Bavarian food doesn’t f#ck around.

Bavarian food is the guy at the gym in the tiny muscle tee who’s lifting weights so heavy, the veins in his neck and head (and other parts of the body that you didn’t even know HAD veins) start to pop out.

Bavaria‘s cuisine is a monster truck. It crumples the delicate-by-comparison culinary offerings of Spain, Italy, and France like tiny little Fiats and Peugots in its path.

Do you want to eat Bavarian food? OF COURSE YOU DO. It is rich and doughy and filling and is the only thing on the planet that can soak up German beer. Every other fare will simply hide in the corner of your stomach, petrified at the sheer awesomeness of the brew that resides in there with it, and it will never get digested.

In short: if you don’t eat Bavarian food while in Germany, you could die. Here are some of my favorites. They will turn your tastebuds into receptors of SHEER ECSTASY.




Have you ever had an enormous pretzel? I’m not talking about the ones you get at the mall or the movie theater, sprinkled with cinnamon sugar. Those aren’t pretzels. Those are doughnuts that took a yoga class.

Real Bavarian pretzels are hearty, doughy twists of bravado, studded with salt. They are meals unto themselves. They are not served in delicate little paper sleeves. They are handed over in giant wooden baskets along with a few steins of beer and a grunt. Tear into one with your bare teeth and suddenly, you will be able to speak German. Try it.



Bavarians are so badass, they eat sausage for breakfast. And I don’t mean those little tiny breakfast sausages that we get here in the states. No. They go for these:


That is a weisswurst (literally, “white sausage”) – made from ground up pork veal and bacon. There are many smart-ass remarks to be made here, but since I am a lady, I will leave them up to you. (Okay, fine, here’s one: “GERMANS DO IT WITH BIGGER SAUSAGES.”)

You pair them with the aforementioned pretzel, and maybe a dab of sweet mustard.


And then you run outside and pull a plow across a field in the middle of winter because THIS IS the breakfast of champions, no matter what Wheaties tries to claim.



The Germans have a dish called schweinshaxe that is particularly popular in Bavaria. It is a roasted pig knuckle, and it will punch you in the mouth with its gastronomical awesomeness.

And yes, it often comes to the table with a knife sticking out of it.


The still-attached skin on the outside of the schweinshaxe becomes a crackly and delicious pork rind, while the meat becomes fall-off-the-bone tender. It comes with a enormous potato dumpling, which probably weighs somewhere between 5-10 pounds.

Don’t ignore the dumpling. It will help you to soak up the delicious pork juice that has filled the bottom of your plate. It is nectar of the gods. Drink it, and you will LIVE FOREVER. Probably.




Germans can schnitzel the hell out of anything. First, they take a slab of meat and hammer it flat.

That’s right: they are so damn badass, they beat their food after it’s dead.

Then they batter dip and fry it up, because if there’s one thing that makes hammered meat even better, it’s a crisp, golden crust.

I mean, it’s like fried chicken – which is already one of the greatest things in the world – with an EVEN BETTER MEAT (usually veal, sometimes pork). You can ask for no more out of life.



Noodles are wimpy. You can’t feed a noodle to a German, because if you do you run the risk that they will scream at you IN GERMAN and it will be the most terrifying thing you have EVER encountered.

Instead of noodles, they have spaetzle, which are little chewy dumplings of HELL YES. They are often served with cheese and fried shallots on top, and if you are very lucky you can even get them with bacon.


But perhaps you should just stay away, because they will ruin you. The next time you have mac n’ cheese, you may find yourself screaming at how pathetic they are in compared to spaetzle.

“NEIN!” you will holler at the top of your lungs. “Ich möchte Spätzle!” (Which in and of itself will be amazing, because you didn’t realize you spoke German. THANK YOU, PRETZEL.)

And everyone who hears you will run in fear, taking their weakling noodles with them.



You know who are badasses? Pirates. Pirates are totally badass.

But even pirates can’t stand up to scurvy. You know what can? Sauerkraut.


I hated this stuff as a kid, but that’s because I had only known what we have in the states – a nasty, soggy, shredded concoction that is plopped on top of hot dogs. But German sauerkraut laughs at that impostor-sauerkraut’s face.

It is vinegary and salty and crisp, studded with rye seeds. Eat it, and your immune system will become the Hulk. This is why German people live to an average age of 165, and why their children wrestle bears at summer camp.



And this is just the cake that they had at Starbucks. IMAGINE WHAT BAKERIES HAVE TO OFFER.


In recent years, there’s been a culinary trend toward itsy-bitsy, tiny little hand-crafted desserts. I say screw that. So does much of the country of Germany. Cakes in this part of the world are ginormous.

It doesn’t matter what kind you get: order a slice, and be prepared for a piece of cake the size of a child’s head. Two servers are required to carry it out, and it will contain enough sugar to put an elephant into a diabetic coma. Don’t ask a friend to split it with you – that’s the coward’s way out.


That’s it. My favorite Bavarian (/German) foods. If you eat them, you will grow hair on your chest and you will never need to call a tow truck because if your car breaks down you will be able to PUSH IT HOME. Gender equality being what it is, I’d say that’s a pretty desirable outcome for any man or woman.


Full list of categories:  City Guide » Food » Rants and Raves » Top Ten

Comments (268)

  1. 1

    I LOVE Bavarian food. Big sausage? Good. Fried veal? Good. Salty pretzels? Good. I even love the cheesy touristy heart-shaped cookies, for heaven’s sake.

    • 1.1
      Anna says:

      They might be cheesy, but their not touristy at all. I’m German and we sure buy them. Mostly old couples do, or children for their mums or boyfriends for their girlfriends. All in full awareness, that no matter how cheesy they are, the aforementioned recipients will still be happy about such an old-fashioned, traditional way of expressing your feelings :) Plus, you can make them write whatever you want on there!
      P.S.: No-one eats them though, since they never go bad, people keep them as a souvenir. We got normal Lebkuchen that’s not very pretty, so if someone actually likes the taste (unusual, but ok) they eat those.

      • 1.1.1
        someguy says:

        lebkuchen is the greatest thing ever :D (to eat)

      • 1.1.2
        Christoph says:

        Can you even eat the chessy Lebkuchen Herzen? ;) I have two or three that I got as present from girlfriends when I was like 13 to 15 (now 32) and I think even when there are fresh one would break all teeth trying to take a bite. Now the would kill the most hulk like German within a heart beat… I am sure of this! ;)

        Oh and don’t get them wet. Then they can actually turn into fuzzy Gremlins. ;)

        Other Lebkuchen (ginger bread just more awesome!) on the other hand…. gimme more!

          Doris says:

          Get E.Otto Schmidt lebkuchen from Nurenburg. Simply the best. They can send it or there are a few here stateside you can order from. The ones in the tin chest, the big xmas tin, are my Christmas pressent every year.

  2. 2
    Sarah says:

    I had real schnitzel for the first time in April during our trip to Vienna and couldn’t agree with you more — especially the veal ones.

    I’ll leave the pig knuckles for you, though, thank you very much. :)

  3. 3
    beckyk says:

    oh my word, I am soooo hungry for Spaetzle! I married a German from the north of Bavaria and you’ve nailed the soul of Bavarian awesomeness!

    • 3.1
      Wildsau says:

      North of Bavaria means he’s probably from Frankonia. And Fränkisch food is even MORE awesome! Hail to the “Schäuferle mit Kloß”!!!

      • 3.1.1
        Johannes says:

        And we shouldn’t forget the Franconian beer…

      • 3.1.2
        Mitch says:

        Franken is NOT a part of Bavaria… at least this is what people from Upper Bavaria and Lower Bavaria say.

      • 3.1.3
        Markus says:

        I am from Hamburg and to us northern folks “North of Bavaria” would mean something like “just below Hannover”, because there’s northern Germany and everything else is Bavaria. That border is also known as the “Weisswurst Equator” :-)

        This article is absolutely hilarious, by the way – I ROFL’d all the way :-)

          Kat says:

          man- the weisswurst equator is the river Donau! everything above that is Prussia! greetings from Munich! :)

          Beccy says:

          The river Donau is the “Weißwurstäquator”, because traditionally thw sausages have to be produced in Munich and they have to be eaten until 12 a.m. In the old times it simply wasn’t possible to export the Weißwurst farer than to the Donau without risking them getting uninjoyable.

    • 3.2
      Tarvios says:

      Thank god I’m from Frankonia. I love this article, thank you very much, you made my day :)

    • 3.3
      I says:

      The capital of Spätzle is Schwaben and not Bavaria. ;)

      • 3.3.1
        Bumu says:

        Which again is, unfortunately, a part of bavaria ;)

          rainer says:

          which it is not … what a fool can state that schwaben is a part of bavaria …?!?!?? take care if you´ll say that in schwaben or bavara viceversa …

          Chris says:

          Noooooooooo! Schwaben is a part of BadenWürttemberg!!! Spätzle is not an original bavarian food

          Nabend1401 says:

          A tiny part of it may lie in Bavaria, but no, it’s not Bavaria.

          L says:

          Württemberg would disagree.

          K says:

          EXCUSE ME?

          pushit says:

          it is – and it is not.
          there’s a much bigger region, called Schwaben, in Baden-Württemberg. and that’s where the SPAETZLE are from and where their capital is.

          Wolpertinger says:


          Schwaben is his own state. We only go near the border to point and laugh at the puny bavarians..And then we go further south and point and laugh at Italy as well. Than we CARRY our cars home and eat more Spätzle!!

          `nuff said. But thanks for liking our food.Eat more of it and you will get big and strong ;-)

          Stefan says:

          LOL. No, it isn’t.
          Schwaben is part of Baden-Württemberg, another German state like Bavaria. Also south Germany, but west of Bavaria.

          I’m from North Rhine-Westphalia (middle west Germany), and we also have some awesome foods here, for example “Himmel und Erde” (Heaven & Earth), a delicious mix of apple and potato purree. It is usually served with roasted onions and bratwurst or, even better, a kind of black pudding.

    • 3.4
      bigga says:

      the most brollant article i´ve ever read! wow, wow, wow…
      coming from bavaria (schwaben), i toured with a english band for many years all over the planet, i had to suffer from a uge lack of knowledge regarding the bavarian culture.. all they knew was “lederhosen”…
      i just wanted to recomend on top of this amazing, brillant and hardcore-eloquent food-list the famous “Leberknödelsuppe” – liver-dumpling-soup, it saved already many lives, including mine…

      please come back and write more about our food!

  4. 4
    Lisa says:

    I love your list! I would also add Kaiserschmarrn because it is a really word fun to say and only really tough people would shred their pancakes before serving them.

    • 4.1
      dasPossum says:

      I agree, but unfortunatly, only the Austrians are that tough. The Germans, mostliy kids, slaughter their Pfannkuchen on their plate.

    • 4.2
      Jan says:

      Kaiserschmarrn is an Austrian meal, not an German!
      Lets told you this from a German ;)

    • 4.3
      tobsen says:

      Kaiserschmarrn is great – but it’s austrian, not bavarian.
      Spaetzle aren’t bavarian, too.

      But, great list :)

      • 4.3.1
        Everywhereist says:

        This is what everyone is telling me – Spaetzle are actually Swabian? At any rate, if you are an American in Bavaria, I still say you should eat some spaetzle while you are there – don’t you agree? :)

          Dom says:

          Well … it’s a bit complicated.
          Let me tell you about a little Bundesland (the districts/counties in Germany, I’m sure you know that) called Baden-Württemberg. It consists of (SURPRISE!) Baden and Württemberg.
          Württemberg is inhabited by the Swabians. Baden by the “Badner”. They usually don’t like each other very much (some of them would also like to build a wall such as between West and East Germany years ago!). Both argue about who invented the Spätzle. I’m from Baden, so I’m quite sure Spätzle are not Swabian, but Badish!
          I’m glad you enjoyed Germany, though! Bavaria is great, but psshh: Swabians are NOT COOL!


          FrankMunich says:

          Bavarian Spätzle are called Spatzn… There are claims from us Bavarians, as well from the swabians….

          frankonia says:

          the ones you show in the picture are actually “Knöpfle”, the Bavarian version of Spätzle. @FrankMunich:up here in Frankonia, my mother-in-law used to make “spatzn” a different way, much bigger, like dumplings a little out of shape (my family call them “Mehlklöß´),

          Din says:

          Wrong again, we got “Swabians” (Schwaben) in Bavaria. The bavarian swabians (try to say it 10 times quickly!) –> those folks are more cultivated in a bavarian view and speak more understandable than their “Baden-Württemberg”-relatives.

    • 4.4
      Wotanhund says:

      Spaetzle are swabian, even wikipedia sez that. yes, there are some bavarians who claim otherwise. however, go to a supermarket and buy a pack of prefab spaetzle – and they all will advertise them with “Original schwäbische Spätzle” .

      Also, Schnitzel is not Bavarian, but from Austria. And I really have a problem calling “cake” Bavarian, I’m sorry…

      • 4.4.1
        Nabend1401 says:

        Coem on, give the American a break… ;-) Most of it is Bavarian, some is from different parts of Germany or Austria, but you can get this stuff everywhere here, so it’s all good…

        Next time, go to Northern Germany and see what they do with fish and seafood. It’s Awesome!

      • 4.4.2
        eppleton says:

        You were damn right to refer to Spaetzle as a bavarian dish:

        Historic Swabia is now divided in different parts. Parts of it belong to Bavaria:

        “Swabia (German: Schwaben) is one of the seven administrative regions of Bavaria, Germany. “( ) Other parts are now part of upper Bavaria (e.g. Neuburg a.d. Donau).

        I grew up in that region as a bavarian Swabian. The Spaetzle in your picture are the ones preferred in that region. The Spätzle in Baden-Würtenberg are much more noodel-like.

        BTW, Swabians are not so popular in Bavaria, in most parts of Bavaria “Schwaben” is a synonym for cockroaches :-)

      • 4.4.3
        Bavaria says:

        Schwabing is in Munich… which is in Bavaria. Austrians speak a bavarian dialect, many of them call themselves bavarian. “Sez” is spelled “says.”

          Verena says:

          We do not speak a bavarian dialect and we DEFINITELY do not call ourselves bavarian!

          Micha says:

          The former duchy of Swabia was a part of the Allemanic alliance that threw the Romans out of Germany at Teutoburger Wald. That alliance also included people groups who are now parts of Swizerland and France. They historically have never gotten along very well with Bavaria which surfaced about 4 centuries after Swabians migrated to the black forest region in the 1st century. Any Swabian that calls himself bavarian only does so in a modern context because parts of the Swabian ethnic group are located in former Swabian regions now controlled by Bavaria

  5. 5
    Denise says:

    “Those aren’t pretzels. Those are doughnuts that took a yoga class.” This made my morning.

  6. 6
    Irina says:

    Very funny and informative post. Suggestion… This entire post should be made into a mini-documentary voiced by the Dos Equis man.

  7. 7
    Naomi says:

    My other half is a full blooded German – his mother and grandmother (god bless them) spoke perfect German until the day they left this earth. In the 14 + years I have been in the family, I have eaten so much of this wonderful food you mentioned that my waist line has jumped up a bit. His mother actually made spaetzle and potato dumplings from scratch, not to mention many other german dishes. Needless to say I now cook many of these foods from her recipes. I don’t think the waist line will take a nose dive anytime soon!! Loved this post – but it made me hungry – LOL!!

    • 7.1
      patty says:

      we were in germany when i was very young. my dad took us to a open resturant on the rhine we had a real long skinny hot dog on a small bun. what was that.

      • 7.1.1
        Allen says:

        Frankfurter Würstchen (Frankfurters)

          Christoph says:

          Sounds indeed like Frankfurter Würstchen. The Hessian Version of a Hot Dog.

          Classic street food or a quick snack. Served on a white bun (Brötchen ) with mustard but ketchup is acceptable too.

          Some restaurants also serve it with a salad or Sauerkraut.

  8. 8
    Mandy says:

    Ha, I LOVED the food in Germany (Munich to be exact) but I wasn’t introduced to Spaetzle until my husband and I hosted some couchsurfers in Melbourne and they, being the awesome house guests that they were, made us two german meals: Spaetzle and Flammkuchen. DELICIOUS!!! Great…now my mouth is watering. Thanks! ;-)

    • 8.1
      Julian says:

      Flammkuchen aren’t German..they are from Alsace,today a part of France.It was after a war for some centuries a part of Germany,and after another war for some centuries a part of France again… and still it is since WW2.

      • 8.1.1
        Smartass says:

        I would argue that – historically speaking – Alsace was neither all french nor all german. It’s true that it is now french, but it was german for rather long periods and “Flammkuchen” specifically is well-known in other german regions due to cultural exchange, too. Thus, while the region it comes from may be french, the dish itself doesn’t necessarily have to be [or, in fact: it may be both german and french].

        But then again, I don’t really think it matters…

      • 8.1.2
        Mandy says:

        Thanks Julian! I guess I’ll always view it as a German dish though since a friend born and raised in Germany cooked it for me (having grown up eating it in her very German household). :) German or not in origin, it’s damn delicious!

  9. 9
    Rebecca says:

    hilarious! i almost spit a bite of bagel (my weak american breakfast) out reading this post!

  10. 10
    Kristen says:

    This might be my favorite post so far that I’ve read of yours. It may be because I too have a deep love of German food but I think it’s mostly from the gem lines such as “That’s right: they are so damn badass, they beat their food after it’s dead.” Ha.

  11. 11
    Taryn says:

    OK, now I am starving! I never knew German food could look so good and also be so fun to say!

  12. 12
    RiLee says:

    I’ve never been more proud of my German heritage then now ;o)

  13. 13
    Brad Russell says:

    Haha this is one badass post!

    I can vouch for the pork knuckle from Bavaria – awesome!

  14. 14
    Stephanie says:

    I’m in the very early stages of planning an extended trip to Europe for the sole purpose of eating and taking cooking classes. I stumbled on your blog through the top 12 of 2012 list and, needless to say, reading this one post has made me fall in love. Very entertaining and informative, and I cannot wait to read more!

  15. 15
    Willi says:

    Mom came from Prussia and Dad came from Black Forest – I grew up on this stuff even so I was born and raised in Detroit, Michigan. Loved the article, keep up the great writing and traveling.

  16. 16
    Sascha says:

    JA JA JA! I’m from Bavaria and I have to say you are completely right. I’m glad someone finally got the guts to tell the world how awesome we are (guess that’s because of the hair on your chest now) and how REAL food looks like.

    As you can see (website link) I live far away from Germa uhm Bavaria (we firmly believe we should be a sovereign state) and I have to cope a lot with impostors. ‘Original Bavarian Food’ they state outside their restaurant and then the restaurant itself is so tiny that it couldn’t even host 12 grown Lederhosen wearing Bavarians. Last time when they tried to serve a Schnitzel that actually fit on one single plate I had to drown them in the nearby pork juice.

    All in all a great post and I’m incredibly glad I didn’t come up with a big sausage reference.


    • 16.1
      Alex says:

      As a North German I totally agree that Bavaria should be a separate country.

    • 16.2
      Trolleira says:

      Great! I just have to agree with everything you said, Sascha! I am a Bavarian myself and also live far away, just the other direction from Bavaria than you. And Bavarian/German Food in Brazil is just as imposturous as in your country. They even try to copy Weisswurst here…

      Now I`m hungry and no Schweinshaxe nearby – what a pitty!

      Mahlzeit to you, too!

  17. 17
    Jessi says:

    This may be a bit forward coming from a complete stranger, but I believe I’m in love with you after that post! I lived outside of Ulm for a bit, not Bavaria I know, but weekends off were spent in Augsburg. You may have just made me, with this post alone, purchase a one way ticket back to that great land without me actually realizing it. I expect to magically appear in Germany any second with a plate of each of these in font of me. You are welcome to join that feast, but we’ll have to double each plate. =)

    Happy travels!

  18. 18
    Christian says:

    Don’t forget the two bastard mainstays of German fastfood culture.
    Currywurst – sliced bratwurst slathered in sweet ketchup and curry seasoning. There are places that have currywurst so spicy, you have to sign a disclaimer before eating.
    Döner – the only thing you need after a night of heavy drinking. Full of grease, mystery meat and questionable sauce. Never eat more than one a day.

    • 18.1
      frankonia says:

      cureywurst isn´t really Bavarian food, is it? It was in invented in Berlin, afaik, and tastes way better up there. And a properly done Döner is not too greasy, but comes with a lot of salad (greenstuff of different kind), so you wouldn´t die from it – but all the people coming too close to YOU, because of your breath (from hell)

    • 18.2
      Maximilian says:

      Currywurst is Prushian! F… it!!! >:-P
      Döner is turkish! All right!?

      Eat Bavarians eat “Leberkaas auf’d Händ'”


      • 18.2.1
        Nabend1401 says:

        Döners are about as Turkish as Bavarian cream doughnuts you get in America are Bavarian. Nobody in Turkey knows what a Döner is, unless they’ve lived in Germany.

    • 18.3
      Christian says:

      Come on, don’t get all uptight. I said German and not Bavarian. Just because it’s not true blau weiss traditional food blessed by Kaiser Franz himself doesn’t mean you can’t get it there.

  19. 19
    Susi says:


    Love your blogpost – and Bavarian food too (which is quite practical since I live here! ;-))

    BUT: It ist NOT Pretzel – it is “Brezn”. (Correct German it would be “Breze” – but in Bavaria we say “Brezn”)

  20. 20

    Always love your stories. Thank you. You always have great photos which helps a lot – and inspires the appetite! ;) Going for some Bavarian food this week now – thanks. Live in Greenville, SC – home of BMW State side so we have some decent choices. Wish I was there though.

  21. 21
    Bartl says:

    Das hat meinen Tag gemacht. (‘ve been dipped in Pretzel dough as a baby)

  22. 22
    Katie says:

    Loved your list! Couldn’t stop laughing and now want to find a much more fitting breakfast than my yogurt and granola.

    Also, I’m seriously craving a pretzel.

  23. 23
    Konrad says:

    You forgot the German bread! It’s not something you can squeeze or pretty much deform with force. Best cut with an axe it’s the kind of bread Indiana Jones would have hidden in while trying to avoid an atomic blast, if he had had the option. One slice will feed you for a day.

    • 23.1
      Olaf says:

      Even better: when this bread is a little older – an axe isn’t quite enough to slice, but Stihl chainsaws are not yet justified – we Germans tend to use it as tool, e.g. as hammer.

  24. 24
    Tom W. says:

    Lovely post! Laughed my ass of (btw after I had an enormous Schnitzel soaked in butter at the company cafeteria).

    But (of course) you forgot some wonderful things, for example:

    1. Spanferkel: It’s not only a Schweinshaxe, it’s a whole piglet! The meat is even more soft and tasty. It’s so much meat, it takes at least two Bavarians or roughly 20 Italians to eat it.
    2. Pfannkuchen: Imagine a crossbreed of pancake Pfann = pan, Kuchen = cake) and crepes the size of a big pizza, loaded with either a jar of jam or a pound of Nutella, rolled into a calorie bomb of awesomeness.×250-bilder-Erdbeer-Pfannkuchen.jpg

  25. 25
    Brooke says:

    I lived in Munich for year before I headed back towards the Ruhrpott. This was such a great read. Hysterical. I personally am in love with their Quarktasche pastries, which I only seem to find in Bayern and Austria. MY god. And the Crack Milk in Bayern, the green “Berchtesgadener Land” milk. Holy hell, it converted me to be a milk chugger while I lived there.

  26. 26
    Sabienes says:

    A nice list and funny too!
    But you have missed to mention radish! (and perhaps Sauerkraut)
    Both will work as real good fatburners, when there have eaten too much Schweinshaxe ;-)

    LG from Bavaria

  27. 27
    Delo says:

    As a German I am happy to see that you like our food that much. Very well written, I laughed a lot – thanks!

    BTW: next time, try to visit Northern Germany (Bremen) as well and have a taste of “Grünkohl mit Pinkel” ( It’s my favorite and a very typical german food, you will like it… :-)

    • 27.1
      Derp says:

      “mit Pinkel”? That does not sound very tasty to a guy from south germany :D “Pinkel” is colloquially urin XD

      • 27.1.1
        niemalsnever says:

        Well, the people from Bremen refer to “Kochwurst” (a cooked, sort of salami like, sausage) as “Pinkel”. You have to try “Grünkohl” with sweet roasted potatoes, “Kasseler” and “Kochwurst”. Unfortunately you can only get it in winter :-(

  28. 28
    Sepp says:

    I am from Munich Bavaria and I have to say that this article is not exaggerated, it simply hits the nail on the head. So sad there’s nothing about the beer, it is also considered to be an independent meal here.

  29. 29
    Kai says:

    Now I am hungry but I can’t eat ’cause I can’t stop laughing! Anyway you should have mentioned Dampfnudeln. And Kaiserschmarrn is austrian (which is probably pretty the same for americans) and Flammkuchen are alsatian, although they are somewhat common in the adjacent areas in alemannic germany and rhineland-palatinate.

    Thanks for the compliment and guten Appetit!


  30. 30
    Andreas says:

    Schnitzel made from veal is called “Wiener Schnitzel” which had its origin around Vienna. Schnitzel made from pork is called “Schnitzel Wiener Art” (Schnitzel à la “Vienna” / Schnitzel type “Vienna”). This is how you can distinguish a real Schnitzel on a menu.

    There are even more awesome German foods out there. The Schweinshaxe is a typical Bavarian specialty, while the “Eisbein” is its northern counterpart having its origin around Berlin IMHO. The difference is that Eisbein is soft because it is cooked in water respectively stock, while Schweinshaxe must get the extense heat from an furnace to become crispy.

    Despite you’re describing classic bavarian food, I really miss the modern “Pommes Currywurst” (French Fries with grilled sausage and a ketchup-like sauce with curry flavour) you can get everywhere in Germany. It is sometimes altered due to local influences, so it tastes different in Dortmund than in Berlin but it unifies Germany more than the demolition of the wall. You even can get Currywurst made from Tofu.

    Anyway, thanks for this hilarious post!

  31. 31
    mcbexx says:

    Pshaw… I give you… THE MEAT PLATTER OF DEATH
    (Augustiner Braustuben in Munich)

  32. 32

    You forgot something. The O’batztn. The bavarian starter that consists fo cheese, cheese, cheese and some cheese. When in a beergarden, you take salty Bretzn, O’batztn and a Radi at your table. It is bavarian heaven. Nothing on this planet beats it. Coming from a dutch that is now almost 10 years in Munich. :-)

  33. 33
    Jo says:

    Great article! :)
    BUT, it’s kinda offending calling Spätzle Bavarian. They are not. They are Swabian. And this is important. Really.
    Bavaria just has them because it’s so close to Swabia. It’s like Swabia has Weisswurst because it’s so close to Bavaria.

  34. 34
    yukimia says:

    But where is the leberkäse??? Best one next to pretzels!!!
    And kaiserschmarrn is not german. it’s from austria. i think yummy appelstrudel, too…

    These are a few of my favourite things…

  35. 35
    Foxxi says:

    Uuuhhh …but Spätzle is not bavarian, it’s swabian and there’s a BIG, BIG difference!!

    • 35.1
      Everywhereist says:

      I was led astray – but I still maintain that if you are visiting Bavaria, you should eat spaetzle. :)

  36. 36
    E. says:

    When will you people learn that Bavaria isn’t Germany and that Germany is not all about Schnitzel, Weißwurst and Spaetzle…

  37. 37
    Sven says:

    Hehe, love the column :-)
    But hey, did you mention that Bavarian men on a Bavarian diet come in only two sizes? Big and Huge? And that’s the belly, mind!
    Greetings from Austria ;-)

  38. 38

    Thank you very much, such a funny and entertaining post. Even if I don’t agree with all your choices (not being Bavarian), they put a smile on my face. Very good writing.

  39. 39
    Wildsau says:

    But PLEASE! NEVER frie a Schnitzel! Use a pan and only a little amount of Butterschmalz to stop i from sticking to the surface. NEVER EVER use a deep fryer!

  40. 40
    Hildchen says:

    Really enjoyed reading your post! Thought you’d like this image of a dish called “Molle Holztrog” at our local “Bavaria Alm”. A delicious meat platter to die for and from! Best served with a large amount of Löwenbräu! Cheers!

  41. 41
    Larissa says:

    Now I want to go the 500 meters to the restaurant in our village and eat a Schnitzel. With this awesome onion sauce which is probably more westphailian that Bavarian but you really, REALLY need to try!
    But probably I couldn’t eat it cause I have to laugh that hard :’D This text is awesome, especially you are from Germany and still live in Germany :’D

  42. 42
    Becky says:

    I grew up on this stuff… you should have added blutwurst (blood sausage)! My family made homemade sausage, smoked in the smoke house on their farm. A lost art. My grandmother made homemade sauerkraut (those are caraway seeds, not rye seeds, just FYI if you’re looking to add them to your American version of kraut). Hot German Potato Salad–truly the food of the German Gods. Man I am homesick for the “real stuff”. My poor hubby called my family “ethnic” when we first met. He’d never been exposed to the gastronomical delights of German food. I assumed everyone ate like that…

  43. 43
    Bee says:

    Suddenly 6 TIMES as proud to have been born in Bavaria! And actually getting a bit homesick right now. Love Chicago but wish we had a Hofbräuhaus here…..

    • 43.1
      Wildsau says:

      Thank good i made it the other way round. Born in the US of A and raised and fed in Nürnberg. Never had any cases of hoimesickness thou…

    • 43.2
      halligalli says:

      but there is a hofbräuhaus in Chicago!!!! not the real thing of course, but owned by Germans and therefore fairly authentic! I used to go there every so often when I was feeling homesick…. there’s also something called Resis bierstubn which is said to be good, but I never tried it.

      • 43.2.1
        Bee says:

        I’ve been to the ‘Chicago Brauhaus” . No Spätzle !! I go there for the Bratwurst. The rest of the food is just ok, the atmosphere touristy, corny and fun, but not exactly authentic German. It’ll do in a pinch (o:
        “Resis” is ok, haven’t been there in years. Have you tried Gene’s Sausage Shop on Lincoln? Good food, but the real German Pretzels are MIA in the USA.

          halligalli says:

          Hmmm, when I went there they certainly had Spätzle… I did not really find it touristy there, but then again las time I went there in January. I don’t suppose anything is touristy at that time in Chicago :)

          Berghoff’s has good Spätzle; it’s not really a German restaurant, but the things they have that are German, are actually quite okay!
          But maybe after not having eaten any spätzle, real bread or similar in months, I haven’t been too picky?

          And nope, never tried Gene’s Sausage Shop..
          On the few occasions I really craved German food, I had some stuff shipped to me from this shop in Madison, Wisconsin ;) Sooo overpriced for food that’s been refrigerated for ages. But still sooo good ;-)

          All in all, I think, Chicago is still a good town to find some food that’s close to German food :)

  44. 44
    Basti says:

    As a German this list is very funny for me . The discription for Weisswurst is my favorite. A few days ago me and my friends had Weisswürste for breakfast. Together with pretzels and a good Bavarian beer it is awesome :)

  45. 45
    Bavarian Badass says:

    A so a scheene Schweinshaxn und a guads Bier, des is hoid scho wos. Des hod si scho rumsprocha.

    Da Bayer

  46. 46
    A Bavarian says:

    So you all should know, why Andechs is the center of the bavarian view of the world. All food mentioned … and beer also. Cheers!

  47. 47
    Baribal says:

    Suddenly I feel very badass. And I’d now like to take a tour to I-guess-it’s-the-USA, sample the local “german” food and scream at people in german.
    Also… Chest hair? You mean that’s not usual? What’s next, do you *not* have hair on your back?

  48. 48
    Marcus says:

    Weisswurst’s made from veal, not pork. Just my two cents ;)

    Cheers from Munich – loved that post!

    • 48.1
      Everywhereist says:

      I thought so, too, but I kept finding articles that said they were made from a mix of the two – I wonder if it’s both? :)

      • 48.1.1
        chianti says:

        A true Weißwurst has to contain veal, that’s true – but the bacon is pork (not the meat!). Unfortunately, there are many products that contain only pork meat and bacon. So, if you want to taste the real thing, ask the butcher or waiter which meat was used and only try it if it was veal. Btw, I liked very much that you had the Händlmaier’s mustard which is the best available :-)

  49. 49
    Matthias says:

    Great list… even though Spätzle is not really Bavarian, but rather from Swabia (Southwestern part of Germany). But yummy they are… :)

    Greetings from Germany!!

    • 49.1
      Jim says:

      Well… considering part of Swabia’s been Bavarian since 1803 you really can’t blame her, can you?

      • 49.1.1
        Tobi says:

        The bavarian Swabia is not the origin of Spätzle! Württemberg is.
        (Swabia is kind of a bavarian exclave of württemberg)

  50. 50

    As a Bavarian, I commend you on your enlightenment concerning our heavenly food. Eat it, and you will grow Lederhosen from your own arse skin.

    But you forgot one crucial thing about Bavarian breakfast: It is always served at 11am and it is ALWAYS served with Bavarian beer! Always! Beer! This is important. I do not want to be quiet and by this be responsible for the serious health problems anyone will face who will leave the beer out and perhaps replace it with (god forbid) coffee! We drink coffee after 4pm to wash down a continental-sized slab of Kuchen. So: Beer-morning; coffee-evening(-ish).

    Best wishes,
    ein pflichteifriger Bayernfrühstücksgesundheitsoffizier

    • 50.1
      Johannes says:

      Finally someoneis making the right comment!

      You simply can’t have a Weisswurst without a Weissbier…

    • 50.2
      Sandra says:

      You’re SO SO true :D

      but got to ad sth: NEVER eat a Weisswurscht after 12:00

      because “an zwölften glockenschlog derf de weisswurscht net hern!”

  51. 51
    A German says:

    That’s awesome! Haven’t laughed so hard for quite a while! Read it 3 times now and am still smiling from the inside out! The greatest report i ever red about food!

    And as a German with a gf from the Commonwealth i have to say thank you, your report really helps me in our daily intercultural fight for a proper meal!

    Since i read your article, i know, why even the romans never conquered us, it was because of our sausages at breakfast… ;)

    But i miss a few things. I am from Frankonia, the north of Bavaria and we have Schäuferla, which is an improved version of Schwinshaxe. We leave the knuckles to the Upper Bavarians and eat the shoulder. You know why? Because it also has a crusty skin, the best Meat, but less fat and only one bone, so it is easier to eat and tastes a lot better. This also is about 500-700g of pure meat!

    And i miss our holy meal: Bratwurst! If you really want to make a german happy, give him 12 Nürnberger Bratwurst with some Sauerkraut and german bread or breadrolls and he will do everything for you!

  52. 52
    Kiki says:

    I guess we now know what Chuck Norris has for breakfast!

  53. 53
    Janne says:

    But there’s one thing you forgot. German bread. THIS is bread! There’s no compareable bread in the world. Well, at least I haven’t eaten it so far.

  54. 54
    Bavarian Mom says:

    You know what? I’m from munich and can even cook all these traditional dishes. Glad you liked them! Now I have to go outside to call the kids home from bear-wrestling…

  55. 55
    Tilo says:

    Briliant article, I love to read this. Thanks!

    One of my favorite food in germany is doner kebab. It has everything you need for a complete meal. (Pita) Bread, vegetables/salad and meat (if you wish). Served with halloumi it becomes most delicious.

    Despite it not an originally german food it has become popular in Berlin in the 1970’s. Today you can get it at nearly every corner.

  56. 56
    Gloria says:

    Hey there ;) What a great article – I laughed my head off while reading ;)
    I’m a german girl raised in south germany, and my grandma cooked all those wonderful dishes in my youth – and it was fun to learn cooking it myself.
    But I have to admit one very important correction: Spätzle aren’t of bavarian origin – they are an original swabian dish (the OTHER south part of the country), the bavarians just imported the Spätzle ’cause they’re ideal to any dish with lots of sauce. Or we swabians assimilated the bavarians some decades ago so they think Spätzle are bavarian … ;) trust me. I learned to cook handmade Spätzle from my swabian grandma ^^

  57. 57
    Omid says:

    I’m a Bavarian living in San Francisco .. I cried tears of laughter… amazing review!

  58. 58
    Manuel says:

    Everything in this article is 100% true, even the bear-wrestling part (and your writing style is phenomenal!). Great thing you included Händlmeier mustard. It’s from my city Regensburg and the best thing ever to accompany all sorts of sausages. This shows the true connaisseur!

    Here are some more hints from a native Bavarian:

    – regarding beer, aim for small local breweries from the Upper Palatinate like Rhaner, Kneitinger or Plank. These beers truly are the nectar of gods, the best of the best. Try to stay away from the big breweries in and around Munich, for example Paulaner, Löwenbräu, and most importantly Erdinger. Rather try the

  59. 59
    Schuhcreme-Sepp says:

    Spätzle originaly come from Swabia and are very popular there. The Swabians are even referred to as “Späzlefresser” (späzleeater). A part of Swabia is in Bavaria -> you could say Späzle is typical Bavarian food.

    You may wanna get a sausage (preferable a nuernberger rostbratwurst) and some slices of german bread (no toast or whitebread) with your Sauerkraut. <- something like that

  60. 60
    Manuel Joseph says:

    Great choice of dishes! Everything on this list is 100% true, even the bear-wrestling part (and you’re writing style is phenomal! Laughing tears…). You even mentioned Händlmeier-Senf from Regensburg, Bavaria’s most beautiful city, which is the most awesome thing to go with all sorts of sausages. A true connoisseur!

    Here are some more hints from a native Bavarian gourmaniac:

    – regarding beer, try to stay away from the big companies from the Munich area, like Löwenbräu or Paulaner. And for god’s sake do avoid Erdinger Wheat Beer! Try to find some bottles of Unertl (quite regular in Munich drink markets). Generally speaking you should aim for microbreweries from the Upper Palatinate, such as Kneitinger, Plank and first and foremost Rhaner. These beers truly are the mead of the gods, the best of the best

    – the best Schweinshaxn in and around Munich you will get at the Fraunhofer, a traditional Munich-style restaurant from the 18th century, situated between the Isar and the Viktualienmarkt. Check it out while you’re there. The other dishes on the menu are pretty impressive as well. Good solid traditional food and pretty cheap as well.

    – summer time in Bavaria is beer garden time. One of Munich’s most beautiful is the Hofbräukeller close to Max-Weber-Platz. Don’t forget to bring your own food! And even more important: try the Obazd’n, a cheese paste, made out of Camembert (or Brie), butter, onions and peppers. THE standard in beer garden food. It will give your stomach the power to handle the beer.

    – Weißwurst: the best one you’ll find at the Viktualienmarkt at Teltschiks Wurststand. Be there around 9:30 in the morning and they’re perfectly fresh. There’s no better start into the day than a couple of Weißwürste, a Brezn and a glass of Wheat Beer.

    Drop me a line in case you need more tipps for Munich or Regensburg…

  61. 61
    Marc says:

    Come to Germany, we have the real Food :-)
    Greetings from Blackforest (Germany)

  62. 62
    Yvonne says:

    So great.. i laughed so hard. I come from South Germany – where they invented the legendary “Spätzle”.

    And yes, we scream at you in German with words like: “Blitzkrieg” and “Weltschmerz” just to see you faint. ;-)

    You also have to try: Rostbraten – it is a filet Steak (beef) with a ton of onions and of course SPÄTZLE!

    Did you allready try Currywurst (curry sausage) or Döner ( most sell by turkey (is that the right spelling), both a meal that was invented in Germany.

    But please dont forget – we also eat Sushi.. really believe me.. PLEEASSSEE!!!

    German greetings from Baden-Württemberg


  63. 63
    Binh Du says:

    What about the Leberkäse? That´s a prefered lunch for street workers.
    I´m bavarian and find the blog funny. Weisswurst ist eaten in the morning @ oktoberfest and not every day ^^

  64. 64
    Alex says:

    Tja mia in Bayern wissen hoit, wos schmeckt, ge? Mia ois Münchner Kindl foin natürlich no fui mehr Speisn ei, aber dei Listn is scho a moi a guade Ofang!

  65. 65
    Riipa says:

    As a German I found this as hilarious as accurate! Brilliant!

  66. 66
    HarryB says:

    Take a look at the Currywurst:

    Germans love to schnitzel (= cut into pieces) their Currywurst. ;-)

  67. 67
    Debra says:

    I announced at work that I needed to have Spaetzle and asap. Ive never tried it and when comparing it to mac and cheese I was immediatily sold. Since Im currently pregnant and work only with men, this seemed to get a reaction! “We need to get this baby some spaetzle.” A group decision was made that our friday lunch will be at a great german resturant in NYC. Thank you for the food inspiration!

    • 67.1
      Paul says:

      Guten Appetit, Debra! Your post made me laugh here on my lunch hour in Munich – picturing your coworkers clearing your way thru Manhattan on your spaetzle mission (“Vorsicht! Comin’ through!”)
      Hope those noodles help make your baby strong and healthy!

  68. 68
    Rachel says:

    Oh my god, I love you. I make no apologies for how creepy that sounds. This blog is my new jam, and god damn if I’m not gonna be daydreaming about spaetzle for the rest of my days.

  69. 69
    Ben says:

    Oh damn … I’m dying while laughing. Thanks for this awesome post!

    Greetings from germany <3

  70. 70
    Stephan says:

    Thanks for this wonderful article!! Very well written !! I had to laugh so badly … maybe because I am AM German :) Anyway, Flammkuchen And Spaetzle are not Bavarian . Spaetle is from “Schwaben” more or less around Stuttgart, to make it easier), and Flammkuchen ist from France (Elsass, border to Germany).
    Why not visit more parts of Germany? Not only Bavaria has great food – also in Hessen (around Frankfurt am Main / largest German airport) we have food you might want to describe … Apfelwein (sour apple wine), Handkaes’ mit Musik (super stinking cheese with onions => music comes later) etc … you’re invited :)

  71. 71
    Thilo says:

    I had to laugh so hard ……. because it’s true O_O very well researched! If you ever happen to find yourself in north west Germany during winter, try Grünkohl & Pinkel. It comes with a three hour schnaps tour through the winter landscape to make it even more desirable to reach the restaurant.

  72. 72
    Da Hias says:

    Servus mitananda!

    Erstens hoasst de “pretzel” bei uns “Brezen”, d´Weisswurst gibt´s ned oanzain, sondern nur im Boa (zwei Stück!), da Senf vo da Luise is scho recht guad, zu da Schweinshaxn ghert a Sauerkraut und iiba Kaasspotzn muass a Schwammalsoss!
    …. as Bier feid!

    Da Hias vo Grafenau

  73. 73
    Matthias says:

    As a Bavarian i enjoyed Reading your Text
    Brilliant Writing i had a good lough And feel flattered :)

  74. 74
  75. 75

    Crap, I could see my Swabisch friends go nuts with disagreement about the Spätzle.

    I simply tell them to serve me some Maultaschen with my Spätzle … despite the non-Bavarian-ness to it all. ;-)

    Thanks for your post!

  76. 76
    The Bavarians says:

    totally aproved ;)

  77. 77
    Doris says:

    I loved this post. I’m from Bavaria, living in Southern California, and I had to share this post with my Facebook friends, hoping they would read it… I am still trying to explain the Pretzel thing to my American friends :) I’m visiting my Bavarian home for a couple of weeks this summer, and I truly miss some of the food. There are some places in SoCal to buy Bavarian ingredients, yes, but it’s not the same if it doesn’t come from my Dad’s kitchen. He makes the best Schweinebraten in the world, I swear.
    Anyways, great post, I’m excited to read more about other adventures.. like Germany for Christmas time? :)

  78. 78
    bavarian in berlin says:

    Hilarious! I was laughing my ass off when I read it.

  79. 79
    Guy from northern Germany says:

    Seriously – this is a brilliant read. Well done, missus!

    As a German myself I can personally vouch for the whole article. It is true, in no way over-exaggerated or wrong at any rate. I’m 123 years old, have never had even a cold and can single-handedly knock out two grizzlies at once. When I’ m drunk. on German Beer, of course.

    Thank you for the awesome read, and I’m not even Bavarian.

  80. 80
    Christoph says:

    Bavarians are so badass, they have the Weisswurst breakfast with Weißbier (wheat beer). On working days. In the office. Half a litre. (But they have no clue how to make spätzle.)

  81. 81
    Triple says:

    great post – i especially like the last comment on the weißwurst breakfast :D
    just to add another swabian opinion: spätzle and especially kässpatzle are swabian, that’s for shure ;) :P
    rock on!

  82. 82
    Mcakes says:

    I love you list! There seem to be quite a lot of posts about Bavaria, have you ever visited other German cities? Like Berlin, Hamburg, Cologne? After all, Bavaria is not representative of the splendidness of German cuisine. :D

  83. 83
    Huaba Sepp says:

    Yeah, so you know our most secret secrets? I’m sorry.. NO you don’t. I’m going to tell ya. But why?? You know… I just had some Beer, but I’m out of “Prezels” (Brezn… pronounced: Bréds’n) so I’m probably having a mental breakdown right now. My folks will probably torture me if they notice that i told ya those most awsomestestestestestestesssss Secrets…

    Behold, for the real secret of bavarian bavarianess is about to be revealed:
    Ähm, yeah… Stir all those things above together (but not the cake! Oh god, please don’t stir in the cake!!! Hulk was actually a bavarian, his name was “Maier Hans”). Stir it as long it’s a creamy mass, (don’t use a blender! You got to put effort, and love in it! I’m not sure about whether non-bavarian love is compatible… Anyway… Now, you stir some Bavarian Beer in it… (Berger Bier from a little town calld “Reischach”, for super bavarianessness! Augustiner also works, but you won’t grow an instant mustache…).
    So, now the most important thing! You have to drink that shit “auf EX” (to drink in one go).
    You may ask: But HUABA SEPP!!!! What if i fail?? I’m sorry folks… I can’t answer that question for there has never been a bavarian that didn’t make it! (It’s probably because we send our children to drinking school when they turn 0.3). Where was I? Oh yes.. If you succed, you will instantly become bavarian. YOU WON’T SPEAK GERMAN! YOU WILL SPEAK BAVARIAN, being as awesome as hell!

  84. 84
    Horst says:

    northern german food is way gnarlier!

    picture-google grünkohl and labskaus!

  85. 85
    Jay says:

    I am a german and now i am hungry!

  86. 86
    augustus says:

    i live right next to the place where the schweinshaxn picture was taken. always awesome, doesnt get old!

  87. 87
    Michael L says:

    Awesome, I am from bavaria and I did not laugh often that much reading an article on the internet than with this one ^^

  88. 88
    Sibylle says:

    This article is hilarious, I really enjoyed reading it and was smiling big time whilest at it. BUT I am german and I am always a bit disapponted that a lot of Americans do the Germany=Bavaria thing. Bavarians have great food, also the Swabians, I do love me some homemade Spätzle. But we here in northern and middle Germany have really great food too. Think of Fish-dishes like Pannfisch, Fishrolls, Labskaus, than there are Rouladen (rolled meat either from veil filled with stuff oder made of cabbage with a meatfilling. Königsberger Klopse. Schweinebraten (pork roast) with red cabbage and much more to explore.
    Also the pic of the cake from Starbucks was a bit funny to me because cake in Sbux always seems a bit american to me and has not a lot in common with real german cake.

    Come on, make a roundtrip though Germany and explore which nice things else you can eat here.

    Best S.

  89. 89
    Stefan says:

    You owe me an espresso! I completely lost it when I read “Germans can schnitzel the hell out of anything”.

  90. 90
    Lindsey says:

    I spent a year living and studying in Würzburg, Bavaria (or Franconia as they would say haha) and I love this post so much. It reminds me of an amazing year eating lots of yummy food :)

  91. 91
    Dirk says:

    Bro, Weißwurst ist not pig, it’s veal.

    And no one hammers any meat for a Wiener Schnitzel who has any honour. It’s also veal and cut very thin. Anything else is like McDonalds. For the toillet.

    Cheers from München, Bayern (Munich, Bavaria)

  92. 92
    Juno says:

    The article is GREAT !!!! :o) BUT, Bavaria is just a little part of Germany and the most Germans don’t like it. ;o)

    German has SOOOO much more to offer than those creepy Bavarians…

    Come to Berlin, Hannover, Hamburg, Lueneburg, come visit Northern Germany , it is million times
    more beautiful than Bavaria and the people are not so creepy at all.

    There are tons of Schnitzel, Rotkohl, Knoedel, Bratwurst, Currywurst and more to discover…and you will see GERMANY is NOT JUST Bavaria…:o)

  93. 93
    Aaron says:

    I just have to say that this post is exactly why I love you and your blog. You are the bavarian food of the blogoshpere. Badass.

  94. 94
    Munte says:

    I´m german too and i´ve missed Leberkäse and Knödel:



  95. 95
    Wunderbar says:

    Great article, I had to laugh. Greetings from germany! :)

  96. 96

    Hehe, nice post. We germans love the huge giant burgers and steaks and the Whiskey in USA. The grass on the other side is always better ;) One hint: We call it Bretzel not Pretzel. did you ever tried Obazda? You should eat Obazda with Bretzel!

  97. 97
    bavarian says:

    thank you for this, no really thank you :D
    I am from south bavaria, but right now i’m studying in franconia and fuck yeah our food rocks like hell!
    and your article made me laugh so hard i’m about to fall of my freakin chair :D nectar of the gods :D
    but sorry, i have to correct you, schnitzel isn’t really a bavarian food, its from austria. by the way, as great as bavarian food is, the austrians have great food, too. have you ever tried somethin called kaiserschmarrn? if not, DO IT!!!!

  98. 98
    Ernesto says:

    I so much enjoyed this article. I am from Germany and laughed my ass off reading this article. Remember that Bavaria is not Germany the south is very different compared to the north. Still I am happy you probably enjoyed your stay in my home country.

  99. 99
    Dauntless says:

    Thank you so much for this hilarious post. I had to read it three times and as a German I died laughing every single time. :D

    I hope you’ll have a chance to visit other German federal states, as everyone has its own culinary delicacies. And I would LOVE to read another post like this one about German food. :)

  100. 100
    ilse says:

    ….just please don’t call them pretzels!! they are called Brezn
    …and Schnitzel came from Austria (we do love it, though)
    from Munich with love

  101. 101
    Stoppal says:

    great post, true in some parts and funny as hell, but being an Austrian i feel obliged to correct you. Although we are the small useless country southeast of Germany with a tendency for annoying right wing politicians, most of the stuff you mentioned (except the Weisswurst) is Austrian/Bavarian food and has nothing whatsoever to do with the stuff they eat in Germany. Germans have a tendency to drown everything in “Sauce Hollandaise”, Ketchup and similar disgusting stuff. That had to be said ;)


  102. 102
    Markus says:

    As a Bavarian who has lived in the US and UK for the last six years I can’t thank you enough for this. Not only is it the best English description I’ve ever read it will make it extremely easy for me to explain Bavarian food to my Anglo-Saxon friends. Fantastically written – and 100% accurate. Thank you!

  103. 103
    Flo says:

    Thank you AMERICA for showing the WORLD that BAVARIA RULES IT. I am from lower bavaria and i can enjoy these meals every day. My mother on law makes the best cakes ever and I am so proud to be a real bavarian. I really enjoyed reading this “piece of art” and I hope that everybody can come over here and that everyone is able to enjoy this awesome food….

  104. 104
    Vinayak says:

    This is such a super post! There’s nowhere in the world I want to be, as much as Bavaria right now! I may even say this is your best post yet, which is saying a lot anyway!

  105. 105
    themanfrombavaria says:

    Well done, nothing to add here. Greetings from Munich, Bavaria

  106. 106
    Mark says:

    I lived in munich for quite a while – seeing these pictures make me want to book the next flight there. Especially now, when the biergartens are open :)

  107. 107
    Bill Broke says:

    like the comments … no humor on the German side :)
    Law of nature or

  108. 108
    Ana says:

    I had a good share of Bavarian food, luckily no hairy chest ;)

  109. 109
    Frankonian one says:

    Just to mention one thing … “Spaetzle” are far from being “Bavarian food” – most bavarians even call them “noodles” – much to the dislike of the Swabians and Badeners :-)

  110. 110
    Christian says:

    HALT! (to contribute another german cliché word)
    Enough, I already have tears in my eyes, this text is so funny! And I’m from Lower Franconia, so not from Bavaria ;-)

  111. 111
    CWeirauch says:

    LMAO… great writing!

  112. 112

    Hilarious post! I love your selection of Bavarian food – although I must concede that Spaetzle are actually Swabian. But I agree, they are really good. What I like most, is that you have included the Weisswurst and the Schweinshaxe in your selection. They are sooo Bavarian – filling yes, delicious yessss!

  113. 113
    Susie says:

    OK, so I am totally homesick now, thanks a lot! I am from Germany, my Mom is from Munich, and I was raised on Bavarian food, must be the reason I am a true Carb Queen. We always have Spaetzle with a roast and gravy at family meals. Oh,and an additional addictive Bavarian specialty is the sweet and sour red cabbage (Blaukraut)! One tip, don’t forget to peel the Weisswurst before you eat it. A true Bavarian never eats a Weisswurst past 10:00 am and we drink a Weissbier with it! Guten Appetit :)

  114. 114
    German translator says:

    Was supposted to work but after reading this I have to go for lunch..
    This was really a “tasty” blog.

  115. 115
    Sebastian says:

    If you make it a little further to the south and reach Austria, try a Germknödel. Since it’s either filled with jelly or *gasp* poppy seeds, you might enjoy it especially on 4/20. And if you can stomach it, try the Kaiserschmarrn. It’s a pancake that’s been f*cked up into stripes as thick as baby arms and chocked in powdered sugar. Not for the faint of heart I tell ya ;-)

  116. 116
    roland says:

    .I’ve been there once. Perfect place to visit.. i´ve missed Leberkäse and Knödel too :o) I love this article, thank you very much,

  117. 117
    P says:

    OMG – I am crying and my sides hurt!! The best ab-laugh-work-out in…too long. Tnx Geraldine!

    Being that I’m dating a German, this post is also near and dear to my heart (though he’s from Hamburg). My only anti is the dreaded potato dumpling…how is a body supposed to digest something like that?! I am not equipped.

    LUVS your blog!

  118. 118
    Hans Holfeld says:

    Haha, and where is a beer? A bavarian beer is like a full meal! “A Mass” :-)

  119. 119

    I’ve only tried the Weisswurst but now i can’t wait to take a trip to Germany and try the rest!!

    OR maybe I can convince the owner of the local German Deli to make this stuff for me??

    wish me luck!! I’m off on a quest to wow my taste buds!

  120. 120
    wesley gunter says:

    Nearly shat myself laughing when I read this. YOU ARE AWESOME

  121. 121
    Nigel says:

    Geraldine, i love your “GERMANS DO IT WITH BIGGER SAUSAGES.” you are a bad bad girl!!

  122. 122
    birgit says:

    I am from Bavaria, living in the US and could not agree more :). Would also suggest “leberkaese’, which an american friend of mine always calls ‘mystery meat’. Lots of truth in it, lol. We maybe should not investigate much further.
    I also thought there that pigs brain was part of the weiss wurst ? Would be great if you’d tell me it’s NOT :)
    In Franconia, where I from, ‘spiessbradebroedle’ have always been a big hit !

  123. 123
    Eric says:

    How did I miss this post? I am in a world of bewilderment right now while still drying my eyes. Thank you for nailing the Bavarian diet. I should not be reading your posts while eating Spaetzle or drinking milk for that matter. Do you mind if I repost this on my blog?

  124. 124
    Eric says:

    I think it’s absolutely hilarious the amount of debate we have over Spaetzle and its origins, and the other nuances of Schwabia vs. Bavaria, if its one thing I learned about Germans, they love to debate, and even online they are hardly ever wrong!

  125. 125
    Will McNeice says:

    They also make a vegetarian schnitzeI out of spinach. It tastes great and I had it with my liter of beer in Munich. I wanted a half-liter but the waiter said I had to order a liter. I didn’t have to drink it, he said, but I did have to order it.

  126. 126

    I lived an hour or two south of Muenchen for two years when I was a kid and came to love Bavarian food. I really miss it now, especially Jaegerschnitzel (Hunter’s schnitzel) with Spaetzle. I’m going back to Germany this summer for the first time in a long time and I already know this will be my first meal and of course I’m going to wash it down with a good German beer.

  127. 127

    Spaetzle is fantastic. Ever seen the device they make it with? We have one. It looks like a giant garlic press. You have to eat the spaetzle before you’ve even made to be able to handle the thing.

  128. 128
    Knoman says:

    I loved this article, it made me long for the excellent food I had when stationed in Schwabach!

    That the comments section would turn into a Bayern vs Norden feud was also inevitable and entertaining.

    Bayern is to the rest of Germany is like Texas is to the US

    They talk with a funny drawl and are considered laid-back hayseeds, while Bavarians consider Northerners to be stuffy uptight prudes !

  129. 129

    But most importantly Bavarian food is great for soaking up BEER. At the Oktoberfest especially. The wursts, the potatoes, the spaetzle. All gives you amazing beer drinking powers so that you can drink steins of 8% beer for 12 hours and still remain upright while dancing on the table.

  130. 130
    coco says:

    Hello! I’d like to tell you how much I enjoyed this post. My family on my mother’s side are from Bavaria, and you have nailed our food right on the head with this post!! The pretzels here (in the UK) do not compare to the huge, gigantic, tasty as hell “Brezn” you get in Bavaria. I always tell my English friends this but they look at me like I’m a snob and don’t get it. Also, yes, the cake portions are just fantastic. Going into a baker’s over there is like walking into heaven.

    When I go to Bavaria I stuff my face because the food there is JUST THAT GOOD. (And so is the beer!!) Also you missed one… Kaiserschmarn. This weird and wonderful mix between a sweet pancake and an omelette. AMAZING.

    It’s so nice to hear complimentary things about German food because usually all you hear are things like, “Well it’s not very romantic compared to Italian food is it blah blah blah” and that really pisses me off. So thanks. :)

    I’d also like to say that I’ve got a relatively new language/travel blog & have spent quite some time trying to find other blogs to read which are interesting and humorous, and I am very pleased I’ve now found yours. Definitely following you. :)

  131. 131
    Am says:

    I got to your site doing a search on how to get to Englischer Garten in Munich (I’m visiting Germany soon), and this article made me roll over laughing!!! On top of being hilarious it’s also really informative! Wonderful post! I’ll be sure to try some of these foods while there!

  132. 132
    Brat-Tossing Champion from Southern Indiana says:

    Love this post! You are spot on in your description!! I spent 2 weeks in germany in 2011 and Im dying to go back! The best apfel strudel I had was in Munich at the Augustiner right after I had their pigs knuckle- My mouth is watering just thinking about it!

  133. 133
    Daryl says:

    I’m an American living in Germany (and my husband’s German) and I was literally busting a gut the entire time I read this article. Very, very loud laughing. Thank you for making my night.

  134. 134
    Stephen says:

    Sauerkraut does to the Germans what Kimchi does to the Koreans!

  135. 135

    I’m a few months late to this post since I just found your blog, but the photos brought back memories of a week my husband and I spent in Bavaria when he was at a scientific meeting in a castle somewhere near Rottach-Egern on Lake Tegernsee. It was beautiful country, but a week of Bavarian cuisine (mostly meat) nearly killed me. When we got back to Munich, I demanded to be taken to an Italian restaurant.

  136. 136
    Montecristo Travels says:

    Spaetzle ….. mmmmmmm…..

  137. 137
    Schmitz says:

    Frequently they serve cherry brandy (“Kirschwasser”) along with the Spaetzle (and along with the beer) to dissolve the fat.
    Btw, the amateur STARTS shoveling the Spaetzle onto their plate. Real Germans wait for the molten concentrated butter to deposit in the bottom of the bowl….

  138. 138
    Dorothy says:

    I make spaetzle by dropping bits of the dough into boiling water. With melted butter they are excellent. My sons can eat a pot of it heated or cold easily. I don’t make it often enough to buy one of those machines. I’ve only had true strudel several times. The kind where the dough is stretched over one’s knuckles over a floured table until the table is covered, and then filled with apple slices and rolled up. It’s wonderful. The stuff they call strudel around here is more like tasteless apple pie pieces. I know this is off the topic, but smell is such a wonderful part of really good food. I didn’t realize how much until I went into an Italian deli one day and learned what is missing in the food we generally eat.

  139. 139

    Make that kuchen apfelkuchen and add butter to that brezel and yep, right on. Is spaetzle not the bombest (not a word) version of the noodle?

  140. 140
    bavarian says:

    very good article!
    im from bavaria and you took the best food we have. this makes me really proud of my country =) but you forgot our beer. 4 beer = 1 schnitzel :D

  141. 141
    Dory says:

    Really great post about german food!! I was laughing so much! And don’t forget drinking the Weissbier with your Weisswurst breakfast!! Otherwise that doesn’t make sense… ;)

    Greetings from Germany <3

  142. 142
    Guenth says:

    Hi there.

    What a great blog. I am Bavarian from the very south-west part, aka the Allgaeu, and we are extremely proud of our heritage. I have lived all over the world, many years in New Mexico (also very, very good food) and Maine (my wife grew up in Maine but is a giantic Masshole, hahaha) and I simply love good food. Nothing beats a fresh Maine lobster, except….you guessed right….a white sausage breakfast, pretzl and a Weissbier.

    I love the US and especially the New England area. Great food, beer and awesome Red Sox. But nothing beats Bavaria, sorry.

    We live in the UAE and I cannot express how much I crave Bavarian food here (our Abu Dhabi and Dubai German restaurants….suck).


  143. 143
    Thomas says:

    i also laughed a lot.

    Let me show you the most prominent “snack” in the northern bavarian region – so called franconia.

    Its the shoulder of the pork, roasted with a crunchy skin and severd on its bone. Dumpling and a dark sauce included. It is called Schäufele.

    The recipe is only in german – but google will help you :-)

    Greatings from the heaven of sausages, meat and beer – Franconia at its best……

  144. 144
    Teresa says:

    Fantastic list! I am half German and grew up on sausage n’ sauerkraut the way Americans do it here. I am envious of the giant sausages and pretzels of the Bavarian countryside. I will have to go hunt them down sometime and eat them with my bare hands…German style. Hopefully I won’t grow too much hair on my chest! :)

  145. 145
    BB says:

    Haahaha…I m Bavarian, and this sentence actually got me giggling with laughter loud in front of my computer on what you write about Germans: “…they are so damn badass, they beat their food after it’s dead. Then they batter dip and fry it up, because if there’s one thing that makes hammered meat even better, it’s a crisp, golden crust….” :-))))))

  146. 146
    Perry says:

    Ahhh. Schnitzel! :)

  147. 147
    Kristina says:

    I am American but I was born in Munich and bad the great pleasure of living in Bavaria for 11 years and I really miss the food. I even make my own curryketup because they don’t sell it here. I thought this was great and no matter who invented it Bavarians make all food better. Lol

  148. 148
    Ace says:

    You visited Bavaria and did not try leberkäse/leberkassemmel? Damn that’s as Bavarian as weisswurst and schweinshaxn are, and is something I’d call a must eat while being here…

    Greetings from Bad Reichenhall

  149. 149
    John says:

    I am an American who grew up Germany and also have a passion for food – and a soft spot in particular for German food. I had the good fortune of traveling to Bavaria this past spring with a few buddies and we sampled heavily of the local fare and loved it. Thanks for helping us to re-live this great experience with the funniest .most entertaining food blogs I think I’ve ever read. Great job!

  150. 150
    RiderWriter says:

    I spent a month in Bavaria way back in the late 70s (before you were born, Everywhereist, you know, the Dark Ages), and the only thing I ate when we went to restaurants was Schnitzel and potato dumplings. And I managed quite nicely, thank you! :D Such awesomeness. In fact, now I’m craving it as I haven’t had a decent real German schnitzel in years and years.

    *heads off to research nearest German restaurant which will likely be at least an hour away*

  151. 151
    katta says:

    I am from lower Bavaria (don’t live there anymore, but still in Germany) and I agree with everything you say despite being a vegetarian since the age of 7. ;)

    I also thought it would be nice to know for you, what happens with your texts around the world. Well, since the text was published, I have read it out loud on lower Bavarian trains to random people (in English) and pretended to do so to my husband (who’s an English native speaker.) So far we did that twice, the first time there were like 20 people in lederhosen and dirndl listening and laughing at the appropriate times (that was in August, when there was ‘Volksfest’ time, which is something like little Oktoberfests all over the country), the second time (a week ago) we have sadly been ignored pointedly by the only other couple in the train.

    At least – at Christmas – my sister schnitzeled the hell out of the meat the others had. ;)

  152. 152
    ding dong says:

    do you know that pork eats all the human and animal’s poop, so don’t eat it.

  153. 153
    ding dong says:

    it is very bad for you. :(

  154. 154
    Paul says:

    Great post. Before I visited Germany, I had always assumed Pretzels to be one thing. Of course you get to Bavaria and there are these enormous, wonderous twisted beasts of bready goodness the size of your head! They are absolutely amazing and, when combined with a generous serve of Bavarian beer, one of the best and most simple food combinations that exists on this planet.

  155. 155
    Skipper says:

    This is hilarious…just the way it was presented and everything about it. Especially the size factor.
    For the sauerkraut…if the stuff we have here (although the stuff in my Grandma’s basement is homemade, we do buy it in the store, since we’re a whole US away from here) is bad…then I’m scared to try the real thing…because I absolutely love the soggy stuff that we have here.

  156. 156
    gary ferguson says:

    Gruss von Amerika!

    I am a mutt – half german, half irish, and “Ive been to Germany about 4 times now. ZHands down best dinner was Schweinhaxe – if you hasvent had it you are missing one of the joys of life! It tastes deep fried, very crispy, but I understand it is pit roasted for like 12 hours. Amazing treat. Also I have to give a shoutout to any german bakery ( Bakerei) I was not aware of their reputation but they are very underrated – they are artists at making bread and various treats. Its worth the trip to Germany just to walk through a typical bakery.

    Danke Schon

  157. 157
    Christoph says:

    This post made me long for some food from home! (I am a Half German / Half American living in France). While I am not Bavarian (born and mostly raised in Hessen) some of the food is the same I also grew up with.

    But I would like to add that Bavarian food is not representative for the whole of Germany. In the different states there also differences in the traditional foods. Even within the state there can differences.

    In Bavaria for example porc is very dominant but further in North Germany (Hamburg, Kiel) you should not miss out on the awesome fish dishes they have.

    A great area for a vacation and mostly overlooked by foreign travelers is called the Weinstraße (Wine Route – you can get some great wines there and the food is awesome.
    The area itself is also beautiful.

    Last I would like to add something about Spätzle. There are a lot of different versions of them and in my opinion the most awesome is this:

    You take fresh hand made Spätzle (very easy by the way) and cook them. After straining them you add a nice amount of butter to a hot pan and add bacon bits to it. Mix in the Spätzle and brown them a little bit and then add a generous amount of cheese and let it melt into the Spätzle… TADA Käsespätzle!

  158. 158
    Lars Clausen says:

    You know the famous Google cafeterias? The Google Munich cafeteria is doubly kick-ass because it’s Google *and* Bavaria!

    True story: My Kansan parents-in-law spent two weeks in Munich, and their favorite things about the stay were the food and the public transit. But then, they’re of Bavarian stock to begin with.

  159. 159
    Harold says:

    This truly made my day! I am gearing up for my first ever trip to Europe and I am headed to Southern Bavaria. You are a truly wonderful writer and I am sharing this article with everyone in my party! Best,

  160. 160
    Sam says:

    ROFL! Loved this! Such a funny article. Especially the sauerkraut part where you said the real german sauerkraut laugh at the measly american versions where you sprinkle it on hotdogs. I’m from Malaysia, and know thats true. The sauerkraut made here is a joke too. I want to go to a REAL German beer garden and have some REAL German food.

  161. 161
    Pandemic says:

    Nice work! I have a few points I’d change, though.
    Spätzle are NOT Bavarian, but Swabian / Alemannian. ;) Also, Pretzels are not really Bavarian. The origin is not 100% clear, but also presumed in Wurttemberg.
    I know it’s a Bavarian and German collection, but I just thought I’d point it out. :)

  162. 162
    Rick says:

    You forgot to mention the “glue” that holds it all together: weizen or a helles.. And no conversation of huge German sausages is complete without mention of a meter-long Nürnberger Bratwurst. Everything else is spot-on though!

  163. 163
    jack says:

    Bavarian food is so manly i grew a beard while i was there for 3 days, it is the cure for vegatarnism

  164. 164
    Cowboy says:

    Im a Texan living in Franconia and BOY the Bavarian food is so delicious, rich with tons a meat. Exactly what meat lovers want. There are also so much other things that are great but not listed in this article.

  165. 165
    Jen says:

    Im from Bavaria and you definitvely got it right!! NOM NOM!!!!! :)

  166. 166
    Bernstone says:

    I am german and I just had to lough so hard… that is one of the best descriptions of german food and the Germans I have ever read. THANK YOU! We don´t wrestle bears in summer camp, but the rest is quite true! Made my day!!!!

  167. 167
    Andrea says:

    To all who love Spaetzle:

    They can be made everywhere, because you only need eggs, flour and salt, things that are available in most parts of the world.

    There are tutorials on youtube: or

    If you don’t understand German: You put them into boiling salted water. They have to boil until they come up to the surface. When you don’t need them at once, put them in cold water, or they will stick togeter (just like all other noodles). Of course it takes some practice to get equal shaped Spätzle.

    In the first video, he adds Cheese to make “Kässpätzle”. When you don’t add cheese, you can use them as a side dish like all other noodles.

    • 167.1
      Andrea says:

      And if you only have Brezeln/Pretzels without sausage, try slice the soft part horizontal and add some butter. Pretzels are something very much admired by small children. They are easy to hold for small hands and can be sucked even if there are no teeth. I don’t know how people succeed in raising children where there are no Brezeln.

  168. 168
    strmls says:

    See how complicated german history is..? Even today germans keep arguing what is or is not culturally a part of germany/ bavaria and each of the other states. But concerning food and drinking this is a really good thing.

    There are areas like frankonia(which is as big as new hampshire) where every tiny village has a slightly different dialect, own food and their own beers(!!) for example. There are over 250 commercial breweries in franconia.

  169. 169
    Bonnie G. says:

    OMG, this was a hilarious blog. Two very enthusiastic thumbs up!

    I taking my first trip ever to Munich next month (over Christmas!). I am so excited to try the food. Thanks for explaining what everything is, and for showing pictures so the reader is able to identify each food.

    I’m going to try every one of these “badass Bavarian foods”.

  170. 170
    Gregory says:

    Dear Everwhereist:
    Thanks for this entry. This spring, we had an anniversary trip through Germany and ‘hovered’ in Bavaria for a bit. It was awesome. We enjoyed weissewurst, schweinhaxen, spaetzle, saurkraut, LOTS (of responsible) beer. The weisswurst breakfast is just wonderful, pretzels and all. You are SO right about the food. For desserts, we enjoyed germknodel, where poppy seeds have their heyday. Speaking of, the mohnstreizel (we had it homemade from friends) out of this world. I could go on and on…but can’t wait to go back..and EAT! Thanks for your great post.

  171. 171
    Adam E says:

    You nailed the heart of Bavarian cusine.. with one exception… Leberkäse!! We can get it here in Australia… but it doesn’t hold a candle to the real Bavarian version! Visited with my family in Hechendorf am Pilsensee in October 2013 and I could not get enough of it! There was a roadside diner at the end of the street we stayed in, and the owner Eddy baked it fresh every morning.. hmm… my mouth watered just then! :P

  172. 172
    Andi says:

    I’ve stumbled upon this article about one and a half year ago, I think, and had to laugh so hard. I didn’t know by then how German food is seen by outsiders (I’m from Hessen, Germany btw.) Now we had guests from Canada over and they too said how much they loved it. We didn’t quite get what all the fuss is about (I mean, to us it’s just food).
    If you travelling to eastern Europe (especially the Czech Republic), the food is similar in style. You won’t find everything there, but other things and you’ll have a very similar experience. Including the beer (Pilsen is in the Czech Republic, after all).
    Lastly, if you want to even improve your Schweinshaxe experience and are lucky enough to have the opportunity, try Spanferkel, which is a whole piglet roasted over the fire. As you can imagine, it’s not an everyday sight, but they sometimes make them for bigger events and celebrations and there are some few restaurants that make them on a regular basis. As it’s more meat, the “crispy on the outside, tender on the inside”-factor is even better, plus it’s something you (and us too for that matter) don’t see everyday.
    So, I’ll leave you to revel in my memories of that bear I once wrestled with at summer camp. Good times, good times… ;-)

  173. 173
    umbrA says:

    Probably I’m not the first to point that out, but Weisswurst is NOT pork!! It is veal, with no traces of bacon, so actually something quite delicate. The mustard is not optional, and even less is the Hefeweizen that comes with it. That’s also why it is one of the preferred hangover breakfasts in Bavaria. Prost!

  174. 174

    Haha, I love this. Especially the part about Bavarians beating their food after it’s dead :D

  175. 175
    Dawny says:

    I’m German and laughed so hard I almost fell off my chair!…..

  176. 176
    Chris says:

    Nice Post but, WHY THE HELL WOULD YOU VISIT A FUCKING STARBUCKS when your in Munich?!!!!! Thats it, have a nice day ;)

    • 176.1
      Everywhereist says:

      Chris –

      I KNOW. I KNOW. But I had to pee. And I was amazed at the quality of cakes in just a friggin Starbucks. IMAGINE WHAT THE BAKERIES MUST HOLD.


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