I’m going to be in San Diego, California for ten days starting on Monday.

What could possibly tear me away from the perpetual rain and cold that is Seattle in November, you ask? My dear beloved Auntie P. needs me.

She always looks this put together. Always.

She always looks this put together. It's pretty humbling, actually.

My aunt and I have always been close, and in the last few weeks, she’s had a rough go of it. First, an unfortunate trip on one of the crooked sidewalk tiles in Ocean Beach left her with a broken shoulder. Then her house caught on fire after a electrical shortage in her garage. No one was hurt, but an over-taxed fire department took 20 minutes to get to her house (thanks, California budget cuts!). And then, in an equally crappy twist of fate, the insurance company sent a cleaning crew to clean up after the fire, and Auntie P. slipped on the freshly-waxed floors, breaking her leg and dislocating her kneecap.

All of this happened in about two weeks’ time.

I talked to my aunt last week and asked her how she was doing.

“Oh, fine,” she said, as though it were no big deal.

I told her how impressed I was with her positive attitude.

“Well, If I thought I could get better faster by complaining, I would!” she said, laughing. Either she’s on some powerful pain-killers, or my aunt is awesome. I suspect it’s a little of both.

For the past two weeks, my mom has been on duty, taking care of her sister and minding her house for her. On Monday, I’m heading down to give her a hand. I usually love going to see my Auntie, but I’m kind of on edge about this visit – I’m worried about the most random things, mostly because I’ve never been in a position to take care of anyone.

What if she doesn’t like my cooking? What if I do a terrible job at cleaning her house? What if I make her watch crappy movies or programs that she hates? Will she be okay if I leave for a couple hours to go to Bikram, or will she think I’ve gone to some sort of sweaty cult and OHMYGOD what if she tells MY MOM and then MY MOM and my AUNT will think I’m in a SWEAT-CULT, WHATEVER THAT IS?

These are things that are worrying me. They are ridiculous things to worry about. Instead, I should focus on the magic that is Ocean Beach and my aunt’s house. Magic like …

Dogs scratching their asses on hardwood floors!

This went on for hours.

This went on for hours.

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Stores that are just as excited about their cheese as I am!

CHEESE!

CHEESE!

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Bins of scary-ass toys!

Im pretty sure this scene was cut from The Shining.

I'm pretty sure this scene was cut from "The Shining."

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Japanese toilet seats that wash your bum. No, really:

Do not ask my brother what he thinks of the seat. He likes it WAAAAY too much. Its wrong.

Do not ask my brother what he thinks of the seat. He likes it WAAAAY too much. It's wrong.

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MOPPETS!

Those are totally my sunglasses.

Those are totally my sunglasses.

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Uncles who come across as total badasses …

He got this when he was 14.

He got this when he was 14.

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But then …

Grandkids got em whipped.

Grandkids got 'em whipped.

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Inadvertently hilarious restaurant names:

Heh heh heh.

Heh heh heh.

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Cup after cup after cup of English tea:

This was like, their fifth pot of the day, and it wasnt yet noon.

This was like, their fifth pot of the day, and it wasn't yet noon.

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And, of course …

Everyone together: Awwwwwwwwww.

Everyone together: "Awwwwwwwwww."

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So that’s the plan for the next week and half, folks. Wish me luck. I will try to have some posts up for the time I’m away, and I’m sincerely hoping I’ll be able to blog while I’m down there, but I really have no idea if that will work or not. I might be too inundated with trying to keep the dog from scratching his ass on my foot and making hourly pots of tea. But I will do my best.

Full list of categories:  Random Musings
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Comments (10)

  1. 1

    Good luck! Here’s a tip: bring a really good book and read to her. Older people LOVE it when someone reads to them. She’ll never forget it. And it will probably put her to sleep, leaving you free to sneak off to Bikram with no one being the wiser. :)

  2. 2
    Geraldine says:

    She might think I’d lost my mind if I tried that. And for the love of pete, don’t describe her as “older” unless you want her to hobble over and kick your ass. :) But it’s a very sweet suggestion. On someone who didn’t, say, pick fights with neocons (and win), it might work.

  3. 3

    Oh my god! That pho shop stole my name! My pho cart was supposed to be called “The Pho King Cart” and we’d wander the streets of Seattle with a GPS, but you could always find us by going to http://www.WhereIsThePhoKingCart.com. Oh no, dreams are slashed. I’ll have to find a new calling. Maybe I’ll rent out goats. Le sigh.

  4. 4
    Geraldine says:

    @GastroGnome – Where to begin. First off, we might be separated at birth, because I, too, am fond of saying “le sigh.” Secondly, register than domain, like, immediately. And thirdly, there’s not reason why you can’t have success with your own “Pho King”. I promise I won’t tell a soul in Seattle about the place down in California. I mean, more so than I already have via the blog.

  5. 5
    Deanna says:

    CHEESE! should always be written in caps with an exclamation. Good CHEESE! deserves reverence, dammit.

  6. 6
    Candice says:

    Have fun, your aunt wil love you no matter what you do for her, and holy crap CHEESE!

  7. 7
    Philip says:

    Heaven is a Japanese toilet. The modern kind. Not the weird old-fashioned kind that look like a slipper and you can’t figure out how to use it.

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