WTF Weds: Frozen Chickens, Crossing the Road

Posted on
Feb 29, 2012

I know it’s not *technically* Wednesday, but yesterday was Leap Day, so that threw me off schedule. Plus, Davy Jones died, so I spent most of the afternoon listening to “Daydream Believer” and feeling heartbroken. So instead, I bring you WTF Wednesday … on Thursday. 

My friend Mike’s birthday was this week, and Rand and I were wandering around Seattle with a few of the revelers, including the birthday boy himself.

Earlier in the evening, I had been chatting with a fellow party-goer, and told her that I often saw her walking around our neighborhood, but I had neglected to wave. We’ve only hung out a once before, and I figured she wouldn’t recognize me and would just think I was raving lunatic.

Which, to be fair, isn’t entirely off base.

She noted that even if I had waved, she likely wouldn’t have noticed. She tends to walk around with blinders on, not generally paying much attention to her surroundings.

The zombie apocalypse could happen, she explained, and she’d probably get bit because she failed to realize that the guy standing next to her on the sidewalk was a member of the walking dead. And we all nodded knowingly, comforted to learn that we were not alone in worrying about such matters.

It was not surprising, then, that she and I and a few others walked right by the frozen chicken that was sitting (laying?) in the middle of the road on that rainy night. But Mike noticed, and screamed, causing us all to turn and look. (Note to self: Mike is an attentive guy, and handy to have in the event of a zombie apocalypse).

Also pictured: a sock.

And then, down the street, we saw them. One, after another, after another. An entire flock of frozen chickens, strewn across the road.

"CAMILLA!"

We tried to hypothesize what might have happened, but couldn’t figure it out. Had they fallen off the back of a truck? Were they cast-offs from a nearby food bank? Or, perhaps more terrifyingly, HAD THE AVIAN ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE STARTED ALREADY?

Maybe the answer was far simpler than all of that. Maybe, even in death, those chickens were merely trying to make it to the other side.

"... It is a far, far better rest that I go to than I have ever known."

Whatever the case, WTF, Seattle. And happy birthday, Mike. May your year be full of love. And chicken.

P.S. – All photos in this post are courtesy of the fabulous and talented birthday boy, Mike Curato. Recently, Mike won the Portfolio Showcase at the Society of Children’s Writers and Illustrators Winter Conference which is a big deal in the publishing world. I could not be any prouder. He’ll soon be working on a children’s book, and he’s currently blogging

Leave a Comment

  • Most probably, they fell off a truck. But dammit if I can’t make any less than at least 5 jokes about this…

  • Izy

    EW. EW. EW. I have nothing more constructive to say.

  • When I lived in Montreal, the highway that runs through the center of the city came to a standstill during the morning commute because an 18-wheeler turned over and spilled a giant pile of frozen carcasses on the road. It was spectacular. Unfortunately I can’t find a picture of it since this happened back in 2001 or so.

  • There’s going to be a lot of happy stray cats chowing down!

    Coincidentally, I had just posted on a zombie encounter last week! I’d like to think great minds think alike, but my blog can’t hold a candle (or even a raw chicken wing) to your marvelous sense of humor!

    Here it is:
    http://cardiganshirecorgis.blogspot.com/2012/02/wheres-camera-when-you-need-one.html

  • Ruth

    There are always loaves of bread lying on the ground in our neighborhood. We didn’t know why until one day we saw some teenaged boys running down the street, occasionally pausing to throw a loaf of bread at a house or car.

    Stay crazy, Seattle.

  • Nitya

    Have to ask if you have heard of these: http://techland.time.com/2012/03/01/technology-finally-gets-useful-cupcake-atm-opens-in-los-angeles/

    (And this is the first time I have EVER commented online (I almost never update my FB status (gawd, nested brackets)) – testimony to what a big fan I am of your blog.)

    • Everywhereist

      Aww, thanks, Nitya, for coming out of internet anonymity and commenting on the blog! And yes, I just heard about these. A half dozen people or so sent me this link today. I seem to have a reputation. 🙂

  • Abilu

    Did you submit these photos to Sad Stuff on the Street? http://sadstuffonthestreet.com/

  • Vixen

    Ummm, a sock and a frozen chiken in the middle of a road… The proud owner of the sock was eaten by a chicken who was petrified after eating the other sock… One was too much

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