10 absolutely bat-shit crazy things I saw in S.F.

Posted on
Aug 24, 2010
Posted in: Top Ten, WTF

San Francisco is a weird town. Sometimes, I forget this. You visit enough times, and you begin to lose site of just how bizarre a place is. And my frame of reference is pretty good: I travel enough to where the occasional jacked-up hobo in old-timey pajamas doesn’t phase me. But San Francisco is in another category all its own. Stranger than Seattle. More bizarre than Boston. And possibly more neurotic than New York (if such a thing is possible). Take a look at ten of the crazier things I saw last week …

1. Well, there’s goes the marketing budget for the year. What the hell is this ad for? I have no idea. But it’s awful. I mean, you want to be smart right? And balls-less? Or stupid and virile? I just DON’T UNDERSTAND.

Stupid is also the one approving the marketing campaign.

Stupid is also the one approving the marketing campaign.

2. HOLY CRAP – THAT’S WHERE HE IS. Saw this from the SF MoMA. It’s on the rooftop of a building adjacent to the museum. Promptly freaked the hell out.

I mean, does the Pentagon know?

I mean, does the Pentagon know?

3. It’s MUSTACHE MARSHALL! I am convinced one of the writers for HIMYM saw this ad and it inspired the “Doppelgangers” storyline.

4. Dude wearing a fig leaf … and not much else. Funny thing is, this really wasn’t a big deal for anyone. Not the guy in question, not us, not anyone. I questioned whether or not I should take a photo, because, really, a little middle-aged-man-thigh isn’t a big deal in the Castro.

Last time, we saw a dude in pigtails and a Speedo dancing ferverently in this spot.

Last time, we saw a dude in pigtails and a Speedo dancing fervently in this spot.

5. Toilet instructions. When I first saw this sign (in the bathrooms near Golden Gate bridge) my initial thought was: “Um, really? We need instructions for this?” Part of it is smudged (DEAR GOD BY WHAT?) but it should read: “Please use a piece of toilet paper before flushing.”

It was at the bathrooms of the Golden Gate Bridge ... perhaps they had a problem with people not using paper?

I mean, clearly it had been a problem, right?

6. Tiny Invasion. Okay, fine – so this little robot I saw on the street (made from the same materials used to mark lines on the road) isn’t that weird or strange. Unless you consider that I’ve seen these all over the roads in Seattle, too. A sign of the impeding 2-dimensional robot invasion? I think yes.

I suppose it could have been a 3-dimensional robot invasion, but they just kept getting run over.

I suppose it could have been a 3-dimensional robot invasion, but they just kept getting run over.

7. Smoking Horse painting. I could elaborate more, but why bother? Its awesomeness defies explanation, anyway.

A horse is a horse of course, of cour- COUGH COUGH HACK.

"A horse is a horse of course, of cour- COUGH COUGH HACK."

8. Bratz Baby Doll. Remember those Bratz dolls? The ones that kind of look like strippers who’ve had a bit too much surgery? Seriously, they make Barbie look Amish. Anyway, there’s apparently Bratz Babies, which, as far as I can tell, are infant stripper dolls. Huge amounts of make up, bikinis, and come-hither looks. Perfect for any 18-month old.

This is just so wrong.

This is just so wrong.

9. Neon Buddha sign. Why not? Sometimes deities need to get their drink on, too.

I heard they opened to the compete with the Jesus Juice Bar down the street.

I heard they opened to the compete with the "Jesus Juice Bar" down the street.

10. City-sanctioned art in the BART terminal. I love this more than I can possibly say. And really, it wrapped up the sentiment of this trip to San Francisco: that the unusual and the bizarre mix are commonplace, they nearly become mundane. Like taking a ride on public transit, and seeing an old-timey diver attacked by a giant squid.

You ... got something on your back, there, buddy.

You ... got something on your back, there, buddy.

Leave a Comment

  • I had to find the source to your “smart has the balls and stupid has the brains” ad. Diesel is encouraging people to be stupid. http://bit.ly/c1qcol.

  • I heard Waldo may be switching to Bing!

    And the neon Buddha sign, how enlightening!


  • Amado

    AMAZING list. Just wanted to comment on number 6 – Tiny Invasion. Stikman is super great at what he does and has been in Chicago (where I’m from) as well. some more of his work – http://tiny.cc/n87gx – ENJOY!

  • Sam

    just so you know, the “be stupid” ad campaign you posted is for diesel jeans, and it’s nationwide. although i thought theyd at least put their company name in the ad hahahaha.

  • I can assure you, we know where Waldo is at all times.

  • Brilliant pics – what an unusual place for Wally (Waldo stateside I believe?) to show up as there are no people wearing red and white striped scarves nearby!

  • I love the mustache Marshall picture and agree it had to be the inspiration for that episode. Great find.

  • Pingback: The Everywhereist » Blog Archive » A Thursday update()

  • ben

    #1 is a marketing campaign for diesel

  • Pingback: The Everywhereist » Blog Archive » The week in travel: September 3, 2010()

More from The Blog

On Instagram @theeverywhereist

  • The final, finished copy of my book arrived at our house today. Rand is very excited about it. (Everyone else has to wait until May 2nd, but you can pre-order it now. Link in bio.) #AllOverThePlace #AOTPbook #everywhereist #happydance
  • 9 foods we ate in Japan that I'm missing now:
1) Sushi! 
2) Kaiseki (a multi-course meal with tons of delicious little plates)
3) Croissants (Japanese bakeries seem to have mastered them) 
4) Okonomiyaki (multi-layered pancakes with noodles and all sorts of stuff)
5) Takoyaki (octopus balls) 
6) Ramen (so many styles, all so good) 
7) Yakiniku (grill your own meats!)
8) Tempura (so light and crispy) 
9) Onigiri (Geraldine was crazy for these - the best ones came from 7-11 of all places) 
#foodsofjapan #randtookthis #latergram #tastebudsforeverspoiled
  • Geraldine bought this frickin' adorable tea cup in Tokyo and I'm kinda jealous (even though everyone knows cups that hold hot liquids need handles!). #studioghibli #totorotea #randtookthis
  • Sayonara Japan. We loved you so much, we're already planning ways to come back. Thanks to @nicelleh & @wescarr for insisting we go, and for being our tour guides. #randtookthis #randaldineselfie #selfiesonaplane
  • It's not often you get to meet up with friends at Tokyo Station on the way to Narita, but we lucked out. Thanks @benhuh @emilyphuh for the great lunch and amazing company. #randtookthis #lastdayofvacation #selfiesatthetrain
  • That's no way to describe how stunning the ryokan & onsen is here. Maybe these 7 photos will help. It's definitely modern, but the landscape, the food, the lobby, the architecture, the service... everything is just spot on. And we even get to wear yukatas! #randtookthis #hoshiniya #karuizawa #beautifulhotels
  • Karuizawa has its own creamery, and they make both matcha and black sesame gelato. It's frickin' tasty. Who cares if we have to wear coats to eat it. #icecreamtime #lastdayofvacation #nagaifarm
  • Waiting for the bus. With a friend. 
#randtookthis #totorotime
  • This stone church in Karuizawa was designed by an American architect, Kendrick Kellogg, and serves as a popular wedding facility. Fascinatingly, it has no right angles in the design (though Geraldine spent most of our visit trying to claim that angles on exit signs or edges of photos inside technically violated this rule). #randtookthis #stonebuildings #curvyarchitecture
  • We have been incredibly lucky to stay at many beautiful hotels around the world (mostly thanks to generous conference organizers). But, #hoshiniya in Karuizawa almost certainly belongs in the top 3. Every detail is stunning here. It's almost sad to walk out of the resort! #randtookthis #randaldineselfie

All Over The Place

Pre-order my book now and I promise I'll never ask you for anything again.

Pre-Order Now!