New Book

If You Can’t Take the Heat

Available March 12, 2024

If You Can't Take the Heat book cover

I wrote a book about emergency meal-planning for the apocalypse, embracing my own hanger, and the death threats I got when I made cinnamon rolls.

Pre-order now!

While you’re waiting…check out my first book:

All Over The Place book cover

All Over The Place

Adventures in Travel, True Love, and Petty Theft

Buy now

The Blog

Hey, Lauren Boebert, I get it: Theater is Super Horny.

Posted on
Sep 20, 2023

Several years ago, I crossed paths with the rusty, hateful jalopy that is Lauren Boebert’s internet presence. The Representative had recently shoved a few firearms onto her bookshelf with the care of someone trying to shove dirty laundry into their suitcase at the end of a trip. I decided to display menstrual products on my…

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Congratulations on Finishing Your Book, You Absolute Loser.

Posted on
Aug 28, 2023
Photo of a depressed looking woman in yoga pants lying face down on the floor
Posted in: Book, Writing

Congratulations! You just finished your book, and while we always knew you could do it, the odds in Vegas suggested that this was extremely unlikely, and some of us are out a lot of money this morning. But never mind! That’s irrelevant! Lifelong dreams have been accomplished, so does it really matter who gets thrown…

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You Do Not Need to Make a Pumpkin Pie From Scratch. Ever.

Posted on
Nov 21, 2022
Posted in: Food

I need to tell you something. Something very important. Are you sitting down? It’s not strictly necessary. You can stand if you want. Do you need a pen? I guess you don’t need one of those, either. This isn’t a particularly long message. Are you ready? Okay. You don’t need to make a pumpkin pie…

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