Hi – I’m back! Forgive the lag in blogging. I blame Peru. That place is magical.
I’ve loads to tell you about that trip – and heck, I’m not even done telling you about Kansas or my trip to Lake Placid, Florida (please try to contain your excitement). But all of that will have to wait, because presently, I want to take a piece of sandpaper or, failing that, a cheese grater, to my ankle. It’s covered in bug bites attained at Macchu Pichu, and it’s positively killing me. While I’m blessed to not suffer from allergies (unless, say, I shove my face directly into a cat and breathe in deeply, which I’m sure we’ve all done once or thrice), there is one thing I am severely allergic to: mosquito bites. They usually swell up to the size of a quarter, and have literally woken me from a restful sleep with the sting.
I took a photo of my bug-bitten ankle thinking it would be impressive, but instead it looks disappointingly normal, so I now seem like a huge wuss. Behold:
The cropping on this photo is excellent. You can see neither my hairy legs nor my wonky toe. Huzzah!
-
But believe me when I tell you that, right up until the second I took this picture, it was covered with red welts from a team of incredibly industrious mosquitoes up in the Peruvian mountains. I had literally 2 inches of leg showing between my the bottom of my cuffed jeans and the top of my ankle socks, and they went for it. Yes, I realize that cropped jeans don’t necessarily look good on someone with my frame (i.e., short, pear-shaped). Perhaps the little jerks that bit me were just fashionistas trying to teach me a lesson.
One particularly brave member of their crew managed to fly up my pant leg, like a insect equivalent of Hiram Bingham, and made it up to my knee before I squashed him with a slap. I hope he finds solace in the insect afterlife knowing that his earthly remains will be a part of my jeans forever, or at least until I wash them.
I felt no small measure of sadness when I returned home and found that these bug bites are indeed the only souvenirs I have from our visit to the Inca ruins. Still, I’m not sad to see them go. If, like me, you can’t deal with mosquito bites (or any bug bite that leaves you itching and stinging), and often find yourself on the road with no drugstore in sight, here are my home remedies and cures for getting a little bit of relief. (And obviously, if you have a more severe reaction than just itching, GO TO THE DOCTOR. Duh.)
- Ice. It never ever occurred to me to apply an ice-pack to a bug bite, but it totally works. Granted, you’ll seem a bit melodramatic, hoisting your poor red limb up onto a table as though you had a real injury, but about 10 minutes of applying an ice pack will give you an hour or more of itch-free relief. It’s glorious.
- Aspirin. Instead of popping the pills, grind them up into a powder, add a drop of two of water to make a paste, and apply it to your bug bites. Leave it on overnight and wash off in the morning. Aspirin is an anti-inflammatory, and it works even topically (this also is great for big red zits. Apply the paste to red spots at night, and wash off in the morning. Hope no one sees you in the interim).
- Alcohol. No, no, no. Put that margarita down. That is so NOT what I meant. If you have rubbing alcohol (or any liquid that contains a high content of alcohol, like mouthwash or, hell, vodka) dab a little on the bug-bites. It should relieve the itching and will disinfect the bite (helping to prevent infection).
- Toothpaste. Just a dab of toothpaste (preferably the cheap, white, pasty kind) can help relieve itching of bites. It has anti-inflammatory properties, and ingredients like baking soda and menthol help to relieve the irritation. And you obviously have toothpaste with you on your trip, RIGHT?
- Hydrocortisone cream. I take a small tube of hydrocortisone with me wherever I go. Most of the time it never gets used, but when I actually need it, I feel absolutely brilliant for having dragged it with me. It relieves the itch and redness, and works on all manner of skin irritations, allergic reactions, and bites. I’ve also been known to dab it on zits at night to relieve redness.
- Pop some Sudafed or Benadryl. It absolutely shocked me that this worked, because I’ve always sucked at biology and don’t understand the human body. But taking an antihistamine pill can relieve itching for hours – it blocks your body’s reaction to the bite, which caused the irritation in the first place. Just half a Benadryl tab worked for me for hours.
- Salt. Lots of sites suggest making a paste with regular old salt and some water and applying it to bug bites to relieve sting. While I’ve never tried this technique, I suspect it works: as I kid, I remember that going to beach and swimming in the ocean was always a great relief after a group of bugs had dined upon me.
For what to do when someone has a more serious reaction, check out the Mayo Clinic’s first aid guide to insect bites and stings. And as a preventative measure in the future, avoid bananas and perfume (for the record, “Bananas and Perfume” would be a great band name). Bugs are attracted to your skin when you’ve applied perfumes, hair sprays, and gels. Ditto for when you’ve eaten bananas. So try to hold off on doing either. I know. There go my weekend plans, too.
And just remember, as annoying as they are, mosquitoes clearly have an important purpose on this earth.
I suppose you want to know what all this nonsense is about. You’ve come to the right page...
Everywhereist on flickr
Benadryl also makes an insect bite spray that I SWEAR by. It will make the whole area sticky, but relieves itch more or less instantly.
And I bet the bites aren’t the only souvenir you have. You probably have a picture of you and Rand making out at Macchu Pichu too
[Reply]
Everywhereist Reply:
September 29th, 2011 at 12:02 pm
You know me well. Yes, there are make out photos. How could there not be?
[Reply]
Well, this is going to sound pretty creepy BUT I live in Lima and was walking home from work on Tuesday when I thought I saw you and you husband. I couldn’t figure out where I recognized you from until it was too late to say something!! Craziness. Glad you enjoyed Peru, I am on my way to Machu Picchu next week!
[Reply]
Everywhereist Reply:
September 29th, 2011 at 12:49 pm
That is beyond funny. I probably would have fainted had you actually recognized me, so it’s for the best.
I loved Peru – can’t wait to go back!
[Reply]
Good God, if anything can ruin a good trip, it’s pesky insects. Scott and I spent three weeks in Guatemala and Honduras a couple years back, and a combination of noceums and sand flies pretty much spoiled our entire trip!
[Reply]
They make topical aspirin cream, Aspercreme. Good stuff.
[Reply]
I use After Bite. It is literally the only thing that works for mosquito bites for me. Cortisone 10 and Calamine lotion do not work on bug bites for me, as well as chicken pox.
[Reply]
Kebby Reply:
September 26th, 2012 at 4:54 pm
You should know that the main ingredient in “After Bite” is Ammonia. Reminds me of the “My Big Fat Greek Wedding” movie where the dad used Windex for every malady.
[Reply]
ohhh my goddd i thought i was the only one that reacted like that to mosquitos! my husband thinks there is something seriously wrong with me, like medically (not just in my head). and they find me wherever i am. i could be in freaking alaska, and a goddamn mosquito will find me and bite me, even if i am layered in a goose down parka and there is a meaty animal next to me.
that kind of sounded wrong.
[Reply]
Everywhereist Reply:
September 29th, 2011 at 3:33 pm
You mean hilarious. “That kind of sounded hilarious.” Tee hee. Meaty animals.
[Reply]
This may sound crazy but my mosquito bite relief comes from immediately applying spit to the area. I know, I know, gross…but has always worked for me.
[Reply]
Everywhereist Reply:
September 29th, 2011 at 3:33 pm
Oh, please – have you read my blog? That is so not gross compared to some of the stuff I’ve written about. Really.
[Reply]
Aveeno Anti-itch saved my sanity after an ill-fated outing of twilight golf resulted in 67 mosquito bites (you bet I counted them!)
[Reply]
Also drenching the area in white vinegar helps relieve the itch (ok so you dont actually have to drench the site, you can just rub some on)
[Reply]
Wait… Are you telling us NOT to drink margaritas? (unsubscribes)
[Reply]
Everywhereist Reply:
September 30th, 2011 at 9:37 am
I’m just stating that margaritas will not cure bug bites. But the salt on the rim might.
[Reply]
Just started reading your blog not too long ago and I love it! I especially loved this post and felt the urge to comment. I, too, am a victim of the infamous mosquito and quarter sized welts from their bites. I just moved and am now living in Charleston, SC where there is a mosquito infestation. So, thanks for the tips. Folks, at work, were starting to wonder why I scratch my legs so often!
By the way, hope you had fun in Peru. I went there in 2007 and there is just something magical about Machu Picchu. Peru was, by far, one of my favorite trips. Can’t wait to read your posts about it.
[Reply]
I just put a big X on the bite with my fingernail and it stops itching for good. Best home remedy ever!
[Reply]
Oh man, has no one mentioned Ammonia? Best itch relief ever!! I spent a summer in Guatemala and bought a bottle at a hardware store (the only place I could find it) when my Itch Stick ran out. Saved my life. Seriously. Those bugs were awful!
[Reply]
Kebby Reply:
September 26th, 2012 at 4:55 pm
That’s whats in “After Bite”, hee hee. +
[Reply]
Where were you with this advice last month when my feet and ankles were covered in mosquito bites in Las Vegas? I definitely would have tried toothpaste or ice had I known. The irony is that when I did finally get my hands on some Benadryl, I didn’t want to take it, because you shouldn’t drink alcohol and take Benadryl at the same time. I was like, “But..I’m in Vegas. I’m supposed to drink.”
[Reply]
I am apparently the only person who didn’t know about the sand flies at Machu Picchu before my trip, so I didn’t bring bug spray. Luckily for me, I am also extremely allergic to most bug bites, so I got to enjoy reminders of my trip all over my arms (I believe there were 17 bites) for months as they turned from bumps to scabs to scars and finally disappeared. I hope your recovery is easier!
[Reply]
Looks like chiggers. Apply clear nail polish & it will seal off the oxygen. Itching should stop in few hours. May have to treat again in few days when seal breaks.
[Reply]
Everywhereist Reply:
October 4th, 2011 at 9:48 pm
Ah, no, I saw the little mongrels that bit me. Run of the mill mosquitoes. Nothing interesting.
Also, I had never heard of chiggers, so I looked them up. WHAT THE HELL, SUSAN? I’m not sleeping tonight.
[Reply]
I’m telling u I hought I was the only one wth this problem I battle wth my skin everyday of my life if its not a mossie bite its me scratching myself open 2 the point where I bleed,annoys my bf 2da max! I’ve sufferd wth this eversince childhood. 2day I sit wth plenty of dark marks on my body as a whole..alover I meanit,wish mosquitos hated me I thought 2 myself @ 1 point it must be my delicious blood that attracts them! I refer 2 mossies as my wors enemy!!! Because it itches so badly tht It comes to the point where I become unsocialble.I thank u once again for all the useful advice.cindy
[Reply]
Mylanta…..yes, Mylanta! Rub it and the pain, itchy will go away in 2 minutes.
[Reply]