Words of wisdom for traveling with children …

Posted on
Jan 8, 2010

I don’t have kids. I won’t insult anyone who does have children by pretending I understand what it’s like to have a child. I can only assume that it’s unbearable. Not that it isn’t wonderful and amazing and all, but just that loving someone so entirely and completely must be kind of exhausting and all-consuming and kind of difficult to stand.

I say this because I spent about a week with my cousin’s kids, and I swear, my heart couldn’t take much more than that. When you kneel down next to someone and ask them what they want for Christmas, what would make them happier than anything else, and they reply in a raspy little voice, “a choo-choo train” … Christ. I just can’t take it. It feels like my heart will implode.

We totally bought him a choo-choo. Id have gotten him a real damn train if he had asked.

We totally bought him a choo-choo. I'd have gotten him a real damn train if he had asked.

I don’t understand how people have children.

But more than that, I don’t understand how people travel with children. My cousin seems to do it fairly regularly. With three of them in tow. Of course, he seems to have a system:

That system being pile them on a stroller like its a train heading for Mumbai.

That system being "pile them on a stroller like it's a train heading for Mumbai."

But when he and his wife and kids arrived in California, they found that one of their bags was missing – the one containing all of the kids’ clothing. His wife later noted that, since with kids you will generally always have to check a bag, she should have mixed up the clothes a bit. Added some of the kids clothing to her suitcase and vice-versa, so that if one bag was lost, they wouldn’t entirely be up sh!t creek.

And frankly, I thought that was a brilliant idea. Maybe other people with children have already realized this (and also found some way to make sure their hearts stay intact throughout their offsprings’ childhoods), but to me it was an absolute revelation. So keep that in mind if you end up traveling somewhere.

As for my cousin’s kids, I am pleased to say that their clothing arrived the next day, hand-delivered to the door by the airline. Which was just in time, because at least one of kids had been wiping his nose on his shirt (so … maybe not everything about having kids is unbearable. But I’m pretty sure what isn’t unbearable is snot-covered).

Leave a Comment

More from The Blog

On Instagram @theeverywhereist

  • I didn't do nearly all that I set out to do today. But I had a lovely dinner thanks to this man and some excellent out of town guests. So perhaps the measure of a day isn't always about that damn checklist. (Maybe. Ask me again tomorrow when all the stress hits me. 🤔😅)
  • You can't expect things to look *exactly* like the picture in the cookbook. But sometimes they do anyway. #alisonroman #diningincookbook #diningin #cocoabananabread #instadesserts #baking
  • Here it is, folks. The paperback edition of my book is out today. The hardcover came out more than two years ago, so it's wonderful to know that this story of mine still has life and is, gasp, still selling copies. Don't miss the book that Lauren Graham called "the travel companion you'll be happy you brought along" and that some guy on Twitter said was "immature and stupid." It's available at Amazon, Barnes and Noble, and Indiebound. #bookstagram #summerreading #bookworms
  • This lady. ❤️❤️❤️ So proud of her.
  • HAPPY LAUNCH DAY!! I really want to curl up in bed with this amazing novel today, but I can't - for an amazing reason. Because I'm going to be at the Lake Forest Park location of Third Place Books tonight, discussing it with the author, my dear friend @andreadunlop. Lady, I'm so proud of you. ❤️ ❤️❤️ #bookstagram #summerreading
  • Baking in an AirBnB is always an adventure. I didn't have a measuring cup for the flour so I eyeballed it, and had to use a wine bottle as a rolling pin to make these handpies. Not my best work, but @demeritt and @randderuiter seemed cool with the results, so I'm going to accept that sometimes good enough is, well, enough. 🥧🍴
  • "I hit the jackpot." That's how I once heard Michael J. Fox describe his marriage years ago, and it stayed with me. I've never found a better way of describing our relationship than that. Bells ring. Lights flash. Coins spill everywhere. Now, where's my complimentary breakfast?
  • Someone sent Rand socks with his face all over them, and he's really bothered by this but I'm gonna rock the hell out of them.
  • I told him to stop looking at the camera.
  • Eating junk food on the ferry with this guy right before dinner is kind of the dream.

All Over The Place

Buy my book and I promise I'll never ask you for anything again.

BE AWESOME. BUY IT.