I’d like to think that I’m pretty up-to-speed on important, world-changing events. I read reddit daily. I’m following the situation in Libya. I heard about the passing of Jack Layton, leader of Canada’s Official Opposition party (though in all honesty, up until this week I had no idea who he was). I’m even somewhat aware that one of the Kardashians got hitched recently, proving that even vapid people are deserving of love.

So naturally, you can imagine I might have been slightly beside myself when I saw this a few months back:

WHAAAAA ...?

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STRAWBERRY. MOTHER-EFFING. HOSTESS. CUPCAKES.

Yeah, I know.

I have no idea why I was not informed. Does Hostess REALLY not have me on their press mailing list? It seems that they ought to. Because even though the strawberry variant of the Hostess cupcake has been around since January 2011, I did not see them until June.

I was at gas station in northwestern Washington state, not far from the Canadian border, and there they were, innocently sitting on the shelf. Next to them was something I have seen before, if only rarely: the elusive orange-flavored Hostess cupcake.

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These are kind of like Haley's comet.

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In college, I had a friend who disputed the existence of orange Hostess cupcakes, even after I swore, hands down, that they were real. She questioned my knowledge on the topic of cupcakes, which is just ridiculous – it’s like debating Einstein over physics. THERE ARE SOME THINGS THAT CERTAIN PEOPLE ARE PUT ON THE EARTH TO UNDERSTAND. Do not question them. Ever.

Seeing an orange Hostess cupcake is rare enough. Seeing it alongside the previously-unheard-of-at-least-to-me strawberry Hostess cupcake is like discovering that Jeff Golblum made a movie with Cyndi Lauper (awesome, but a little shocking and disorienting).

I made sure to snap a few pictures, but then I did something I rather regret: I did not buy either of these confections.

I know. I know. I’m not really sure what I was thinking. I was just so overwhelmed by what I had seen (plus, all my cash was in Canadian currency).

Also, let’s be fair: Hostess cupcakes are kind of terrible. That’s not to say I won’t eat them (I remember once when I was little my mother let me take a chocolate Hostess cupcake in my school lunch. I have not forgotten it. It was one of the better days of my life.) It’s simply that I’ve found much much better iterations as I’ve traveled the globe.

But still. I should have been informed about these beforehand. And I should have tried them.

You know, for science

Full list of categories:  Awesome » Food » WTF
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Comments (18)

  1. 1
    Becca says:

    Um, so I didn’t know either one of those existed. In fact, I pride myself on how much I love desserts and I have never even had a regular Hostess cupcake. I fail at life.

  2. 2
    Kristen says:

    When we were kids, weren’t Hostess cupcakes sooo gooood? And now, they’re all right. I mean, I won’t turn one away. But I’d much prefer a gazillion other things if given the choice. It’s interesting how our tastes change as we age.

  3. 3
    Sally says:

    Wow, can I relate! I felt this way when I went back to the States in January after having been gone over a year and discovered pretzel M&Ms. Umm, hello? I know I was in a foreign country and all, but someone really should have emailed to tell me about that. Seriously.

  4. 4
    Aidan says:

    Month’s? FOR SHAME.

    • 4.1
      Everywhereist says:

      Oh, Aidan, you are so right. I’m a copywriter, for the love of Pete. Fixed my mistake (thank you) and am cowering in a corner with embarrassment. This is what happens when you compose a post in the middle of the night.

  5. 5
    Daria says:

    Right after I read your post, I saw this: strawberry and orange-flavored donuts. Coincidence? Or the universe falling in line?

    http://www.bonappetit.com/blogsandforums/blogs/badaily/2011/08/glamour-and-krispy-kreme-colla.html

  6. 6
    JoeyinItaly says:

    Pretzel M&Ms? Seriously? When did this happen?

    Hostess cupcakes, the only cupcake that had peelable icing. Rolled right off the top. I don’t think I ever actually ate the cake part.

    • 6.1
      Everywhereist says:

      It’s true – the frosting on those cupcakes are an isotope away from plastic. But still, I can’t resist them.

  7. 7

    Ummm….hello? I’m also feeling a tad left out. Did hostess not get the memo that the groom’s cake at our wedding was a giant hostess cupcake? We should be the first to know of new flavors with this sort of dedication.

    Sadly, I’m not exaggerating about the groom’s cake. It really was a giant hostess cupcake.

  8. 8
    Wendy says:

    I have so many questions! First, I’ve never seen anything other than chocolate and vanilla hostess cupcakes, so the revelation of not one, but TWO more flavours is mind-blowing. Is the cream inside strawberry flavoured or is it still that vaguely marshmallowy one? Is the cake itself flavoured, or is it just the frosting? Gah, only 8 more weeks until I can get back stateside and partake of these delights!

    • 8.1
      Everywhereist says:

      I actually was frightened that inside was going to be some sort of strawberry jelly. This actually was part of the reason I didn’t purchase a pack. But apparently the inside is the same gooey, marshmallowy cream to which we are accustomed. As for the cupcake, with the orange variation, both the cake and the frosting are flavored, so I suspect this is the case with the strawberry flavor, too.

  9. 9
    Philip says:

    I have eaten orange Hostess cupcakes, and I knew without even following your link that you were talking about the movie Vibe (which I haven’t seen, but I have seen Earth Girls Are Easy with Mr. Goldblum and Julie Brown which is another entirely ’80s confection). But I never dreamed that something as wonderful and waxy as strawberry Hostess cupcakes had even been conceived, much less birthed into the world. You have brought joy to my shriveled old heart.

  10. 10
    Tara says:

    Oh, dear. I have been craving strawberry cake for some time now (it’s what my paternal grandmother used to make for my birthday, and I’m pregnant. what?), so this may have just been irresistible to me if I lived in the states right now. Like other commenters, I live abroad, so am shocked by these new products.

    To continue this hijack–Pretzel M&Ms?! I was just reading another blog yesterday where she made pretzel-m&m cookies, and I was so confused…it took me a solid 5 minutes of reading the entry that I realized she made the cookies with this new confection of pretzel m&ms and not chopped up pretzels and m&ms, as in two different things.

  11. 11
    HollyFromHomer says:

    Ugh – Do not get your hopes up for pretzel M&Ms. It took me months to find them, and when I did – disappointing. First of all, the are not mini pretzels as the commercials lead you to believe. Second, I wouldn’t even call the insides pretzels. More like chalk. The strange, gritty, squeeky feeling on my teeth.. just thinking about it now makes me want to throw up. And if that isn’t bed enough, they aren’t salty – like, at all.

    • 11.1
      HollyFromHomer says:

      I fail at typing today – apologies for the typos.

    • 11.2
      kokopuff says:

      You are mistaken…pretzel m&ms are wonderful. Almost as good as the coconut ones. However, in the interest of fairness, I expect a post very soon on the orgasmic properties of snoballs…the pink ones, of course.

  12. 12
    kristin says:

    For science… obviously.

    Loved that line.

  13. 13
    Kitty says:

    We don’t have cupcakes where I live but I bought these at Target on our last trip to Disneyland just to have a snack in case I woke up hungry at 1 am with the horrible jetlag and to me it tasted quite good for a snack! Don’t compare it to a regular bakery cupcake but I actually liked it!
    You have awesome snacks in the US!!! :)

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