The Everywhereist

The Scene:

San Francisco, on a chilly night.

The Characters:

Geraldine, who is totally awesome.

Rand, who is usually awesome but last night left his dirty laundry in a pile on the bedroom floor, which is so not cool.

Act I:

Geraldine and Rand are walking down a street in San Francisco. It is windy, and they are clutching their coats. They pass an old building with an elaborate entryway. Suddenly, Geraldine starts screaming.

Geraldine: AUUUUGGGHHHHHH!

(more…)

The new blog design is up. The bugs are being addressed. I’ve eaten more than my fair share of cupcakes in the last few days. And to top it all off, it’s Friday. In short, things are going swimmingly.

I might eat one more cupcake in celebration of this. You enjoy these links.

—————

I was recently profiled in the Russian magazine F5. I can’t read Cyrillic, but I’ve gotten some delightful gems from translating the page in Google. “Blog: My way of fighting” might just become my new motto. (Also, there are some rather amusing inaccuracies in there. I never had braces. I had friends in high school. And I’d outgrown The Babysitters’ Club by then. Mostly.)

—————

Simply fascinating: What a bunch of old Jews can tell you about Living Forever (via the lovely Joanna Haugen of Kaleidoscopic Wandering).

(more…)

Pretty. Boring.

-

How does the old adage go? Photos without people in them are merely postcards? Something like that.

It’s a fair criticism. But I’ve always been of the mind that photos with people in them, standing and smiling at the camera as though they were just recovering from a lobotomy, aren’t much better.

I mean, sure they’re nice. They’re the sort of photos you can give to your grandparents for Chrismukkah, or use as your profile picture on Linked In, or that the tabloid news shows can use to illustrate what a decent human being you were before you snapped. Good, solid, unimpeachable photos. The kind that won’t get you arrested.

(more…)

Every time I travel to Europe, I am consistently amused by the warning signs I encounter (as far as entertainment value, they rank up there with Italian television, which is no small feat. TV shows in Italy make no sense and often include dance interludes with women in tiny dresses. Chauvinism has never been more hilarious).

In the U.S., most of our cautionary signs are simple, and printed in English. They say something to the effect of how walking on the lawn when you aren’t supposed to is unlawful, and will cost you money, and that’s really sufficient to get us to not do something. Money is a great motivator in my homeland.

Spotted in Flemington, NJ.

-

(more…)

We were walking near La Rambla in Barcelona when we saw this sign:

-

For those of you who, like me, speak absolutely no real German (and are nearly fluent in fake German, but have been forbidden to speak it because your husband deems it “offensive and really, really wrong”), allow me to translate. It says: “Nachos. Made in Germany.” And then they wisely add an advertisement for beer. Because you will need to drink a lot of cervesa before German Nachos make sense.

It’s Valentine’s Day, and I’m sure a lot of you are prematurely wincing in anticipation of the sappiness I’m about to post.  Those of you who truly plan ahead might have even placed a trash can at your feet, so that when you projectile vomit from the sheer adorability that is me and my husband, you will have a receptacle at which to aim.

Take it from me – that sort of planning never works.

Fortunately, there’s no need for it, because this post is not about me and Rand. No, seriously. It’s not. Traditionally, Valentine’s Day isn’t even a romantic holiday for us (we prefer going out on February 15th). We usually choose to spend the 14th of February in the company of our wonderful friends, stuffing our faces with pink treats (hide your baby girls: they will get bit). Cupcakes. Cookies. Those conversation hearts that easily double as sidewalk chalk.

(more…)

Just a reminder kids, that vanity will get you nowhere. It’s why Charlize Theron got an Oscar after shaving off her eyebrows.

I am truly excited to have the new site design up (it was created by the lovely and talented Kimberly Coles, who I highly recommend). There are currently a few bugs in the system that we are working through (a result of my dev team integrating WordPress with Kimberly’s design, which is a complicated process. Plus, since my dev team is in eastern Europe, we’ve been working around the time-change, to boot). So for a few days, things might look a little weird. I can assure you I’m acutely aware of the problems, and we’re working to fix it.

And the second things get normal, I will post some new entries.

In the meantime, here’s another cute bunny photo to tide you over.

He's so adorable, I no longer care that my analytics aren't reporting right.

Thanks for your patience, folks.