How to Stay Warm This Holiday Season

A completely impractical and financially insensitive step-by-step guide to staying warm this holiday season!

  1. Head to California.

  2. Go to the beach.
    Actual beach may vary.

  3. Take Rand with you.
    If you can't find Rand, feel free to substitute with the love of your life.

  4. Do this.
    Is that the heat of the sun? NO, IT'S THE FIRE OF LOVE MY BABY HAS FOR ME.

  5. Repeat as necessary.

P.S. – Can’t make it to California or the beach? No problem! This method also works great while sitting on a couch, lounging in a gazebo, or awaiting arraignment.

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  • Jenn

    Every day is Valentine’s Day for the Everywhereist.

  • Cry, Beloved Country

    Couch, yes. Gazebo, yes. But the benches in the courtrooms are wa-a-a-ay too crowded and uncomfortable–at least in Southwest Washington. What kind of benches do the courtrooms in Seattle *have*, exactly?

    • Everywhereist

      My counsel has advised me not to say anything else about the matter.

  • The World of Deej

    Well…at least I was warned it was sappy before clicking:)

    • Everywhereist

      Yeah – I’m benevolent that way.

  • Philip

    So… I am going to California for Christmas. If you don’t see Rand for a few days he might be with me. He said he was going to tell you… I hope I didn’t ruin the surprise.

  • The Bus Stop Sociologist

    it’s really sweet that you guys are so much in love :)
    but if you’re really feeling adventurous come to India you’ll see a new and exotic place while keeping warm :)
    well, as long as you stay off the mountains.
    it’s down right hot here compared to there, and we never have snow anywhere south of Kashmir!

  • ThinBloodedPhotographer

    From the cold North East UK, with expectant wintery showers, almost anywhere is looking good. Especially as my 12 year old has solen the Simpsons fleece, which was keeping me warm (ish). One condition on moving somewhere warm for the holidays. No creapy crawlies, including venemous spiders, snakes and Frenchmen. Practically, I think I am going to have to paint a beach murial on the inside of my frosty windows and crank up the heating! Happy holidays, wherever you are.