Tag Archives: Edward

Before I begin this post, I feel it pertinent to provide a little background on my relationship with my brother. This is what happened after he shared an article I wrote on Facebook:

 

This was a rare moment of non-vitriol. Most of the time, I just tell him that I hate him and that he needs to get a job. Normal sibling stuff.

Ours is built on mutual animosity and resentment that has, over the years, blossomed into even more resentment. Though to my credit, I stopped kicking him the balls, like, three years ago.

This is my favorite photo of me and Edward when we were little:

LOOK HOW GODDAMN CUTE I WAS.

 

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Sometimes, I suck.

I mean, big time. Several of you are reading those lines and thinking, “Oh, yes, I know. I was just about to leave a comment on your blog expressing that EXACT same sentiment.”

Others of you are thinking, “Well, sure, you suck, but who among us does not?” And for your gracious understanding, I thank you.

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A message to my bro, on his (AGE REDACTED) birthday;

Remember how mom used to make us celebrate our birthdays together on the 14th?

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And how we totally hated it? When you put your foot down and declared enough of that – SEPARATE BIRTHDAYS, DAMN IT! – I was completely happy. I didn’t miss celebrating with you at all. Nope. Not one bit.

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So, are you coming to visit again soon? Not like I care. Whatever. Have a happy birthday or something.

Sincerely,
Your sister