I Learn Something New About Him.

Posted on
Oct 7, 2013

It’s cute how excited he is for lunch.

I know him.

I know everything about him, really.

We are in Ashland for our anniversary trip, having lunch at Sesame, where we’ve been plenty of times before. Heck, I even think we’ve ordered the exact same dishes before.

But they are delicious, so I’m not complaining.

And he even lets me finish what he ordered, because I like it better.

I’ve been nervous the whole trip. Rand doesn’t know this, and I’m not going to tell him, because my fear sounds … well, stupid, frankly. It’s this: we’ve been married for five years, and together for twelve, and I am worried that we will run out of things to say.

I stare at him, sitting across the table. There is nothing about his face that is unfamiliar to me. At different times over the years, I’ve seen it etched with nearly every emotion imaginable.

It’s changed subtly with the passing of time. I know which grey hairs are long-time tenants, and which ones have just moved in.

I know his face. I know Rand.

I know exactly every single one of those eye crinkles.

This is comforting, of course, and wonderful, but if I were to be brutally honest? It also makes me a tiny bit sad. Not because he is familiar, but because he is no longer foreign.

Getting to know Rand has been one of the best parts of my adult life, and I’m sad that it’s over. Or, at least, I seem to think it is.

In approximately 3 minutes, I will realize how wrong I am.

Despite my fears, we don’t run out of things to say. Not that on that day, or on any of the others. And I suspect if it ever does happen, that will be okay, too, because part of being a grown-up is learning how to share a silence together without it being weird.

We chat about the plays we’ve seen and the ones we are going to see. We talk about the projects that we’re working on, and none of it is a surprise to either of us. He knows me just as well as I know him.

He grabs my camera, and takes a few pictures of me, but he fails to realize that the lens is zoomed in. So he gets my eye.

And a quarter of my face.

I have lots of acne scars. The teen years were tough.

He adjusts the lens and tries to get me to smile, and that’s when it happens. And this is my sincere and honest reaction:

After almost exactly five years of marriage, and twelve years together, I learn something entirely new and unexpected about my husband. I learn that he can do this:

How … why … why was I not informed of this? I SHOULD HAVE BEEN INFORMED OF THIS.

Apparently, I don’t know this guy at all. I have so many questions for him.

“How did you do that?” and “Why didn’t I know you could do that?” and “Can you show me how to do that?”

And suddenly, there is so much to talk about.

Leave a Comment

  • Jessica

    This post is nothing short of adorable.

  • Philip

    And we all learned a little something about Rand on that day.

    This made my very early morning.

  • Kristina Cline

    Aww, this was great! Never fear, there is always something new that will surprise you. I have been married 13 years (holy cow!) and every few months I catch myself saying “wait? really? I did not know that, how did I not know that!”

    I always love reading your Rand posts, such a positive picture of marriage is a joy to see.

  • Lindsay Henry

    so sweet….

  • I love this so much. The world needs more couples like you.

  • Jess Hutton

    G, you always make me laugh and cry at the same time. It hurts my face with its wonderfulness. 🙂

  • Hi Geraldine – I’m a long time follower of Moz (since 2008) and saw Rand tweet about this. Congrats on 5 years of marriage. It’s great to see when two people are perfect for each other and keep marriage fun. My wife (of 7 years) is awesome and we’re having our first baby boy next week.

    BTW, I keep trying to make jokes on Moz about “White Beard Friday” but nobody else thinks it’s funny. Maybe you’ll appreciate that one. 🙂

  • Deb

    Insomnia last night. Crocheted a lot. Just woke up groggy. This was better than coffee-that good belly laugh you just gave me. May I say as someone married 40 years… just aim for ‘still crazy after all these years’!

  • sambo

    As I a 22 year old male who has no thoughts of getting married in the next 8 years I find the warm tingling feeling that this article gave me both confusing and frightening

  • Absolutely love this. You’ve reassured me of what I worry about on a regular basis and we’ve only been together for three years!

  • Nekia

    Precious! The way he looks at you through the lens makes me give a heavy sigh. Great post!

    • Nekia

      A good heavy sigh! Like a girly, high pitched one.

  • hahaha.. this was great . made my day 🙂

  • Another separated at birth moment for us. That’s one of my special magic tricks that makes Amy alternate between saying “cool” and “gross” when I really go for it.

  • First of all, that is awesome. I think it was probably about 9 years into my relationship with my husband when I found out he could do that.
    Second, I’m kind of disappointed you were out to eat because I thought Rand’s meal was something one of you made, and I wanted the recipe!!

  • Charming and lovely.
    looks yummy too!

  • I feel less of a man because I don’t think I can do this. Cathy is travelling on business at the moment so I will wait for her to get back to check.

  • I thought of some very inapropriate jokes about this… but everyone is being cutesy, so I’ll save them…

  • Awesome 🙂 The picture of your reaction is a classic!

  • Gee, your husband hides stuff from you, Geraldine! I’d ask him right away to try and lick his elbow now: you don’t wanna have any other licking surprise in the near future…

  • A very sweet post and one that highlights that no matter how well we think we know someone there will always be something left to find out

  • Sammi

    I love this post.

    It gives me hope 🙂

  • Ethel

    So cute! I can’t do that . . . not that I’m trying right now . . . *innocent whistle*

    That reminds me of a story:

    A newlywed couple go to a restaurant together, and chat together the whole time about their dreams, their future, and adventures they want to pursue together. Out of the corner of her eye, the woman notices an elderly couple, and smiles to herself as she thinks, “Someday, that will be us.” However, the smile is replaced with a sense of unease as the evening wears on and the older man and woman don’t talk to each other. Their wedding rings match, they are clearly married – but they don’t say even a word, just sit and eat – occasionally one of them smiles as if enjoying a private joke, but they don’t talk about it. By the end of the evening, the young bride is feeling a little sad and worried. “Someday . . . will that be us?”

    On the way out, her new husband leans over and says, “Did you see that older couple to our right? They were so cute!”

    “What do you mean?”, she says. “They didn’t even talk to each other!”

    “Yes, but I looked under their table . . . they were playing footsy the whole time! So many years together, and they can still make each other smile with a touch.”

    My almost-60-year-old aunt loves to share that one with me.

  • As I was reading this I tried to use my tongue to touch my nose!!!

  • OK, this is possibly the cutest blog post I have read in, well, forever. I just love this; it sums up marriage and how we can, against all odds, surprise one another with something little or something big. I just adore that he captured your reaction on camera; it’s precious. Congrats on 5 years, and here’s to many, many more, with many more surprises.

  • Geraldine – WHAT “acne scars”?!? I agree, the teen years were tough! Rand’s skin does look luminous, I need to know his skincare regimen ;-p

    Thanks for sharing. I sometimes miss the excitement of “foreign.”

  • hana

    This entry is wonderfull, i worry about silly stuff from time to time, but this gives me hope and made me really happy.
    Someone else mentioned it before but i do agree that the world needs more couples like you guys! Congrats and good karma to you missy 🙂

  • Akriti

    So cute, really
    See, I’ve become your fan!

  • Margaret deRouleaux

    You are what is often called the “Beautiful People.” Seriously very handsome and cute, and vice versa.

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