Neurosis, from Newark to Norway

Posted on
Sep 23, 2009
Posted in: Random Musings

Rand and I are on our way to Oslo, though by the time I post this, we’ll already be there (barring the usual global disasters). We’re currently in the Newark Airport, still reeling from our adventure at Sea-Tac eight hours ago. Needless to say, we made the flight because of Rand, who managed to get us through a one-and-a-half-hour security line in 20 minutes.

He might have offered the devil our first born child in exchange, but whatever. I mean, first-borns are practice, anyway. They’re the ones on which you screw up, right?

And now we’re halfway through our three hour lay-over in the waiting area of Gate One-Hundred and Something. I am tired – crazy tired, and hoping that I’ll manage to get some sleep on the plane, even though that’s not something I’m usually able to do. In the meantime, my brain is allowing that random walk of thoughts that only happens when we are very, very tired. In no particular order, here’s some of the nonsense that’s worked inteself through my head:

  • How awful would it  be to the be the ugly Jonas Brother whom you just know is no one’s favorite?
  • Man, I need some waterproof boots.
  • I wonder if that dude who’s asleep on the floor realizes he’s asleep on the floor … in NEWARK. Is he going to miss his flight? Or contract cholera?
  • Spina Bifida must suck.
  • Oh god, it reaks of pooh. And scents are airborne particles, which means I’m breathing in tiny particles of pooh. Oh, god. I AM BREATHING SOMEONE ELSE’S DIGESTED BIG MAC.
  • That show starring Joel from Mercer Island is good. Like, really good. I don’t know whether to be proud or jealous. I think I’ll go with prealous.
  • Did I remember to water my plant before leaving? No. Nope. Dead. It will be DEAD by the time I get home.
  • I will be in Newark four times in two weeks. That seems a bit much.
  • Shit. What the fuck am I doing with my life?

Anyway, you get the idea. I’m feeling exhausted and weird and insecure, and I’m off for a week to a cold climate full of (I imagine, at least) tall beautiful blond people. And …

Huh. Go figure. Just when I’m feeling neurotic and lonely and stupid and sick of travel, Rand shows up with this:

“But … but you don’t like sprinkles,” I say, a bit confused.

“No,” he replies, “but you do.”

 

And suddenly everything is okay again.

Leave a Comment

More from The Blog

On Instagram @theeverywhereist

  • It's hard for me to even begin to describe Rand's Uncle Doig. During the war, Rand's grandmother Ruth and her father were trying to flee Europe. They got stuck in England, where her Jewish-Austrian father was mistaken for a German, and thus an enemy combatant. He was sent to a POW camp and Ruth was adopted by an English family - Doig's family. (She and her father would be reunited after the war.) Now in his 90s, Doig remains a keeper of family lore, a hopeless romantic, and a wonderful flirt.
  • "Jeff Goldblum? I haven't heard that name in years."
  • Video games are riveting. And confusing.
  • Green tea latte and 70 degrees at 7am. We're reached peak southern California, friends.
  • So awkward that the two loves of my life would meet like this. #jeffgoldblum
  • These are a few of my favorite things.
  • The torrential rains gave way to ... slightly less rain? Alas.
  • I don't even know how to describe how lovely this place is. #edinburghcastle #edinburgh #scotland
  • Aaaand then the sun came out and everything was beautiful. #scotland #edinburgh
  • Scotland, I'd really love to explore, but I'm getting the feeling you want me to stay in and do some work today.

All Over The Place

Buy my book and I promise I'll never ask you for anything again.

BE AWESOME. BUY IT.