While we were down in San Francisco last week, we attended a charity event that a friend of ours was hosting. A lot of people in attendance at the event were from Rand’s industry.

I used to be petrified of these sort of social gatherings. Rand usually got swept up in conversation, leaving me in a room full of strangers (the real clincher: many of them knew who I was, and I knew no one. This meant that EVERYONE KNEW WHO THE LOSER STANDING ALONE IN THE CORNER WAS. I couldn’t even hide my social ineptness behind my anonymity). After a while, I realized I had to adapt to survive, and I started chatting people up like a bubbling moron. Someone would ask why I was at the party, and I’d explain my connection to Rand.

“Oh, you’re Mystery Guest!” they’d say, referring to the screen name that Rand had given me on his blog several years ago. I would smile and nod. They’d inevitably be his customers or clients (remember, the party was hosted by a friend of ours, and the guests were all people in the same industry as Rand). We’d chat a bit about his company or the industry as a whole. Run-off of my husband’s internet start-up fame. They’d look shocked when I explained I knew next to nothing about SEO.

But last weekend, at this particular party, something very peculiar happened.

(more…)

Things never turn out quite how you imagine them.

I try to remember this whenever I find myself setting up expectations. Whether it’s a new trip, or an event, or meeting a new person, I’ve always created some sort of script in my head for how things will play out. Often, it’s a recipe for disappointment. The hotel is on a noisier street. The city smells much more urine-y than I had anticipated. The caterer will be late … or possibly drunk. And the people on whom you’ve placed so much pressure to be awesome, may be lovely in their own right, but they can’t match the person you’ve built up in your head.

I reminded myself of this as I went out to meet Deanna, the blogatrix behind Traveling Monkeys. She was popping into Seattle for a few days with her family, and we had arranged to meet. And she had a tall order to fill. Because the Deanna who I had constructed from her tweets and blog entries was fantastic. She was funny and sarcastic and sweet. And, hello? She has a NINJA BABY.

I had our entire afternoon planned out in my head: we’d become fast friends, swapping movie quotes from The Princess Bride and laughing at things that would take too much time to explain to third parties. Maybe she’d ride in on a pegasus (because unicorns are SO overused lately) and she’d have a present for me.

And in reality?

Well, we didn’t quote The Princess Bride.

We quoted Anchorman.

(more…)

-I didn’t realize you could just walk into a drugstore and find them next to the panty shields.

-

-

Taken at Rite-Aid, Portland, OR.

While traveling in Scotland, I saw this ad on a bus, and laughed my ass off for 10 minutes (I still have plenty of ass left. Don’t worry):

They seem to have a preference for one of the actors ...

-

Which, of course, prompted this exchange …

Me: It makes total sense that they’d glorify their own countrymen over American actors. I mean, it’s not like there’s a ton of Scottish stars who make it big in the U.S. There’s Sean Connery, and Pierce Brosnan and -

Rand: Pierce Brosnan’s Irish, not Scottish.

Me: What’s the difference again?

Rand: I’m not talking to you any more.

-

So, since my husband’s not talking to me, I’ll ask you …

A friend of my cousin’s once told me a story about something that happened to him while traveling. He had grown up in Switzerland when he was very young, moving to Italy when he was about 7 or 8. Later, he moved to the U.S., and he currently lives in Florida. Several years ago, he was traveling back to visit some family in Italy, and went through Newark, which is no doubt one of the larger and uglier airports in the U.S. And one that sees a lot of passengers.

While rushing to his gate, he ran smack dab into another traveller. While they stood, sorting things out, they realized that they knew eachother. They had gone to school together.

In Switzerland.

I suppose that sort of thing happens a lot, but it always makes my head spin. That you could bump into someone you know, far from home. I wish I could see all the decisions and occurences that lead up to two people arriving at the same place at the same time. Or see all the near-misses – the times we very nearly see someone, but don’t. It plays out like a movie in my head. I take a second too long picking out a shirt to wear, and enter the grocery store through one door, barely missing a friend who leaves out another one. (more…)

By now you’ve all heard about the volcano that erupted in Iceland, grounding thousands of planes across Europe, costing the airline industry millions of dollars, and dumping a copious quantity of incredibly fine ash across the continent. In other words: it’s made a pretty big name for itself, as far as volcanoes go.

If you have not heard about it, let me be first the welcome you to Earth. I assume you are here to take the Kardashians back to their home planet, and I’m more than okay with that. I never really accepted them as part of our species, anyway.

Also, seriously, how on (insert your planet here) were you able to avoid news coverage on this issue? It’s been covered in absolutely every paper and news outlet I can think of, despite the name of volcano itself being practically unpronounceable. NPR actually provides the correct pronunciation, which is actually worse that trying to spell it. Eyjafjallajokull. And just an FYI: in Icelandic, the double-l is actually pronounced as t-ll. That should clear things up, right?

My infant tongue can make of this name nothing longer or more explicit than Eye-uh-fyall, so we’ll just go with that.

Just last week I was quietly lamenting to my husband that it would be nice to visit Eye-uh-fyall, and our exchange shed some light on just how much of a space cadet I am.

Me: I’d really like to go see that volcano in Iceland.

Rand: Again?

Me: Zuh?

Rand: You know we’ve been there, right?

Me: What the crap-hell are you talking about?

Rand: You remember the hike we went on in Iceland? We saw that glacier that was up on a mountain?

Me: Uh- huh … you mean that was the same place?

Rand: Yup.

-

(more…)

A few weeks ago, we headed to New York for the weekend for a friend’s wedding. Eytan Seidman (of Oyster.com fame) was getting hitched, and we couldn’t miss it. Besides, the wedding was in New Rochelle, NY. And I had never been to New Rochelle. In fact, I’ve never been anywhere outside of Manhattan.

And believe me: we were far, far outside of Manhattan. Sure, it might have been only 20 minutes away, but the Hilton in Rye Brook, where we stayed, could arguably have been on another planet. Or another decade: just stepping inside makes you feel as though you’ve gone through a decorating time warp (Landing you in circa 1963. Seriously, the producers of Mad Men have got to shoot some scenes here).

And just in case that wasn’t enough weird, the hotel was hosting a girls’ dance competition.

Let me tell you: the sight of underage little girls dolled up like prostitutes, set against a backdrop of polyester and unfulfilled dreams is not one I will soon forget. In Eytan’s defense, the hotel we chose was not actually on his list of recommend ones. After all, why listen TO A GUY WHO FRIGGIN FOUNDED A SITE THAT PROVIDES REAL HOTEL REVIEWS? Why listen, when instead you can stay at the Hannah Montana House of Ill-Repute? HUH, RAND?

(more…)

There are many types of people in world. Some, I daresay, are better than others.

They are the sort of folks who run marathons.

That benefit good causes, like the American Cancer Society.

And they do all these wonderful feats on the morning of their wedding.

My friend Rachel is one of these such people.  While we were roaming around New Orleans, she was running a half-marathon (and simultaneously making the world a better place).

On, in case you didn’t catch it the first time I said it, she ran a half-marathon in New Orleans on the morning of her wedding. But I’ll get to that in a moment. (more…)

Okay, New Orleans. You win.

I just might love you.

So much, in fact, that the hubby and I comforted ourselves when something was closed or we didn’t have time to see it, by saying, “Don’t worry. It’s not like we won’t be back.”

We used Rand’s business trip to San Diego as a jumping off point for the NOLA wedding we were heading to (as did, coincidentally, the Gastrognome. The world is a small place). We arrived late in the evening, and booked it off our American Airlines flight, as the gentleman sitting across from us (who proceeded to down 4 Bud Lights each during the flight) were giving me the look  of death. As in, they were trying to pick a fight with one or both of us. It was weird and scary, and I’ve never left a plane faster in my life.

Our cab driver from the airport to the hotel was an interesting little fellow. Speaking with a thick-accent of undetermined origin (it was not anything regional, I’m sure) he noted points-of-interest, the plastic beads hanging from his rear-view mirror swinging as he drove. As we crossed over a causeway, he explained that it was one of the highest roads in the city, and news footage had been shown of people swimming to it for safety.

Holy crap.

(more…)

This travel item isn’t even that superfluous. Actually, I think it’s a bit of a necessity. So I strongly suggest you hop into your car, head to the local Target or Wal-Mart or Costco or whatever, and pick up at least one, or possibly two, food bloggers. They will prove indispensable on your next trip. Just be sure to get the awesome, willing-to-eat-almost-anything variety, and not the stuck-up, won’t-touch-it-if-it-isn’t-certified-organic kind.

What’s that you say? Your local mega-mart doesn’t carry food bloggers in stock? That is indeed a tragedy. I suggest you get online and try to find one that way. And no, you can’t have mine. But I don’t blame you for trying. Because holy crap, is she awesome.

I met the effervescent Gastrognome on New Year’s Eve, at my friend (and fellow blogger) Rachel’s house. When I found out she would be in San Diego for the same conference that Rand was attending, which was en route to Rachel’s wedding in New Orleans, which we were all attending, I was thrilled. We were going to be more than internet friends! Hooray! (more…)