I’m in San Diego for a week with my family – I’ll do a proper wrap-up when I get home, after I’m done eating my feelings and drinking away my pain. It is not that I don’t love my family. Really. I do … yeah.

No – it’s simply that traveling is exciting enough, and traveling with my mother is, well … very exciting. Exciting because you might get strip-searched, arrested, or possibly deported. I’m not sure if it’s like this for everyone – I suspect, though, that it may be. I mean, lots of people have moms who travel 8 hours by train to crouch outside George Clooney’s house and contemplate running in when the gate opens (but thankfully don’t). Right?

And lots of moms accidentally carry 8-inch long stainless steel hiking pick-axes in their carry-ons, resulting in a sort of fiasco that their children scarcely remember, because god is merciful and causes us to black out such things. Right?

And lots of moms peer at their fellow passengers, before leaning over and whispering, “That woman over there … she was born a man. I’m sure of it.” Right?

Right?

Moments after this photo was taken, I said, lets go! and headed out the door. In a span of 20 feet, SHE GOT LOST.

Oh, don't smile so innocently. You know full well the trouble you cause.

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Comments (3)

  1. 1
    Philip says:

    Because she is not my mother, I enjoy enjoying your mother’s antics. And yes, I enjoy enjoying them. I fondly remember my “conversation” with her last year which was very spirited and I didn’t even have to say a word. I trust you will make it home without a visit from the feds.

  2. 2
    randfish says:

    I remember that time your Mom almost got us strip searched. Thank God the security guard was trying to hit on her. And then I almost missed the flight because I had to mail the knife back to her home – good times… good times…

  3. 3
    Rachel says:

    Philip, that’s the perfect way to describe it: “enjoy enjoying them.”

    In the meantime, stay strong sister.

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