Hollaback, ladies.

Posted on
Nov 17, 2009

Cat-calling, I’ve found, is somewhat universal. At least, from my experiences it is (whether or not the Amhara of Djibouti experience this phenomenon is unknown to me). It varies a bit across countries, like sit-coms: the Italian ones are cheesy, the Americans are a bit vulgar, the English ones are kinda lame, and the German ones are non-existent.

At home, I kind of don’t have a problem with it. Or, rather, if I have a problem with cat-calling, I know how to deal. Once, while walking through Westlake Center (a mall and courtyard in downtown Seattle), a huge, imposing man (he must have been at least 6’2″ and pushing 300 pounds) leaned in and said, well …

Let’s just say he complimented my reproductive organs.

And I might have freaked out. While I can’t precisely remember what I said (or I can, but don’t want to repeat it), it was something about how he should be fruitful and multiply (with himself), and that I doubted his opinion on female reproductive organs, because he probably hadn’t seen any but his own mother’s.

He was shocked into silence for a good 30 seconds before he started spewing a litany of curses and threats. By then I was a block away, and his words were echoing across the courtyard and garnering him a lot of unwanted attention.

Of course, it was eight in the morning, it was daylight, I was in a populated part of town that I knew well, and a large number of cops and security guards mill around that area because it’s so touristy. So running my mouth off at some jerk-munchie, in this context, is pretty safe. I know what I’m getting into. Ditto for New York (where they seem to expect it).

In Italy, the game changes a bit – I’ve found men will say some pretty raunchy things, and the second you give them a stare, and they realize that you speak Italian, they usually back-peddle, and often apologize (I found the same thing with Spanish-speakers stateside. Once a guy was emphatically trying to convince me he hadn’t said anything wrong, and I told him he knew full well he had – and the whole conversation was in Spanish).

But for some reason, in the U.K, the cat-callers freak me out. It’s probably because it’s just so shocking. Like I’ve said, I usually expect the Brits to be, well, better-behaved than that. I realize it’s just my cultural misconception, but still. Also, I don’t feel as comfortable mouthing off, which is probably a good thing – I generally think that unless you know exactly what you are getting into, you should probably keep quiet.

And take a photo.

I can’t take credit for the idea. Hollaback NYC was launched a few years ago, designed to empower New Yorkers to “holla back” at street harassers. Submitters snap photos of their harassers and post them online. I remember hearing an NPR interview a few years ago with one of the women who started the site. She said she was at a bar watching a friend’s band, and a group of guys came up to her. One started making some really aggressive/harassing comments, and so she pulled out her cell phone and snapped a picture of him. In that second, she described how the power balance shifted, and the guy immediately shut up and walked away.

Since then, Holla Back has spread across the U.S. from Chicago to Charleston, Connecticut to California. And it’s now international – with Holla Back sites for Australia, Toronto, and the U.K.

Which is fantastic, because I have a submission for that last one. Behold:

Hmm ... this photo seems much larger than the images I usually post on my site. Oh, well.

Hmm ... this photo seems much larger than the images I usually post on my site. Oh, well.

This douchebag was standing in the Waterloo subway station, drunk off his gourd, telling his friends in graphic detail what he’d like to do to a woman were he to encounter one.

“Like this little thing, here”, he said as I walked by, leaning way too far in.

Gaaaah! I cannot begin to tell you how infuriating and upsetting that sort of thing is (though I suspect a few of you, especially those who’ve spent a lot of time in big cities, already know) I kept my rage in check for a couple of reasons.

  1. We were in a tube station, and really, you shouldn’t start running your mouth in such a dangerous environment. Tempers flare, and who knows when someone might snap and push you off a platform. I’m only sort of kidding here.
  2. He had a huge group of friends with him, and while they looked kind of mortified that I had heard him, I was still woefully outnumbered.
  3. My husband was with me. If I said anything, I felt like I’d be dragging him into it. And he is clearly a lover, dear friends, and not a fighter.
  4. I had no cultural cues of how to evaluate the guy. Was he sorta drunk, or totally wasted? An asshole? A frat boy? Potentially violent? I honestly couldn’t tell.

Instead, I grabbed my camera. I did so just as the train arrived, and took a quick photo before hopping onto separate car. In those moments, a few of his friends looked alarmed. It was entirely empowering. And kind of nerve-wracking.

Of course, I wouldn’t have done it if I didn’t have a quick escape route, and if I wasn’t in a crowded station full of lots of people. As always, be careful. But if you feel like you’re in a safe place? Snap away, and holla back.

Leave a Comment

  • He looks like a public school boy! We’re not all like that though!

  • I LOVE the idea of posting photos online of these jerks!! But I totally agree with you about safety…. it’s really a shame that we have to be concerned that some guys are not only jerks, but that they’re dangerous jerks as well. Their mothers would be SO ashamed of them, which is generally what I tell them when one gets out of line with me. It usually shuts them up.

  • You’ve got bigger balls than I do, my tactic is usually just ignore the idiots and run away. Thanks for posting that site, awesome. Plus that guy? Maybe if he lost his double-chin and straightened up his eyes a bit he’d have a better chance of getting laid.

  • Once upon a time in Boston, my dear, Tokyo-born-and-raised wife was on the T platform when some dude said, “I’ve always wanted to f*ck a Chinese chick.” Though she chose to ignore him, it still cracks me up that her first thought was “I’m Japanese, asshole.”

  • Geraldine

    Philip – That’s like, reason #34 why Mimi is awesome.

More from The Blog

On Instagram @theeverywhereist

  • 9 foods we ate in Japan that I'm missing now:
1) Sushi! 
2) Kaiseki (a multi-course meal with tons of delicious little plates)
3) Croissants (Japanese bakeries seem to have mastered them) 
4) Okonomiyaki (multi-layered pancakes with noodles and all sorts of stuff)
5) Takoyaki (octopus balls) 
6) Ramen (so many styles, all so good) 
7) Yakiniku (grill your own meats!)
8) Tempura (so light and crispy) 
9) Onigiri (Geraldine was crazy for these - the best ones came from 7-11 of all places) 
#foodsofjapan #randtookthis #latergram #tastebudsforeverspoiled
  • Geraldine bought this frickin' adorable tea cup in Tokyo and I'm kinda jealous (even though everyone knows cups that hold hot liquids need handles!). #studioghibli #totorotea #randtookthis
  • Sayonara Japan. We loved you so much, we're already planning ways to come back. Thanks to @nicelleh & @wescarr for insisting we go, and for being our tour guides. #randtookthis #randaldineselfie #selfiesonaplane
  • It's not often you get to meet up with friends at Tokyo Station on the way to Narita, but we lucked out. Thanks @benhuh @emilyphuh for the great lunch and amazing company. #randtookthis #lastdayofvacation #selfiesatthetrain
  • That's no way to describe how stunning the ryokan & onsen is here. Maybe these 7 photos will help. It's definitely modern, but the landscape, the food, the lobby, the architecture, the service... everything is just spot on. And we even get to wear yukatas! #randtookthis #hoshiniya #karuizawa #beautifulhotels
  • Karuizawa has its own creamery, and they make both matcha and black sesame gelato. It's frickin' tasty. Who cares if we have to wear coats to eat it. #icecreamtime #lastdayofvacation #nagaifarm
  • Waiting for the bus. With a friend. 
#randtookthis #totorotime
  • This stone church in Karuizawa was designed by an American architect, Kendrick Kellogg, and serves as a popular wedding facility. Fascinatingly, it has no right angles in the design (though Geraldine spent most of our visit trying to claim that angles on exit signs or edges of photos inside technically violated this rule). #randtookthis #stonebuildings #curvyarchitecture
  • We have been incredibly lucky to stay at many beautiful hotels around the world (mostly thanks to generous conference organizers). But, #hoshiniya in Karuizawa almost certainly belongs in the top 3. Every detail is stunning here. It's almost sad to walk out of the resort! #randtookthis #randaldineselfie
  • My favorite train food yet - an ikura box! We've got 6 hours on the Shinkansen today (Hiroshima➡️Kobe➡️Tokyo➡️Karuizawa) so needed a particularly large portion of train bento and snacks. Luckily, Hiroshima station, despite a smaller selection than most, delivered. 
#randtookthis #trainbento #ikura #snackboxofchampions

All Over The Place

Pre-order my book now and I promise I'll never ask you for anything again.

Pre-Order Now!