I love all the ways my education has failed me – particularly when it comes to issues of geography or international awareness. In some ways, it’s profoundly awesome. I can sing nearly the entire theme from “The Fall Guy”, but ask me to find any of these on a map, and I’m hopeless.

If you know of these countries, kudos to you. I can already hear an old acquaintance’s voice now, mocking me for not knowing where these places are (which is fine – I can mock her for not washing her hair and having a totally lame blog. So lame, I won’t even link to it in order to mock it). But the real issue, is that these aren’t exactly itsy-bitsy just formed states (that’s another list, entirely). Most of them are in the EU, and there’s no disputing their sovreignty. It’s just … well, I’m an idiot. Without further ado, 10 countries I’ve never heard of.

1. Kyrgyzstan - their national costumes are awesome; everyone looks like extras from “Spies Like Us.”


See? Sometimes my cultural insensitivity comes in handy.

2. Dominica  - as in, not the Dominican Republic.
3. The Union of the Comoros - three official languages, and it’s about half the size of Delaware.
4. Kiribati - colonization is a bitch.
5. Lesotho - Apparently Africa has snow. Don’t say I never taught you nothing.
6. Republic of Nauru - see my note about Kiribati.
7. Tuvalu - rising ocean levels threaten to submerge the country entirely. Shit.
8. Vanuatu - Celebrating 28 years of independence (hey, me too! from the womb, that is)
9. Saint Lucia - They have a food and rum festival. Sometimes I have those in my apartment. Alone.
10. Mauritius - Most depressing claim to fame, ever: was the only known habitat for the now-extinct Dodo bird.
    -
    Plus one to grow on …
11. Mauritiana - 30% of the population is Moor (and thankfully not Mohrish, a population known for prominent foreheads and doucheyness:) 
    

    I dare you to stare at this image for more than 10 seconds and not claw your eyes out.