This is how it begins.

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I have a bladder the size of a chipmunk’s.

No, no – stop praising me on how amazing this is. How it’s so ladylike and really quite Hollywood to have a bladder so svelte and small. That Angelina’s or Gwyneth’s is probably barely bigger than my own.

Because despite how glamorous it sounds, let me tell you: having an itsy-bitsy bladder is NOT as amazing as movies and TV would have you believe. It means that much of my and Rand’s travels are interrupted with side-quests to find toilets. That before we go anywhere – a flight, a drive, a short walk, or even if we are simply moving from the dining room to the living room – I need to run to the bathroom.

“Hold on a sec, babe, I have to pee,” is a phrase uttered in our house even more often than “Dear god woman what is wrong with you?” (-Rand) and “I’m pretty sure that idea will get you arrested.” (-also Rand)

As such, I take note of places that offer wonderful restrooms. High-end department stores are usual great, as are giant fancy hotel chains (Hilton, Hyatt, etc.) But there are perilously few such places in downtown Munich. The square is full of biergartens and open-air cares, all free of toilets. It’s a recipe for a disaster if one has a wee bladder.

Fear not, though: I found a great place to pee in Munich.

It’s even in an actual bathroom. And it is lovely and clean. I didn’t take any actual photos of it or its patrons (See the “arrested” quote from Rand, above), but I can tell you precisely where it is.

If you are looking at the Rathaus – the giant town hall in the center of Munich that houses the glockenspiel – you will see an information office somewhere near the center of it.

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Don’t go in.

Instead, you will see a small entryway just to to the left of it. Walk through there.

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The entryway will lead to a small interior courtyard.

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On the right, under a dark overhang, you will find the best public bathroom in downtown Munich.

This is where the gods would pee, if they needed to pee. But they don't. Because they're gods.

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Be warned: it will cost you. Half a Euro, to be exact (bring change – you can’t get through the turnstile without it).  But the extravagance is worth it, it really is. Inside, you will find a brilliant white bathroom, smelling strongly of disinfectant and faintly of flowers, with smooth tiles, and stalls well-stocked with toilet paper.

Do your business, feeling somewhat like royalty (for surely this is how they must urinate).

Tip the dutiful attendant, if you have any change left. And then head off to enjoy the rest of Munich, for at least a good twenty minutes (or whenever it is that you will need to pee again).

Or just wait until Oktoberfest and pee wherever the heck you want.

Full list of categories:  Advice » City Guide » Somewhat Useful Info
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Comments (19)

  1. 1

    Not surprising, to have Munich hide a restroom in an oh-so-subtle location…I’ll bear in mind as I have a family member that shares theTtiny Bladder Syndrome, so we need map out any locale and note where it is before we begin touring…I think there are such books similar to “Toilets for Dummies,” specific to cities for just our kind of people.

    Tho’ thoroughly useful information…and I used to think it was hard even finding the plunger in these places–so much so that I often made a game of it, as in “Where do you think it is?” (asked of a small child of mine) But you’ve topped it with “Where’s the rest room, itself.”

  2. 2
    Christina C says:

    I too suffer from the svelte bladder syndrome. I always scope out the closest bathroom and know where the best ones are located. I always thank Starbucks when traveling through the US b/c you know there is one every 3 blocks in NYC. Europe is another challenge all together. Thanks for the heads up on Munich :-)

  3. 3

    Omg, I feel exactly the same way – add in a phobia for public bathrooms and it all spells trouble. I found my fave bathroom in NYC Soho if you ever find yourself in need of peeing – and you can get a cupcake all at the same time! http://www.300threads.com/2012/04/18/georgetown-cupcakes-soho-a-pretty-place-to-pee/

  4. 4
    Gaelyn says:

    Thank goodness I have a large bladder. However, I still scope out where the bathrooms are because I am a terrible squatter.

    I found the best bathroom in Frankfurt at the Art Museum, complete with a video on the stall floor. Middle stall that is.

  5. 5
    Rhammania says:

    I have a svelte bladder and its driving me crazy! I always have to go to toilets everywhere I go (T_T”)..
    Where to pee? Agree with Mellor, STARBUCKS

  6. 6
    Rhammania says:

    I mean Agree with Christina

  7. 7
    Emily McGee says:

    My husband’s parents often brag about living in a town in Scotland with award winning public bathrooms. We even took a walk specifically to visit these bathrooms, and it’s true, they were amazing. They even had fresh flowers by the sink.

  8. 8

    There’s nothing worse than having to pay to use a restroom that isn’t even clean. At least you know where your money went… in this case, not down the toilet.

  9. 9
    Mcakes says:

    Every restaurant / coffee place in Germany has a bathroom. You just have to be bold enough to walk straight through the seating area (the quicker you walk and the more determined you look, the more unlikely it is that a waiter stops you [which never happens anyway]). Also, if they have a seating area outside, they’ll just assume you’re a guest sitting outside – give your hubby all your things to hold on to (coat, bag etc.) to be more pursuasive. But in general, they will allow you to use the bathroom, even if you didn’t eat there, just ask. Unless you’re a group of 20, that is.

  10. 10
    kuroama says:

    If you don’t want to pay but like a clean toilette I can recommend the one at Rischart’s. The blue-white bakery just on the other side of Marienplatz. If you are in front of the Rathaus it is to the right side behind you. Also a good place to pee is the Mc Donalds toilet at Karlsplatz Stachus. It is free but I usually leave some change because it is really clean. ;) so have a nice pee ;)

  11. 11
    Lisa Baker says:

    I too have a small bladder. I used a bathroom in the Haufbrau House while in Munich, but totally appreciate the info here. The nicest bathroom I’ve ever seen was in Evian, France. It was stunning and complete with various perfumes and soaps you could sample. I took a picture of it. The worst bathroom I’ve ever seen was also in France. It was a public highway bathroom that was a white drainage system..basically a hole in the floor. No seat, no handle to hold on to…it was terrifying! Oddly, I took a picture of that too. lol

  12. 12
    ilse says:

    I am beginning to suffer from old-lady-bladder and thank you from the bottom of my heart for this tip.
    I live in Munich and never knew!
    Did you also know that in this very courtyard is the municipal canteen where anyone can eat quite cheaply and reasonably well?
    May be all these civil servants are the gods who pee in there?

  13. 13
    kokopuff says:

    Get the Charmin app “SitorSquat”…I think it works overseas…tells you where the clean bathrooms are, via your phone.

  14. 14
    Monika says:

    Since I have the same “ladylike” problem like you, I always look out for nice pee-places! The best public-restroom I have ever been to (I believe) was the one at Harrod´s in London.
    It was soo pretty and clean and it seemed like half of the so luxury stuff they are selling (like perfumes, make-up, creams) was actually laid out in the restroom for extensive testing!!! I def. recommend it :) !!

  15. 15
    click here says:

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  16. 16
    Dana Newman says:

    :D happy to have found your blog!! I live in Munich and didn’t even know of this godly bathroom…I usually just go into the Ludwig Beck on the corner (high end department store, like you suggested as well)

  17. 17
    Jillian says:

    All I can say is thank you. We would compete for the world’s smallest bladder. I am going in October so plan on checking out this new sightseeing stop!

  18. 18

    Completely understand the small bladder problem. Another great place to pee for free is in the Hofbrauhaus! :D

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