As I noted last week, Tom Critchlow is currently in Seattle, and our home has never been happier, nor more reminiscent of a Justin Bieber concert (seriously, we’re screaming and running around like pre-pubescent girls. We’re a little crazy right now). After noting that there are a few common, innocent phrases that don’t translate well from English to American-English (and vice-versa), I feel like it might be time to give you all (and Tom, especially) a crash-course on Seattle.
After all, our town is a little quirky. Personally, I happen to find all our little idiosyncrasies adorable, and I can’t understand why anyone would live anywhere else (what’s that? You disagree? Then kindly move along … TO CALIFORNIA.) For those of you who like the Emerald City as much as I do, and have decided to stick around, here are 15 things that you should know about Seattle that will have you blending in like a patchouli-scented, REI-loving, CSA-supporting local.
- It’s called Pike Place Market, after the street. Meaning it was not named for some dude named Pike. It is NOT called Pike’s Place, or Pike Market (calling it that will instantly peg you as a newbie). Though you can call it “The Pike Place Market,” or if you want to be really bad-ass, simply “The Market.”
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- Seattle is located in King County. As in Martin Luther King, Jr. County. This wasn’t originally the case, though – it was first named King County after William R. King, who was vice-president when the Washington Territory was created. He died from tuberculosis after only 45 days in office. In 1986 the King County Council passed a motion to rename King County after Martin Luther King, Jr., instead.
- Nobody has an umbrella. My friend’s mother used to boast that she had lived in Seattle for 30 years and never so much as owned one. Truth be told, it rarely rains hard enough to justify needing an umbrella, so most people just have raincoats. If you want to fit in, tease your local friends the second they pull of these out. Though, if they truly are locals, few of them will.
- Everyone looks pretty darn good. Even those of us with debilitating cake addictions (um …) are fairly healthy up here. Steep hills, cute walking neighborhoods, and lots of nearby hiking and skiing have helped land us a spot as one of the fittest cities in the U.S. for a few years running. Rand and I do our part by choosing not to live within walking distance to a cupcake shop.
- Flannel can be formal wear. Seattle is an incredibly casual town. I’ve seen people wear cargo shorts to weddings up here. That’s what happens when a city is founded by loggers and prostitutes. There are few places in the city that would require you to wear something nicer than a dressy shirt and a pair of jeans. And frankly, I can’t name a single one. (Note: if you do decide to dress up, weird things happen. My old apartment manger inexplicably thought Rand was my lawyer because he was wearing a suit. And I watched my mom walk directly onto the field at a Seahawks game because she was dressed up – no one batted an eye.)
- There’s a little hippie in all of us (that’s what she said.) We’re reasonable, logical folk up here. But there’s still an element of counter-culture in Seattle that’s so prevalent, it’s actually just become the culture. So even the most buttoned-up and formal of us do yoga, shop at farmers’ markets, see an acupuncturist, or smell a little, um organic. And that’s okay.
- There’s no jay-walking. I was recently ridiculed by someone who had just moved to Seattle recently for not blindly walking against the traffic light. Sorry – that’s just not something we do here. Not only will you get a ticket for it (yes, I’m serious), IT IS AGAINST THE RULES. And we like our rules up here.
- We like to shop local. Fortunately, this can include Amazon.com.
- We can get nostalgic over anything. The closing of a peep-show club downtown (link is sooooo NSFW). The demolishing of a Denny’s. A wall covered in gum. What? When a city is as new as ours, the 1990s are historical.
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See? It's ... um ... historical.
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- Seattle leans more than a little to the left. 70% of King County voted for Obama, and more than 80% of Seattle residents did. Seattle is so predominately liberal, it’s actually surprising to see bumper stickers for conservative candidates within city limits.
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- - We know our music. Even those of us who don’t know music know music. We freak out about indie cover bands of already indie bands, fronted by a guy with a ukulele. Even if we aren’t that into music in the first place.
- No one speeds. I remember the time I found myself driving down I-5, and zooming past every single other car on the freeway. Panicked, I checked my speed – and found that I was going 64 miles per hour. In California, that is what they’d call slow. But not up here. Like jay-walking, speed limits are another rule that we just can’t seem to ignore.
- We’re still a little sore about the Sonics. So let’s just not talk about that one, okay?
- It’s okay to talk endlessly about the weather here. We all do. Anywhere else in the world, it seems like a last resort – by the time you’re talking about the weather, you might as well be discussing your uncle’s vasectomy. But in Seattle, the weather is actually interesting. I’ve seen it go from sunny and warm to gray and hailing to sunny and hailing in about 20 minutes.
- The Starbucks in the Pike Place Market isn’t the first Starbucks. It’s just the oldest one. The first Starbucks moved from its original location on Western Avenue to the Pike Place Market (a block or so away) sometime in the 70s. It’s a silly distinction, but think about how much smarmy cleverness you’ll exude when you walk by all the tourists and mumble, “It’s not even the first Starbucks.” That sort of attitude? So Seattle.
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Also, the original Starbucks logo featured a mermaid with boobs.
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So there you go – 15 things you should definitely know about Seattle. Obey them diligently, and you’ll find yourself growing out your facial hair and ignoring Dave Matthews at the Wallingford QFC in no time at all.
I suppose you want to know what all this nonsense is about. You’ve come to the right page...
Everywhereist on flickr
I once jay-walked in Seattle (outside of Kell’s after a long night there) and I got hit by a cab. No joke. Suffice to say I will never again jay-walk, even if I am the only idiot in Southern California who waits for the light. I learned my lesson.
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Everywhereist Reply:
February 28th, 2011 at 11:35 am
Wait, WHAT?
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Bekka Reply:
February 28th, 2011 at 11:43 am
Yeah, I had one too many (or six too many) Irish car bombs one night in college. And I ran across the street to catch a cab, and another cab knocked me over with his mirror and ran over my left ankle. I have scars to prove it, broke my ankle in two places and I now have a metal plate and a bunch of pins in there.
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This is a fabulous list – I love it!
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Firstly, it rains on me *all the time* when I visit Seattle. You’re crazy about the umbrellas (though everyone wearing goretex all the time probably renders it moot).
Secondly, I can live with not speeding, but as a Londoner, the whole “no jaywalking” thing is weird. So weird we don’t even have a word for jaywalking. It’s just called “crossing the road” here. It’s why you are taught to look both ways first.
I love Seattle. You crazy people.
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Everywhereist Reply:
February 28th, 2011 at 11:35 am
We’re not so different from you folks, and you KNOW it.
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You are SO right. Especially about not jaywalking because it’s against the rules! Seattlites + rules = super best friends.
I do carry an umbrella, though – I don’t want my hair to get messed up.
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Everywhereist Reply:
February 28th, 2011 at 11:36 am
Ruth – sometimes I do, too! Shhh! Don’t tell anyone or they’ll kick me out.
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Love the list! I’ve only been to Seattle once, but would LOVE to go back. I was only there for a couple days, Pike Place Market was one of my favorite places! There was always so much going on!
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Thanks for writing a post in my honour! Though I still don’t understand the obsession with not jay-walking. I mean seriously, I have eyes, I should be trusted to use them before I cross the road. Waiting on the pavement by the side of an empty road is just ridiculous. Especially since all your roads are straight lines and your cars are as big as elephants so it’s easy to see if there’s anything coming.
I’ve already checked out the market – it’s rad. I may have to sell a kidney to afford it though. You’re sure there isn’t like a secret handshake locals can use to get the fish any cheaper?
As for music – you know I love music and I’m well up for seeing some gigs while I’m in town if you can recommend something?
PS – yes I did use honour and pavement in this comment. What of it?
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Oh, I jaywalk all the time down in Belltown. You can take the boy out of Boston, etc.
And, if I may add one more to your list: Nordstrom. It’s not possessive.
Diva out!
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Everywhereist Reply:
March 1st, 2011 at 1:00 pm
But I actually say “Nordstrom’s”! Hell, I occasionally say, “Nordie’s.” I think it’s acceptable, because a Google search justifies my usage of the term (search for “Nordie’s,” and the first result is Nordstrom.)
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Philip Reply:
March 1st, 2011 at 1:08 pm
Harumph.
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It only works because Nordstrom the store is owned by the Nordstrom family… Hence, if we go to the “Nordstrom’s” (possessive), we’re going to the place they own – Nordstrom. This wouldn’t work for the Market because Pike doesn’t own it.
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Everywhereist Reply:
March 2nd, 2011 at 9:44 am
I love that you always have my back.
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Even though I left the Emerald City for a move to Spain, I’m still so nostalgic about all of its eccentricities. Great post!
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Excellent list. I lived in Seattle for 8 years, have been away for 7 and visit several times a year. But there are things about Seattle you don’t realize until you move away. Here’s my addendum to your list…
Seattleites are passive/aggressive. This is somewhat surprising considering the city’s transplant population. On the East Coast, if you piss someone off, they yell at you and then they’re over it. In Seattle, if you annoy someone, you will never know about it because they are too polite to confront you.
People with big personalities are generally looked upon with suspicion in Seattle. There are small pockets of unique people, like Seattle’s amazing burlesque community, but compared to culturally-rich NYC or the fantastic characters in the South, Seattle is relatively milk-toast.
Almost everyone you meet in Seattle is affiliated in some way with the tech industry. You can’t sneeze in a crowded elevator and not hit someone who did time at Microsoft. So when you socialize with architects or a writer-who-has-never-been-a-tech-writer you feel like you scored in the Cool Friend department.
This is an extreme sport city (although I’m told not as extreme as Boulder). People don’t just ski, they get dropped off on top of mountains by helicopters. People go to Moab to bike. As for hiking, Mt. Rainier is so 2003. It’s all about Annapurna, baby. As a result, it’s great city for gear cast-offs. (Second Ascent in Ballard).
Perhaps it’s the rain, but women in Seattle don’t seem to make much of an attempt at beautifying themselves. It’s all about natural beauty. All the vanity is in Bellevue.
Seattle is hands down the most beautiful city in the country and not because of its architecture. The beauty lies in the location. Seattle is very hilly and those hills provide amazing views of the many different bodies of water that surround the city. The rain rewards the city with lush carpets of grass. Mt. Rainier pops its head out on beautiful days, reminding you of why you moved here in the first place.
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Megan Reply:
September 11th, 2012 at 8:10 am
It is the rain and, for me, the lack of humidity! Coming from Oklahoma where the summer brings a whopping 115 degrees and a humidity index similar to Hell, my hair did not know what to do. Once you realize that there is no way to force it into anything managable, you relax. I think I can pay half the rent with the money I used to spend on anti-frizz products.
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Spot on. Wrapping my arms around my torso and completely hugging myself for moving here. Ok, that’s a little creepy, but you get the idea.
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Sembra un po’ come Vienna – dove vivo io adesso. Molto divertente il tuo blog, complimenti! Ciao
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Everywhereist Reply:
June 9th, 2011 at 8:26 am
Mille grazie, Silvia. Non ho mai stato a Vienna – forse e un po come Seattle!
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Moving to Seattle area at the beginning of 2012. Anything else I need to know about not looking like a newbie. I want to look and act like a local people. My husband calls me the only barefoot hippie left in the Midwest and I’m really looking forward to the counter-culture… And flannel!
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Everywhereist Reply:
September 27th, 2011 at 3:47 pm
You are a midwest hippie? You are going to fit in just fine here. I promise.
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Mitch Reply:
September 28th, 2011 at 6:33 pm
I’m planning to relocate to Seattle in early 2012 as well. I visited this summer and loved the Pacific Northwest. From the advice posted here I should fit in quite nicely. Just hoping to land a few job interviews at UW…and a job offer would be nice too. It’s a long way to move without a job offer, but I feel like Seattle is the right match for me.
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Can you please tell me how to survive the Seattle Freeze?
I’m a Midwestern hippie transplant. I’ve been here for a year with my husband. I was drawn to this city thinking I’d love it, that I’d get fit(ter), and flourish. Since moving here I’ve been ridiculously lonely, down-trodden, out-of-place, and I’ve gained more weight than ever because I’m so stressed by everything else.
I really love a lot of things about this place, and I want to end this feeling that the move was one of the most expensive mistakes I’ll ever make.
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Everywhereist Reply:
February 22nd, 2012 at 10:23 am
Oh, no! Chelsea, this comment breaks my heart.
Feel free to email me at contact(at)everywhereist.com if you want to talk. It might not just be the Seattle freeze – it might be the weather and vitamin D deficiency that’s getting you down. 
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crazy'boutSeattle Reply:
August 28th, 2012 at 9:24 am
One word: Couchsurfers
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Jeremy Reply:
August 28th, 2012 at 9:16 am
It took me almost two years before I really started to make friends. Hang in there. Also, I tended to make friends with other transplants, so look for them
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#1. Amen, and amen.
The whole list is beautiful, really. This needs to be provided in handy tourist packets that also include coupons for Starbucks and a ticket for a ride on the SLUT.
Unfortunately, the Seattle Freeze is real. I wish that it weren’t, and I don’t really know where it comes from, but all of the transplants I know have experienced it at some point and I’ve even caught myself doing it a time or two. We are, it seems, a tough crowd…
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The highway’s systems are called Interstate 5, 405, State route 99 Ect…Not the 5, the 405, the 99!!
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I’m thinking about moving up there, whats a good neighborhood to move to?
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Everywhereist Reply:
November 14th, 2012 at 11:27 pm
So many neighborhoods here are great! I like Wallingford, Fremont, Capitol Hill, Ballard … really, you should just plan a visit and scope a couple of places out.
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You hit everything dead on. Nice list! Makes me sad to move away
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You make Seattle sound like a horrible place to live.
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No information about what you published makes me want to live/visit Seattle, and I actually find Seattle a one of the most beautiful cities in the states.
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Everywhereist Reply:
February 26th, 2013 at 5:23 pm
Wow. You sound AWESOME. If you come to town, let’s be BEST FRIENDS, okay? Besties. For life.
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Love the list. My wife and I are planning a move to Seattle this year. We live in the Deep South and we are growing tired of the culture. We made a visit to Seattle last year and despite the weather, we both found it to be beautiful. I have never heard of the “Seattle Freeze” before. Maybe this could be explained a little further. We look forward to getting there but like so many other people, we are trying to figure out the best place for us to live. There are so many suburbs to choose from and we have found little guidance on the web. Maybe someone can point us in the right direction. I will probably be working in Kent. Yes, I have read all about Kent but the job is a good one. So where would be a good place to look for housing?
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For being so “liberal”, why don’t people in Seattle have a sense of humor? I moved up from L.A. where I can walk into “any” establishment and have pretty much an instant fun and funny rapport with whomever is behind the counter, up here not so much. I guess it goes back to Seattle and those “rules” and comedy is all about breaking rules. Also being “liberal” is kinda about breaking rules also…so what gives?
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I visited Seattle in May 2010 and fell in love with the city. I’ve been obsessed with wanting to relocate from Boston to Seattle, but am having trouble finding a job out there since I don’t have a WA address to use on my resume. I’m extremely jealous of all of you that get to live there. If you have any tips on how to find a job in Seattle without living there let me know. I actually don’t know anyone that lives in WA state, otherwise I’d ask them if I could use their address on my resume.
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I moved to Seattle from Northern California a little less than a year ago and I think this list is pretty perfect. Aside from my irritation with the speed at which people drive (and let’s be honest, I should most definitely be slowing down….) I am overall having a love affair with this beautiful city. It’s clean, the food is to die for, and on a sunny day there’s no where else in the world I’d rather be. I was, however, told about the whole umbrella=tourist thing and yet I see a ton of people on rainy days with umbrellas (definitely locals as we’re all on the way to the bus together). It’s usually too windy to use one effectively and when the mist is shooting at your face sideways, it’s really a lost cause
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SO TRUE!! Every last word. I would never live anywhere else. Besides. As soon as it gets into the mid and upper 70ºs, I am either in my tank top and shorts, desperately trying to cool myself off, or swimming.
I saw a comment asking WHY umbrellas are never used by true seattleites. Because using one will brand you as a wimp. It never rains very hard, and even when it does, you are only going to dash out to the car, anyways. You’re not Salt nor Sugar, you won’t melt. And personally, I love the rain. I would go to the trouble of fishing out my boots and finding my raincoat just to take a walk in the rain. Though with my luck, the rain would have stopped by then.
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