Stop Saying Mansplaining Isn’t a Big Deal. It is.

Posted on
Jul 25, 2017
77

Last week I wrote what happened when I tried Soylent. If you missed it, a quick summary: I became the human equivalent of what happens when you drop Mentos into a Diet Coke.

Soylent aficionados were not happy. Their rage was understandable. After all, I’d come for their soy isolate meal replacement beverage. Very soon this group of angry men who had no actual knowledge of my body or my diet started explaining the very mechanics of my body and diet to me.

Some accused me of outright lying.

And that I was clearly in the pocket of “Big Food” and all of my experiences were made up.

 

They insisted that Soylent was good for me and that, I dunno, me feeling sick was a result of me being close-minded?

“pooping up on the web”

 

And then they started explaining my own bowel movements to me.

(Sorry, asshole, but if I took a raging shit every time I was anxious, I’d be a hell of a lot skinnier than I am.)

I just had my own shits mansplained to me. When I mentioned that this is precisely what a few of the commenters above were doing, they weren’t happy. Because for a man to acknowledge that he’s mansplaining, he also has to acknowledge his position of privilege over women.

I mean, they’re just coming up with an alternate explanation, because obviously the one I gave wasn’t good enough! Why do I have to be so sexist about it? (One commenter even told me that I wasn’t being mansplained to – I was “woman-misunderstanding.”)

Let me state a couple of things that  I don’t think need to be fucking said, but hell, Donald Trump is President, so let’s just assume that EVERYTHING NEEDS TO BE SAID.

Not every guy who explains something to a woman is a mansplainer. For example, these commenters took issue with the fact that I said the movie Soylent Green came out in the 1960s. It was actually the 70s. (And I assume that given the name used, at least one was a dude.)

This is not mansplaining. This is declaring a fact. And they’re polite about it! I appreciate them trying to keep me on the level. So when a woman accuses you of mansplaining, don’t immediately dismiss it with a “Oh, she says that whenever a man explains something to her.”

Men explaining stuff to other men isn’t mansplaining, either. It might be condescending, but it lacks the inherent sexism and power differential that exists between a man and a woman.

But if you, as a man, claim to know more about a woman’s own body than she does, you are mansplaining. When you start to question her own experiences and reality and feelings and opinions just because you don’t like them, you are mansplaining. When you feel that you are better qualified to make choices that influence her autonomy over her own body, you are mansplaining. When you ridicule or dismiss her viewpoints and her description of reality, despite having zero evidence to support the idea that she’s wrong or mistaken, you are mansplaining. And in doing so, you are perpetuating the misogyny and sexism that defines nearly every part of a woman’s existence.

Let’s be clear: mansplaining has nothing to do with disagreeing. It has to do with an inherent belief that my viewpoint isn’t as valid as yours even when we are talking about my own body. And that has some huge, scary implications for me. Because if you don’t believe me when I tell you something made me feel sick, you probably aren’t going to believe me when I tell you I was harassed or assaulted. My reality conflicts with your worldview, and so you’ve made it clear that you aren’t going to accept it. If you won’t give us the benefit of the doubt versus Soylent, you sure as fuck won’t give it to us versus Bill Cosby.

You don’t have to like me. You don’t have to agree with me. But you don’t get to tell me that my thoughts about my own intestines are bullshit just from reading a blog post.

Some may balk at the suggestion that this can at all be related to the current war being waged over women’s bodies, but I’d argue that there is no is greater example of mansplaining than a group of old white men determining what’s best for a woman when it comes to her health. As the GOP erodes safe access to legal abortions, this is the message that we’re sending women: you shouldn’t be allowed to make these decisions.

The existence of safe and legal abortions in no way means a woman has to get one. It is a choice. And inherent in that belief system is the idea that women are qualified to make that choice about their body and their lives. A bill just passed in Arkansas requires that before administering an abortion, a doctor must inform the man who impregnated their patient. Even if, theoretically, that man raped her. Even if he could, ostensibly, stop her from getting that abortion. That doesn’t really sound like they’re trying to uphold the sanctity of life. It sounds like they’re trying to uphold the sanctity of a man’s opinion over a woman’s.

But even if I were to grant that the abortion debate is somehow about the sanctity of life (and if it is, then it’s strange how quiet the pro-lifers were about the shooting of Charleena Lyles, a black, unarmed pregnant mother of four, by Seattle police), being pro-life in no way justifies the other aspects of the GOP’s healthcare plan. Being pro-life doesn’t explain why you’d allow insurers to stop covering basic benefits like maternity care or contraception. As Jen Wright brilliant explained, the pro-life movement has a lot of dead women in it. The GOP healthcare plan stands to have a lot more.

Federal subsidies don’t cover abortions under the status quo. Right now federal funds under Obamacare do cover care at Planned Parenthood but not abortions (which only make up 3.4% of the services PP offers, anyway). But the GOP plan means that women on Medicaid can’t get any medical care covered at Planned Parenthood. Considering that nearly 75% of the services that PP offers to women consists of treating and preventing STDs, and offering birth control, that’s a pretty big health issue, and one that will disproportionately affect lower income women (who make up the majority of Planned Parenthood’s clientele).

So let’s be clear: the GOP isn’t just telling women they can’t get abortions. They’re limiting access to birth control and STD testing.

Doesn’t that seem to fit a narrative that they know what’s better for our bodies than we do?

Some argue that mansplaining is innocuous. Some argue that all men do it – the oft-uttered “boys will be boys” refrain that an offense is somehow excusable because it’s so widespread. Some argue that it is simply an annoyance, but it has nothing to do with rampant sexism.

I disagree.

I wrote a post about how a drink wrecked my bowels. It was meant to be lighthearted. Most people found it funny. A few became so enraged that the comments section quickly turned abusive. I banned a few accounts. I set up boundaries, because I don’t like it when people call me or my readers names. After doing so, I got responses like this:

 

Are you going to read the above comment, which was left on a fucking post about how I didn’t like Soylent and tell me that the person who wrote it thinks my opinions as a woman are valuable?

This is how some men respond to accusations of misogyny. They go ahead and prove our point, 10-fold. They accuse our husbands of being homosexuals (because that is, I suppose, the worst insult they can imagine) and consequently not real men; they eviscerate us for insulting their soy drinks while claiming that we’re too sensitive over the issue of sexism.

They equate being a feminist with hating men.

This is what happened when I came for their Soylent. Just imagine what they’d say if someone came for their reproductive rights.


Also published on Medium.

Leave a Comment

  • Hoo boy. 100% spot on.

    Good luck.

    I’m pretty sure there’s this horde of terrible men who sit around searching for places on the internet where women have even the slightest shred of editorial control. These spaces INFURIATE them.

    God forbid you diss the soy drinks.

    • Very soon this group of angry men who had no actual knowledge of my body or my diet started explaining the very mechanics of my body and diet to me.

  • CPD2k

    Spot on!

  • Yup. Nailed it. The same men will try to explain this away but the women are all nodding our heads like “I know, happens all the damn time.”

  • Punned_It

    A slight aside on the “pro life” agenda.
    It strikes me as odd that folks are all over the Charlie Gard case asserting that the parents should decide what’s best for their child – not the doctors and not the courts. If his condition had been discovered before birth, and the parents had decided to get an abortion, they would have been all over the case insisting that she should carry the child to term and that the courts should decide.

    • Everywhereist

      I can’t weigh in on the issue itself – there’s too much there. But I find myself enraged that Trump is so willing to support the family when he KNOWS that in the U.S., under his healthcare plan, there is no way they’d be able to afford Charlie’s care. It’s only possible due to the NHS and all its protections. The hypocrisy is staggering.

    • Carissa

      Not all pro-life supporters would. I know many pro-life people who would say for the health of the family and the lack of achievable care for the infant that keeping him would not benefit either. Try not to demonize a whole group based on a few extremists.

      • PdxOregon

        Well over and over I read comments from pro-lifers essentially saying no one ever should have an abortion and that it is murder etc. I wish I could remember the case but I read a story about a family who chose to abort due to severe medical issue with the fetus. Again can’t remember specifics but remember thinking that I don’t see how anyone under the medically devastating circumstances would be opposed to these people choosing abortion but the comments showed that my thoughts were clearly wrong. Numerous posters commented on how this couple was making a bad decision, didn’t really love their child and that sort of thing.

        Also the work of those who are pro-life to stop not only abortion but prevent women from having easy access to birth control makes me disinclined to view them in much of a positive light. Yes there may be some moderate pro-lifers but from what I se the vast majority are not.

    • Think of it this way – pro-life supporters and parental rights supporters strongly overlap. In both cases, it’s really, in most cases, about men being in control.

      For abortion, that’s a woman controlling her own body, so that’s a no.

      For a kid that has already been born, well, that kid is the property of its parents now (especially the father, as these tend to be authoritarian households, with the man “as the head”) and how dare the government try to tell him what to do with his property.

  • PNW

    Amazing

  • coffee_ninja

    I had the same Soylent experience. I stuck with it for several weeks and, at the risk of being too gross, it never stopped making me “pee out the butt.”

    But now I’m afraid I’ll risk getting caught in an endless loop of “mansplaining” by talking about this at all, but I’m going to risk it. 🙂

    I think that when a man dismisses a woman’s opinions or speaks past her specifically because she’s a woman then that’s a big deal. In fact, I’d go further and say I think that when anyone dismisses ideas based solely on the identity of the person promoting them, that’s a big deal and one we as a society need to get past. And it’s a knife that cuts both ways. Among folks in my industry on Twitter, I’ve seen people accused of “____splaining” because they offered an opposing opinion in a perfectly reasonable way, to someone whose identity differs in some way from their own. I think that sometimes folks are quick to label an opposing idea as “___splaining” as a way do dismiss criticism by attacking identity and pleading discrimination, rather than considering the idea itself. It’s unfortunately no matter whose doing it.

  • J Tidrick

    I’ve been reading your blog for years and couldn’t believe how fast that one went sideways in the comment section so thank you for this post. Your posts are light hearted and funny, (except when they have to be serious, like this one) something many of your “commenters” have obviously never experienced- I’m not sure how they found you so fast.

  • Mo

    Again, well done. Some of the adolescent commenters who attempted to lecture you make me ashamed to share a gender with them.

    • Cole Whisnant

      Agreed!

  • Jeez, Geraldine! When will you learn? Next time, just say something along the lines of “I’m confused… I don’t understand what happened! Maybe a man can explain it to me, in terms my poor little woman’s brain can comprehend. Just don’t just any big words, please!” 😉

  • Paige Baker

    > When you ridicule or dismiss her viewpoints and her description of reality, despite having zero evidence to support the idea that she’s wrong or mistaken, you are mansplaining.

    This, so much. Thank you

    • Day Elisa

      In that case a woman can mansplain as much as a man. So come up with another word that doesn’t demean all men.

    • Lori Haggstrom

      I agree. Best explanation I’ve seen. And Day Elisa still doesn’t get it if they think a woman can mansplain. Read the article again –

      No only sexism.Women can be abusive & prejudice towards men,but they can’t be sexist because they don’t hold political & institutional power https://t.co/N2rYkFAff4

      — Lexi Alexander ‎ (@Lexialex) July 25, 2017

  • YES. This –> “Let’s be clear: mansplaining has nothing to do with disagreeing. It has to do with an inherent belief that my viewpoint isn’t as valid as yours even when we are talking about my own body. And that has some huge, scary implications for me. Because if you don’t believe me when I tell you something made me feel sick, you probably aren’t going to believe me when I tell you I was harassed or assaulted.”

    I was severely harassed during my trip to Colombia to the point of being scared to leave my apartment (and even as an avid traveler, that hasn’t happened to me in like 10 years) and when I shared my experience, men came OUT OF THE WOODWORK to tell me I was wrong and exaggerating or misunderstanding about the crazy dude who tried to grab me while I waited in line and then waited for me outside the building and TRIED TO FOLLOW ME HOME on his motorcycle.

    This is not okay.

  • Ashley Wilkinson

    Well, they say that all publicity is good publicity and you are definitely getting hits with these posts! *raises eyebrow*. I am quite curious to know what Soylent themselves think of your previous post. Not everyone can handle Soy Protein very well, so logically one would conclude that your mansplainers obviously have cast-iron stomachs. Lol! Possibly the reaction you are getting is due to the fact that if people admit that you had stomach issues with this product, then they would have to admit that maybe it’s not so good for them in the quantities that they are consuming it. I am sure it is fine for once-in-a-while for the majority of people, or for people with particular problems they are catering for. But everyday?

  • Miu

    Perfection!
    Geraldine, I am so glad you continue gracing us with your wonderful blogposts! I hope we will always be enough people to shower you with love and support, so that you can always feel the impact you are having <3

  • Ashley

    All those people complaining that you couldn’t possibly have experienced bowel problems within 20 minutes of having the drink have clearly never experienced lactose intolerance. Hooooooo boy, have my brother and I got some stories for them…

    • Bridget Stewart

      …or salmonella. It doesn’t take 6-8 hours for that gem to weak havoc. Just sayin’.

  • Peccatori

    “reality conflicts with your worldview”
    Seems to be the universal, underlying issue.

  • Wendy Hinxman

    I had a guy mansplain boobs at me on Facebook and then had the audacity to get all upset and butthurt when called out on this not only by me but by a dozen of my women friends, and kept trying to tell us he wasn’t mansplaining and then whining about how he was being attacked. It never ends. It’s like male privilege blindness.

  • Jane Klein

    Yes. Yes. Yes. You are SO good at putting into words what so many of us are feeling. Thank you. And ugh, I’m sorry you had to deal with those shits. Such a waste of your time. xoxo.

  • Day Elisa

    Women don’t have power? That’s a load of crock. Have you been to family court recently. Women have all the power. They just love to cry the victim.

    Women are way more sexist than men. They just don’t like to admit it.

    • PdxOregon

      Please back up your assertions with some facts. Even if what you say about women having all the power in family court is correct (which I’m sure some stats would show is wrong) that is one issue. If women have some much power why do old male republicans restrict women’s access to abortion and birth control? If women are so powerful why are the majority of victims of domestic violence women?

      Do you really believe the garbage spewing out of your mouth or are you just trying to get a rise out of people? If you really believe what you are saying I feel sorry for you.

    • itstoospicy

      Also, it is the patriarchy’s perspectives of traditional family roles that skews custody cases in favour of women. Feminism helps everyone, bud.

  • Day Elisa

    Girls. Girls. Girls. Sometimes you are so insufrable. Admit it. You want a man to mansplaining things to you just so you can call him out and virtue signal to the world.

    • karin

      Oooh, I can’t wait until Geraldine blocks your account.

    • PdxOregon

      Just stop. You know who is insufferable right now besides you? Our president elect. Insufferable people can have a penis or a vagina. “You want a man to mansplaining things”?! WTF?! Are you serious? You sound like those morons who rape woman and justify it because they were “asking for it”. Don’t like a blog where the author wants people to be treated on the merits of the ideas, experiences, and opinions rather than their genitals? Then go look at other blogs, guessing there are plenty of blogs talking about how men should be in charge and women should get back in the kitchen.

      You put up ridiculous and poorly thought out posts so women can get upset and you can say they are triggered or being hormonal or man haters or whatever sad little excuse you use when you want to feel better than people with a vagina.

    • PdxOregon

      Starting off with Girls. Girls. Girls isn’t really going to get anyone to listen to you unless you happen to be Motley Crue.

      • Wendy Hinxman

        Thank you for now getting that song stuck in my head!

    • itstoospicy

      I really like how you are mansplaining how women actually like being mansplained to here. It’s like the inception of mansplaining.

  • Day Elisa

    Besides. Have you ever considered that went a man mansplains something to you it may be that he is doing it because you need it mansplainedible?

    • PdxOregon

      Besides. Have you ever considered that you are an idiot? Clearly you didn’t read the blog post you just came down here to troll or be annoying (congrats on that you win!). She didn’t say men should never explain things to women or that anytime that happens its mansplaining. The point of the blog, cause clearly you missed it, is that just because you have balls and a dick it doesn’t automatically make your knowledge superior to those with a vagina, so stop acting like it does.

  • Day Elisa

    And have you ever considered the opposite of mansplaining – nagging? How many times have you nagged a man? Probably a lot more times than you have been mansplained.

    • PdxOregon

      Those aren’t opposites. I’m beginning to think Santa needs to bring you a dictionary and/or thesaurus for Christmas.

    • itstoospicy

      Only because they deserve it! My period! Hysteria! Blue chores!

  • Stephen Lee Anderson

    I personally don’t care about the mansplaining argument, but your last comment about coming after our Reproductive Rights. Men have no Reproductive Rights. That’s part of my problem with the abortion issue.

    • Everywhereist

      “Men have no reproductive rights.”

      Oh. My. God.

    • PdxOregon

      Stephen please do explain how many have no reproductive rights. I would sincerely love to hear your reasoning and research on this. Let’s set aside the issue of abortion right now and just focus on birth control pills etc. You do realize that many businesses are trying to get out of covering birth control for women. Major infringement on reproductive rights on women. So please do present your research or examples to support your incredibly dubious point. We’ll all wait.

  • Thank you! You are so brave to step directly into the line of troll-fire – a thousand times braver than I am. I want to be you when I grow up as a blogger.

  • Angelo Aquilano

    Hi there
    Geraldine, I came here for poop gifs and Jeff Goldblum references and you’ve made my day. I started laughing and was just saddened by the crap coming out of these comments. And it reminded me of times friends of mine who are accomplished, smart and amazing women didn’t get past a first date or didn’t pursue a friendship with someone because of this shit. Thank you for creating this dialogue. I’ve always loved your blog!
    Soylent sounds like it’s made of broken dreams by the way.
    Best,
    Angelo

  • itstoospicy
  • Joseph Prisco

    I thought your article was hilarious. I am sorry you have to deal with such toxicity online.

  • Your Soylent post was the first post of yours I ever read and I loved it. I have no idea how it turned into the angry mess that it did other than some people defending a product they like. It went crazy fast.

    I am sorry you were attacked like this and I’m sorry that it ever happens to anyone. I’m sure I’ve probably been guilty of it myself (except for the pure woman-hating comments, don’t think I’ve ever been that mean). I apologize on behalf of every man who may not be aware they are doing it. I’m not apologizing for the sexist assholes. They’re on their own. Just the ones who mean well and unintentionally cross the line because we honestly don’t understand the BS you have to put up with and may even contribute to the problem sometimes.

    You do have a new fan in me and I look forward to your future posts.

    Transformed Nonconformist

  • Cole Whisnant

    I am a straight white male. I hate the when other people of my ethnicity and gender disrespect the opposite gender or ethnicity just because they can. I see it in school, social media, and in public. So other straight, white males. If you so feel the need to disrespect someone just because they are homosexual, female, or are a different race than you, think about how you would feel if you were them and they were you. You probably would not be to happy about someone disrespecting you! Great post imo. I think it needed to be posted!

  • Mary

    Everything you said here is accurate, and I am thrilled to tell you that late last night, a (female) judge struck down the four egregiously anti-choice laws in Arkansas. https://www.arktimes.com/ArkansasBlog/archives/2017/07/29/judge-halts-state-law-on-abortion-procedure

  • Lindsey Gilbert Mechenbier

    I have been a follower of your blog for years but I have never felt so strongly connected to a post before I read this. Thank you for always speaking your unabashed truth. We need more of your voice in the world. These people cannot see through the hatred that blinds them. This hatred stems from something that none of us can uncover and it is NOT our duty…it is theirs. As we all know they choose to remain an unending powerhouse of methane idiocracy Take your fart boxes elsewhere. We got our fill with Soylent’s adverse effects that you have not effectively disputed…only highlighted your ignorance with crude insults that prove absolutely nothing.

  • Jennifer Scott Hibbert

    For the record I tried Soylent and had the exact same experience.

  • Anne Mølgaard

    Well roared, lioness!

  • Sudesh Bapat

    To avoid any unpleasant situation, always hire cab. Especially from the reliable sources like https://www.alicoolcab.com/.

  • Dear god I love you. <3

    • Everywhereist

      <3 <3 <3

  • Kallia Adventures

    This could not be more perfectly put. Thank you for putting into words what so many of us feel all the d*mn time!!! Even my husband tries to tell me he knows better than I do sometimes – although he’s smart enough to be ashamed when I call him on it.

    I am so sorry that some horrible people responded to you in this way. The only saving grace I can think of on this topic is this:

    “You have enemies? Good. That means you stood up for something, sometime in your life”. -Winston Churchill

    I and countless other women are standing with you. 🙂

    And I will never, EVER try Soylent.

  • Mr_Grumpypants
    • Everywhereist

      This gif brings me such joy. Thank you.

  • Janne Ojaniemi
  • I am a male that is trying to be ever more careful about inadvertently mansplaining, as well as fix a number of other things that society has foisted upon me and I’ve inadvertently made a part of my personality.

    Thank you for writing so clearly about what is and what isn’t. This should be in textbooks.

  • Jason Silvers

    So I started writing out this whole counter argument to your’s and I was doing research to help validate my point and it turns out I was totally wrong. I was going to argue that both men and women have digestive systems so it wasn’t that huge of a leap to compare. Turns out…. that is wrong… like super wrong. Men and women’s digestive systems are very different due to, “childbearing, the presence of female reproductive organs, and hormones.” http://www.newsmax.com/FastFeatures/female-digestive-system-differ-male/2016/04/27/id/726146/

    Basically, I agree both men and women have no business telling the other how there bodies respond to things. Anyway, I enjoy your blog. Have a great day.

  • fiona64

    It is astonishing to me how infantile these “men” become when you don’t buy into their crap.

    Just the other day, on another blog, I remarked on a specific line in the article and provided an opinion. A man just had to tell me that I had misunderstood the article, which in reality said “X.” When I quoted the line, which said something other than “X” and finished with “Just like I said,” he wanted to know why I was “so angry.” Well, the mansplaining, which (as is almost inevitably the case) was incorrect, had no purpose but to shut me down.

    He got really pissed when it didn’t work.

    I can’t help envisioning these guys hanging out in their mother’s basements and being filled with righteous indignation and Mountain Dew. :-/

  • Marion in Savannah

    BRAVO! Thanks for the best explanation of mansplaining I’ve ever seen. (Loved the Soylent piece, by the way.)

  • Bob

    What a bunch of thin skinned douch canoes. I like many others loved the humor in the Soylent post.
    I wonder how many of those people (term used very loosely) have had a cup of morning coffee and found themselves quickly in need of the facilities? Same, same I would gather with Soylent, it makes perfect sense to me. Anything with high fiber, say all bran cereal promotes bowel movements.

    As for the whole Planed Parenthood/women’s bodies debate, the rest of the civilized world are shaking our collective heads in confused wonder. I’m Canadian so the whole “paying for basic health care” is a foreign concept to me. But to take it that one step further and to dictate what services are available to women is abominable, expecially when the decisions are being made by a cabal of geriatric has beens.

    Just blown away by the stupidity that has taken over the so called “Land of the Free”. How many of those trolls would be back peddling if someone they loved was impregnated in an act of violence? Or if they somehow managed to knock up their own GF?

    Looking forward to many fresh perspectives on life in your musings.
    Keep up the good work.

  • Not that this matters for the point of THIS article, but I wanted to add:

    For shits and giggles (sorry, pun) I searched “How quickly do the bowels react to laxatives?” (because, let’s be honest, that’s basically what Soylent apparently was). One of the first results: “Some laxatives work quickly, within 15-30 minutes, and some take one or two days to work.” (https://patient.info/health/laxatives ) So there, it’s entirely plausible for your intestines to react violently within FIFTEEN MINUTES. I’m sure there are probably substances that cause a reaction even faster, but probably aren’t safe to use as medicinal laxatives.

    And this is just searching Google. I don’t have an M.D. I’m not an expert on the human body. I HIGHLY DOUBT any of the contrarian commenters on the previous article have any medical qualifications. But it’s cool, they totally know Soylent so that means they know everything about how another person might react to it, medical science be damned!

  • Mahatma Randy

    First of all: you did drink the stuff, it is disgusting, and you did get an epic case of the shits. Not doubting you, not telling you what to do with your colon, and the second-hand report of your fuzzy pumper barber set after ath was hilarious. As to sexual assault, I always believe the victim (regardless of gender) and I’ve only been wrong to do that once.

    That said, I hate the phrase “Mansplaining” almost as much as I hate the phrase “Reboot,” (which is used continually and generally incorrectly). I spotted the error with the date on Omega Man/Make Room Make Room, but I considered it trivial since I knew what you meant, and it didn’t distract from your real point, which was hilarious bathroom humor. Still, there are a lot of women (not you, obviously) that will say something that requires at least an inquiry (“so why do you think we faked the moon landing, despite millions of pieces of evidence to the contrary,” for instance) and just asking the question gets me slammed as a sexist trying to Mansplain everything. “No, Fanta was not started by the Nazis. In fact, it’s a pretty fascinating story of perserverence and resistance to the powers that were in charge at the time because…”. Mansplaining! Conversation shut down!

    It’s very irritating because I go out of my way to be polite, but some people (again, not you, you’re great) can’t tell the difference between conversation and argument. And most people just don’t seem to have any manners. I think – my opinion, Feel free to disagree – I think most of this is simple dickishness. I get guys talking to me the same way. It’s an asshole thng to do, but it’s kind of ubiquitous. Dicks are dicks to everyone.

    How’d I do? Was this ok, or did I defeat myself? That’s not sarcasm. Given the subject matter, it’s hard to be sure.

  • David Fischer

    I followed the link from Apple-tech-blog DaringFireball to the post about Soylent. It was the end of a tiring week of business travel, and I was exhausted and unwinding before getting up at 4am to get to the airport.

    And I was almost crying from laughing so hard! Just what I needed.

    It also fit with I’ve read about Soylent the past couple years at Ars Technica.

    And now this blog is in my subscription list to check out for further reading.

  • Mohan Prakash

    I am 100% sure you can find budget and luxury deals in discount price. https://www.incredibletaj.com/Sunrise-Taj-Mahal-Tour-From-Delhi-14-hrs.html

  • Lambchopsuey

    You know what? People can eat a bunch of prunes or drink a large glass of prune juice and enjoy a squirtfest within an hour. It’s just plain BULLSH(oo)t to say that the digestive system doesn’t work like that. It DOES.

  • Harry Robertson

    The people denying your experience are idiots. I suffered for several years until we tied the issue to soy oil. It is a disaster for me. I won’t get into details but I needed to identify restrooms along the entire route. Sorry for the morons who decided that they needed to get into mansplaining mode..

  • Aiman Parween

    this is very relevant.

  • Jennifer Sanow

    I had a guy I went to high school with and had not seen or spoken to in 12 years try to correct AN INSTAGRAM CAPTION of mine. I posted a picture of a barn door in France with the caption “the barn door at our country house.” He commented “cellar door ;)” Thank you for the extra condescension in the emoticon. I’ll let the horses and the donkey and the tractor know they are actually living in an above-ground cellar. How foolish of me.

  • I’m sorry so many people missed the point on your post, but I have a slightly different point of view: what you describe as “mansplaining” here is more what I would simply call assholery, which both women and men can do (I know I can be guilty of that). Sure they were assholes, but I don’t think they were attacking you because you are a woman. Instead, they are just assholes, that’s what they do. Would you think differently of them if they were women?

  • Katie Mason Ferley

    Also, the irony of males emasculating your husband over their love of a soy-containing drink that literally mimics estrogen in the body…

  • Lambchopsuey

    LOVE this!

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On Instagram @theeverywhereist

  • Rand insisted on organizing our books by color *after* I had organized them alphabetically, AS ONE SHOULD. I suspect this is the closest I will ever come to divorcing him. I can't find a damn thing. But yes, it does look nice. #bookstagram #booklove #colorcodedbooks #bookshelf #shelfie
  • Four flights in five days. So sleepy. Finally heading home after a wonderful few hours in Ashland seeing @demeritt's incredible one-man show.
  • Why yes, I did run off to Ashland for a hot minute with the most handsome man in the world. What did you do today?
  • Thank you, Minneapolis, for reminding me that we can be pretty, even in the rain.
  • Stumbled upon these paranoid stone benches in MSP and they are speaking to my soul.
  • And to think, all this time I've been telling myself I pecan't.
  • Packing. Home in shambles. Accidently broke my own arm off of this wedding gift a dear friend made us. The symbolism is not lost on me.
  • This absurdly handsome man bounded across the stage in his "Nevertheless, She Persisted" t-shirt and talked about how he doesn't always adhere to gender norms, and that's okay. #soproud #inbound17 #latergram
  • Oh, okay, fine, I'll keep him. (Off to the Inbound conference, where I expect to trounce this fool with my speaking score.) #thisagain #randaldineselfie #selfiesonaplane
  • I sent @randderuiter to the housewares store by himself and this happened. I am the luckiest woman in the world. #christopherwalken #davidbowie #bowiepillow #walkenpillow

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