that are off-limits, perhaps even hypocritically so, (seriously, speak fake Chinese to me, and I will slap you into next week), it seems like perhaps the art of fake languages is something universal. Just a few days ago, we were hanging out with our friend Lisa in Oslo. She told us how she and her friend went around London speaking jibberish Norweigan, and no one noticed.

“I thought, Oh my god, that’s what we sound like to you,” Lisa said, totally mortified.

So we told her about Bappity boopy. We all laughed. And admitted it sounded like Italian. Then Rand spoke fake Norwegian, and inadvertently ended up saying the world for halibut.

And I thought about how Karl Lagerfeld blames the death of the conversation on our attempts to be politically correct.

Because while fake languages are superficially offensive and racist, on a deeper level, they serve to bind us all together. They force us to look at our own languages and realize that, to someone else, it’s gibberish. They make us realize we all have accents, that we’re all difficult to understand sometimes, and that our shared vulnerability is both human and hysterical.

Bappity boopy, indeed.

Leave a Comment

  • OMG it’s not bad enough that I think I’m being dissed in jibberish english, NOW I have to worry about being laughed about in jibberish OTHER languages?!? Sigh.

    My husband speaks fluent jibberish spanish, or so he believes. Whenever we go to our favorite mexican restaurant, he says things like “se habla!” or “mucho bueno” at totally inappropriate moments. I keep telling him to be quiet, but after a few margaritas, he can’t help himself. Sigh.

  • Though my Japanese is mostly crap (a certain 2-1/2-year-old has surpassed me in language comprehension) I have enjoyed using what little I know as a sort of code around Seattle when my wife (whose first language is Japanese) and I are together. Of course, on more than one occasion, we’ve been in Tokyo and I’ve said something mildly rude in Japanese and then had to be reminded that everybody there speaks the language.

    And when we were in London we spoke in terrible “British” accents the whole time.

  • Heather

    You might not see this since this post was so long ago, but I just recently discovered your blog and am reading all of the old posts. Thought you might get a kick out of this video.

More from The Blog

On Instagram @theeverywhereist

  • Take note: if you ask your husband if you can move to NYC roughly four dozen times, he will start to cave a little.
  • Incredible reading by the love of my life to a packed room at NeueHouse Madison Square. So proud of you, @randderuiter, and the amazing emcee work by @michaeliconking.
  • Re-posting this photo that @wilreynolds took of us and his youngest near the beach outside of Lisbon. We're back home now, and I can't decide what I miss more: this little guy and his brother, or Portugal. Actually, scratch that. I know.
  • This place looks like a damn fairy tale.
  • Lunch with a view of the water, and some of the best seafood of my life.
  • The entire drive from Sintra to Lisbon looks like this. It's just miles of blue sky and rocky beaches.
  • No filter. This is just what Sintra looks like.
  • This street artist does amazing collages of animals from hunks of discarded plastic he collects (part of an effort to raise awareness about some of the most vulnerable victims of pollution). They're all over Lisbon, but we managed to get a close up view of this one.
  • Thousand watt smile on the little dude, and I am done.
  • Those eyes though.

All Over The Place

Buy my book and I promise I'll never ask you for anything again.