A Conversation With Myself, Regarding Cherries.

Posted on
Jun 12, 2015
8
Posted in: Food, Random Musings

“Sometimes I worry about you. Because you spend a lot of time alone, you know?” – my husband

“I’m kinda hungry.”

“CHERRIES.”

“Huh, yeah. I could go for some cherries.”

(Several minutes and a pound of cherries later …)

“Ugh. I don’t feel well.”

“EAT MORE CHERRIES.”

“I honestly don’t think that would be a good idea.”

“EAT. CHERRIES.”

“But I already feel kinda sick–”

“CHERRIES.”

(Eats another half pound of cherries. Severe gastrointestinal discomfort ensues.)

“Oh, god. I think … I think I’m legitimately ill. I think it was the cher-”

“DO NOT BLAME CHERRIES.”

“You’re kidding, right? We do this every year.”

“NO.”

“Yes we do. We eat, like, three pounds of cherries in one sitting, and then we wonder why -”

“LA LA LA LA LA LA I CAN’T HEAR YOU-“

“WE WONDER WHY WE FEEL SICK.”

“I feel fine.”

“No, you don’t.”

“Do too.”

“I think I should call Rand and tell him we’re sick.”

“Tell him to buy more cherries.”

—————

Look, you guys, sometimes you just need to eat cherries until you run the risk of pooping in the middle of gym class.

Leave a Comment

  • Jimmie

    I always feel this way about cherries. I never learn. It is a delicious, delicious sickness.

  • Jessica

    You seem to have an abundance of googly eyes. I think you should send me some so I can see how my husband feels about eyebombing. 🙂

  • Suzanna

    You know, President Zachary Taylor supposedly died in 1850 from eating cherries. Modern scientists think his death was actually due to cholera, but I say it was the cherries!

  • Isn’t this what Pocahontas did?

  • I have the increasingly overpowering urge to acquire googly eyes and use them throughout my home and office with reckless abandon. It’s hard to pinpoint where this urge is coming from…

    • Everywhereist

      Hard to know where urges come from. But you should probably give in.

  • debstuff

    I too succumb to the mysterious allure of the almighty cherry… they are the aliens we’ve been warned about, I think.

  • This. Is. Awesome. And hilarious, and that cherry is both adorable and terrifying. Googly eyes will do that to a thing.

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