Ninja Poltergeists and Forgotten Photos

Posted on
Jan 11, 2013

I’m a bit of an organizational freak.

Some of you, especially those who have spent any amount of time on my blog, may find that hard to believe. I seem to flit from one location to the next, and the narrative of my travels soon becomes convoluted. I dart around like a homing pigeon with an ear infection. And also amnesia.

I’ve actually had people email me asking where the heck I was, because the posts on the blog had bounced around too many times for them to make sense of it.

Can you believe that? People asking me where I am! I mean, how the heck would I know?

Why don’t they ask me something equally ridiculous, like how many days are in a year, or how many calories were in that entire box of cookies I had for lunch. SERIOUSLY, PEOPLE, I AM NOT A MIND-READER. I can’t figure out this stuff.

But in my own home, I tend to have a grasp on things. Everything has its place, and I generally know where that place is. This order occasionally even extends to my travels. I know what’s in my suitcase (you hear me, TSA? And also, in case you guys are listening, my bags never left my possession at any time since I packed them. BOO-YA.). I can find things easily in my carry-on, except when I have to produce my ID, at which point I find my wallet has magically sublimated.

And I know where all my pictures are located on my laptop. They are neatly sorted by trip, so I can quickly find what I’m looking for.

Or, at least, they were.

Through mechanisms that I don’t really understand (I’m going to blame either poltergeists, ninjas, or poltergeist ninjas, there mere thought of which has assured that I will not be getting any sleep tonight), all of my photos have been lumped into three or four folders.

A Vegas trip flows into one in Portland. London magically turns into Seattle. Munich … well, let’s just say that Munich gets around. The little minx.

It’s not a huge deal, and it’s one that I can easily fix (but seriously, I don’t get how this happened. Did I black out and decide to redo the file structure on my laptop, and then give up halfway through? Because, to be honest, that sounds probable.) But I was kind of fed up about the whole matter, until I discovered some photos that I had entirely forgotten about.

Girly sigh.

They were taken last September, at the Puyallup Fair here in Washington. And they are magical. MAGICAL.

Behold:

That is a photo of a tiny horse, and parts of it are inexplicably dyed pink. I know what you are thinking: that is pretty much the greatest thing you have ever seen in the history of things, right? And it probably is, but only because you haven’t seen this yet:

Yup. That’s Rand, petting a MOTHER F#CKING CAMEL. AND OMG WAIT IT GETS BETTER …

Wook at their widdle EVERYTHING.

There were baby piggies. BABY. PIGGIES. They’re so itty bitty and delicious, it makes my heart break.

And …

It won first prize in AWESOMENESS.

A knitted ear of corn. Which has tons of purposes. Like … well … you could use it to feed knitted chickens. Or, if someone had a debilitating phobia of corn, we could slowly acclimate them to actual corn by using the knitted facsimile. Yeah.

Let’s move on … to cow butts.

Don’t tell me I don’t deliver.

And here’s a rather lovely photo of my husband doing pull-ups with the assistance of some enlisted men.

You are welcome, ladies. And also gentlemen.

This one of him also brings me joy.

I think he was just marveling at life. Or something.

Here I am making friends with a Boston Terrier:

 

… And next to a giant pumpkin. Because sitting next to veggies is almost as good as eating them*!

Honestly, after uncovering these, I don’t know how I can stay mad at those poltergeist ninjas. If they can help me find where I put the extra links to my watchband, I may even reconsider that exorcism. Heck, I might even be able to sleep peacefully tonight!

SWEET HEAVENLY FATHER, NO.

Eh, scratch that. But at least I found my photos.

(*No, it isn’t.)

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