Dick Move, Food Court Lady!

Posted on
Aug 28, 2009
Posted in: Dick Move

I’ve noticed how easy it is to find material for “Dick Move!” posts, and it has me slightly worried. Are people just universally dicks? Does travel bring out the worst in people? Am I hyper-sensitive because I try really hard to be nice and don’t understand why old ladies are ALWAYS TELLING ME OFF? It’s probably d.) all of the above, which is hardly comforting.

As such, this week’s Dick Move! comes courtesy of yet another gray-haired lady I managed to piss off. Rand and I arrived at the airport last week for a quick trip down to Palo Alto. We ended up in some weirdly long line (did I mention to never trust the TSA, ever?) and when we finally got through security and to the food court, we were kind of sick of it all.

Rand spotted an empty table on which someone had left their trash, which is a common move. We had started to put our bags down and clean up, when a woman came up to us from across the food court, absolutely scandalized.

“Excuse me – we have NOT finished here.”

Rand and I were dumbfounded. There was no one in sight. They clearly had not left mid-meal (the dirty plates were piled on top of one another, and there were discarded napkins on top). They had gotten up, taken all their stuff with them, and were nowhere near the table when we sat down. Yet here she was, aghast that we had assumed the table was free.

Naturally, Rand and I grabbed our stuff, and as we walked away, Rand wondered if she wasn’t bullshitting us – just pretending that the table was hers. We turned around to watch her. Perhaps sensing this, she grabbed a fork and scooped up some leftover rice and ate it (did I mention that they had piled their trash on the plate? It was really weird). At that point, I kind of believed that she actually had been sitting there (or had at least earned the table by eating someone else’s trash), but I don’t know why she couldn’t have been more polite about it.

Honestly, is it so hard to say, “I’m sorry – I know it looks like we’ve left, but we actually haven’t finished”? Or just to be slightly less of a jerk about it?

Rand and I found seats shortly afterward, but we were still kind of shocked. So I walked over and surreptitiously took the above photo of her (seriously, I was freaked that TSA was going to tackle me. Taking photos of strangers in the airport is probably not the best idea I’ve had). But, I mean, I had to document it, right? Because it was such a (wait for it …) DICK MOVE, FOOD COURT LADY!

Hard to tell from this image, but Im pretty sure they were feasting on puppies.

Hard to tell from this image, but I'm pretty sure they were feasting on puppies.

Leave a Comment

  • You seem to attract them. I’m not sure why. But thank you for making it amusing for the rest of us. (Also, that might have been a compliment and I promise to never do that again).

  • Bravo for allowing her to be as big a DICK as she wants to be without stooping to her level (and no, for the record I DON’T think calling her on it in print is at ALL stooping, it’s reporting. That’s ‘journalism’.) Miss Manners would bel proud of you!

  • Was this at Seatac or in California? The Seatac plaza is usually not too crowded, which makes her behavior all the more obnoxious and bizarre. Eating a stranger’s germ laden food definitely takes this to the next level.

    • Geraldine

      It was in Seattle, but on a particularly crowded afternoon.

  • Lois Mazza

    I am with you on this one: why do some people have NO manners? VERY strange. They must have spotted the table, but were not as fast as you and hubby. So, she made up the bit about them not being finished yet. And she had to live her lie so she ate someone else’s leftovers (insert gagging sound here).

More from The Blog

On Instagram @theeverywhereist

  • Help! The book I'm writing about startup journeys and biases needs a title... By the end of tomorrow. If you have any suggestions, oh boy would I appreciate them. #randtookthis #workingonthebook
  • Slide viewer? Check. Slides? Check. Image of your mother when she was 26, pregnant with your brother, that you've never seen before? Check.
  • Whoa. Rand received this rather remarkable gift from someone at a conference and it's led to a lot of discussion in our house about the verisimilitude of it. Also, is it weird that people are constantly giving us likenesses of ourselves?
  • Little dude learning to skip rocks on a crystal clear Bavarian lake. Traveling with @wilreynolds & @norapreynolds is the best. #randtookthis #nofilter #bavariansunset #latergram
  • We visited an Abbey where monks brew beer. Somebody's photobombing us. And this was before the drinking. #randtookthis
  • Just visited my step-mother for the first time since my father died. She gave me a box of photos, many which I'd never seen, including this one of my grandfather on my parents' wedding day. This image of him, his face obscured by smoke, is fascinating to me. In my lifetime, I'd never seen him pick up a cigarette, ever.
  • Cheers! Not sure who was more excited to toast over dinner here in Bavaria. Both Rio And Wil look equally psyched.
  • This again. Off to Germany. Really nervous to see Dad's final resting place for the first time. But this guy has been super supportive. So grateful for him. #thisagain #randaldineselfie #selfiesonaplane
  • My husband's grandfather hugged me goodbye after we had breakfast today, and said, "Take care of my little boy." If you need me, I will be crying forever and ever and ever.
  • Geraldine lost her voice (from recording her AUDIO BOOK!) and so made this handy card to take around at the #Mozcon Local afterparty. #randtookthis

All Over The Place

Pre-order my book now and I promise I'll never ask you for anything again.

Pre-Order Now!