I wrote a book. It’s nearly 300 pages long, so every English teacher I ever had can seriously go suck it because I HAVE MET ALL THE MINIMUM WORD COUNT REQUIREMENTS.
(Just kidding, English teachers. You made me who I am.)
It’s called All Over the Place: Adventures in True Love, Travel, and Petty Theft. Personally, I think I could have done a lot more revenge thieving during my travels if my true love hadn’t intervened, but I suppose that’s another story.
I dedicated my book to Jeff Goldblum and there’s an entire chapter about poop.
It won’t be released until May, but you could still buy it as a Christmas or Hanukkah gift and have it arrive really late. The recipient will probably be a little annoyed this holiday season but come spring they are going to love your forward-thinking ass.
Anyway, I made a book, and I’ve been thinking about making another one. How are you?