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Because life shouldn't be censored.

Hi folks,

I’m afraid I have to go and get all political on you. I’m truly sorry. You know how desperately I try not to be informed about, well, anything (for proof, please note the time I got Greenwich and North Greenwich mixed up. Or when I claimed that leprechauns were from Scotland.)

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It’s January 6th – the epiphany. According to folklore, La Befana visited all the little children in Italy last night, bringing toys and candy to the good ones, and lumps of coal to the bad ones. (Yeah, I know. We get a kindly fat man dressed in red, and Italian kids literally get an old hag. On the plus side, they get to live in Italy, so don’t feel too sorry for them). While I search my home for some lumps of black carbon (surely she wouldn’t forget Italian Americans, right?), you enjoy these links.

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What’s that? YOU’RE GOING TO HAVE TO SPEAK UP! (Also, I’m beginning to think that my secret crush on Neil deGrasse Tyson is not-so-secret anymore.)

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This gif of French comedian Remi Gaillard crashing a body-building tournament had me in stitches. For more of his not-so-subtle and occasionally reckless (and often litigious) antics, check this out.

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A totally random note from Geraldine: This is the 500th post to appear on my blog. Holy cats. There are few things I’ve done 500 times, folks. I won’t exactly go into WHAT, but there are few things – let’s just leave it at that. Thank you to everyone who helped me get to this milestone – whether through guest posts, comments, words of encouragement, or just by occasionally reading the nonsense that I post day in and day out … You are all wonderful, and I want to hug you each 500 times. Though that would probably get weird after the third hug or so. 

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My last post was intended to be about a pleasant day at the beach, and instead it devolved into gratuitous photos of me and my husband making out.

Sorry about that. I promise, there will be absolutely NO NONSENSE LIKE THAT TODAY. All my pictures will be chaste and sexless, and there definitely won’t be adorable self-portraits of me and my husband.

Like this one, for example.

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GAH! What is wrong with me? Sorry. Seriously, that will be the last bit of ooey-gooey sweetness for the day. It’s getting to the point that my own marriage might cause me to become diabetic.

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While my blog doesn’t have an official launch date, I’ve declared its birthday sometime in the first week of July. Like an irresponsible parent, I don’t remember when my creation first came into the world, and I was only marginally interested in those early months. Since the beginning of July was when I started to truly care, that’s the date I’ve stuck with.

And that means that this week, my blog turns 2.

Two years. Two years of traveling and writing. Twenty-four months of getting lost on public transportation and fighting with locals. A hundred and four weeks of eating lots and lots and lots of cakes (assuming I started eating them when I started my blog, which is incorrect). Seven-hundred-thirty days of following my heart, which belongs to this fool:

Fact: seconds after this photo was taken, he attacked my face with his. Look closely, and you can see madness in his eyes.

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Okay, so it’s a little early for a year-in-review, right? I mean, it’s June. But hey, that apparently didn’t stop Time Magazine from writing up the best blogs of 2011 … and, um … apparently I made the cut. Believe me: no one is more surprised than I am.

I mean, secretly I always hoped people would find my blog useful/interesting/entertaining, but I was also convinced for a long time that Dustin Diamond was actually Beastie Boy Mike D‘s little brother. And I am still absolutely positive to this day that Duran Duran actually sings “Mysterious Ways” (please do NOT tell me otherwise.)  The point is, I can’t trust my brain.

Fortunately, having an unreliable brain doesn’t seem to be a road-block to blogging . Judging by my crazed fellow travel bloggers out there, it might just be a requirement.

So, while I try to calm myself down from all of this crazy excitement (Seriously. This. Is. Awesome.), I’ve compiled a list of my top posts from the last year (and beyond). Of course, they’re my opinion of what my top posts have been … and you know how unreliable that brain of mine is.

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The Danish Village of Solvang. (A brief exchange between myself and my husband as we walked through the streets of this central California town – Me: “Can we move here?” Rand: “No.”)

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My experience with the new TSA screenings. By the time you read this, getting on a plane will require a pelvic exam.

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Horrific Temptations and the Golden Gate Bridge. How spending time at the most suicidal spot on the planet makes me crazy introspective (I’ve since concluded this was due to a contact high received from being downwind of Berkeley).

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The blog  has been a little slow this week (translation: completely neglected) as I’ve been doing a lot of traveling, eating, and accumulating some great stories. I promise to share them with you soon, but right now I’m proving the adage that the more interesting your life actually is, the more boring it seems on social media.

Don’t stray too far, okay? I’ll be back in just a few days with lots of the blather to which you’ve grown accustomed.