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I am in South Africa. It is nearly 7 in the morning, local time. Rand is breathing softly in the bed, and outside the winds are so strong, they are shaking our hotel room window.

Yesterday, I went on safari. I giggled, and it startled an elephant.

I’m going to say that again, because it might be one of the greatest sentences of my life: I giggled, and IT STARTLED AN ELEPHANT.

There is a lot going on this week. We’re going to hike and kayak and explore and haggle and shop and eat candy bars that aren’t available in the states. But, sadly, there will not be a lot of blogging going on while I’m here (there will be a few Milwaukee posts going up sporadically, when I have a few moments and an internet connection).

I’m sorry. BUT THERE ARE PENGUINS. I can’t sit in front of my laptop while there are penguins walking around.

I promise, I’ll tell you all about it when I get home. If you can’t wait that long for a fix, I will kindly direct you to the archives. There are three years of posts to meander through, if you haven’t already done so (but be warned: it takes me a few months of blogging before I hit my stride).

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m off to go hug a penguin. Not sure if that’s allowed, or what. But I’m gonna do it.

See you next week.

 

Why am I so obsessed with cake? BECAUSE CAKE.

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FAQ pages have always bothered me. They seem kind of lazy. Like, if someone goes through the trouble of sending you an email and asking you a question, the least you could do would be to answer them in kind, right?

That was before I started getting emails.

Holy cats. I can’t actually believe it, but after reading the unhinged and potentially litigious drivel on this site, people want to know more. They ask questions. Some of those questions are asked frequently.

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I am truly excited to have the new site design up (it was created by the lovely and talented Kimberly Coles, who I highly recommend). There are currently a few bugs in the system that we are working through (a result of my dev team integrating WordPress with Kimberly’s design, which is a complicated process. Plus, since my dev team is in eastern Europe, we’ve been working around the time-change, to boot). So for a few days, things might look a little weird. I can assure you I’m acutely aware of the problems, and we’re working to fix it.

And the second things get normal, I will post some new entries.

In the meantime, here’s another cute bunny photo to tide you over.

He's so adorable, I no longer care that my analytics aren't reporting right.

Thanks for your patience, folks.

I’ve been mentioning for a while that the new site design is set to go live very soon. Unfortunately, it’s proving to be a little bit more buggy that previously anticipated.

It should be cleared up in the next day or so. Until then, bear with me. I still plan to post daily (and yes, I realize I owe you a WTF Wednesday. It will be up later this afternoon and I promise it will be worth the wait), and the site shouldn’t have any downtime between now and the new design going up, but some of that is out of my hands. I can assure you that if it does go down, I am aware of it, and my awesome developers are doing their best to fix it.

In the meantime, you’ll notice a few things might look a bit strange (like, for some reason, comments are no longer embedding), or that the new design will be live one minute, and then the old design will be back up the next minute.

It’s odd. It’s a little crazy. It’s frustrating. But I promise, it’s merely temporary. (At least, the frustrating part is temporary. The things that are crazy and odd will continue to be so, because that’s the appeal of this site)

Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to go have more cake. Because that is how I deal with stress. Hell, it’s how I deal with everything. 

Because life shouldn't be censored.

Hi folks,

I’m afraid I have to go and get all political on you. I’m truly sorry. You know how desperately I try not to be informed about, well, anything (for proof, please note the time I got Greenwich and North Greenwich mixed up. Or when I claimed that leprechauns were from Scotland.)

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It’s January 6th – the epiphany. According to folklore, La Befana visited all the little children in Italy last night, bringing toys and candy to the good ones, and lumps of coal to the bad ones. (Yeah, I know. We get a kindly fat man dressed in red, and Italian kids literally get an old hag. On the plus side, they get to live in Italy, so don’t feel too sorry for them). While I search my home for some lumps of black carbon (surely she wouldn’t forget Italian Americans, right?), you enjoy these links.

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What’s that? YOU’RE GOING TO HAVE TO SPEAK UP! (Also, I’m beginning to think that my secret crush on Neil deGrasse Tyson is not-so-secret anymore.)

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This gif of French comedian Remi Gaillard crashing a body-building tournament had me in stitches. For more of his not-so-subtle and occasionally reckless (and often litigious) antics, check this out.

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A totally random note from Geraldine: This is the 500th post to appear on my blog. Holy cats. There are few things I’ve done 500 times, folks. I won’t exactly go into WHAT, but there are few things – let’s just leave it at that. Thank you to everyone who helped me get to this milestone – whether through guest posts, comments, words of encouragement, or just by occasionally reading the nonsense that I post day in and day out … You are all wonderful, and I want to hug you each 500 times. Though that would probably get weird after the third hug or so. 

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My last post was intended to be about a pleasant day at the beach, and instead it devolved into gratuitous photos of me and my husband making out.

Sorry about that. I promise, there will be absolutely NO NONSENSE LIKE THAT TODAY. All my pictures will be chaste and sexless, and there definitely won’t be adorable self-portraits of me and my husband.

Like this one, for example.

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GAH! What is wrong with me? Sorry. Seriously, that will be the last bit of ooey-gooey sweetness for the day. It’s getting to the point that my own marriage might cause me to become diabetic.

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While my blog doesn’t have an official launch date, I’ve declared its birthday sometime in the first week of July. Like an irresponsible parent, I don’t remember when my creation first came into the world, and I was only marginally interested in those early months. Since the beginning of July was when I started to truly care, that’s the date I’ve stuck with.

And that means that this week, my blog turns 2.

Two years. Two years of traveling and writing. Twenty-four months of getting lost on public transportation and fighting with locals. A hundred and four weeks of eating lots and lots and lots of cakes (assuming I started eating them when I started my blog, which is incorrect). Seven-hundred-thirty days of following my heart, which belongs to this fool:

Fact: seconds after this photo was taken, he attacked my face with his. Look closely, and you can see madness in his eyes.

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