Okay, first, a few disclaimers: my friend Christine suggested we visit a grocery store called Stew Leonard’s while we were in New York. Christine is all kinds of lovely, and I trust her judgment completely (check out some of her brilliance). Sadly, we didn’t have the sort of visit I (nor Christine, I suspect) would have hoped for. Nevertheless, I’m completely glad we made the trip there: it was fun and surreal. Plus, how could I not go to a place that’s been described as “The Disneyland of Dairy” in The New York Times? And while things didn’t exactly go as planned, I actually like it when it happens during travel. It usually makes for a good story. And let’s be brutally honest: sometimes Dick Moves! make for great stories.

Like Disneyland, Stew Leonard’s even has its own clearly marked exit off the freeway, and has a street named for it.

Yay! I love cow products!

Yay! I love cow products!

-

The front of Stew Leonard’s has a huge silo attached, which, in my over-imaginative brain, I pretended was full of chocolate covered gummi bears. At this point, it was safe to say that I was a little bit freakishly excited to be going grocery shopping. I love food. And dairy (even as I type this, I’m drinking chocolate milk. Because I am 8). (Note: this line previously said I was “a little bit freakishly exited to be going shopping” – an error pointed out by the obnoxiously brilliant motomotoyama. Damn her.)

ZOMG. Gummi bears.

ZOMG. Gummi bears.

-

As we marched in, I snapped a single photo of the inside of the store.

“NO PICTURES!”

Uh, what? I’m always distracted when I’ve got my face pressed into my camera and someone starts yelling. Apparently one of the men who worked at the store was not happy.

“NO PICTURES!” he said again.

“I can’t take a photo of the inside of the store?” I asked.

“NO!”

“Um … how is that good for publicity?”

“NO PICTURES!”

“Seriously?”

“NO PICTURES!”

-

There wasn’t really an explanation of why. I suppose it might have been because the head of the company (Stew Leonard, Sr.) went to prison for tax fraud, and this has somehow made them weirdly paranoid. But the whole thing seemed hypocritical, at best: the moment you enter a Stew Leonard’s, you are recorded on surveillance cameras throughout the premises. It’s incredibly creepy. And a total Dick Move.

But still, rules are rules, right? And when someone tells me I can’t take a photo of a location, even if they haven’t give me a single reason why, well, there’s only one thing left for me to do …

Photograph the hell out of that place. (C’mon. You totally saw that coming, right?) And so I did. In the process, I uncovered a few things that made me again wonder why they didn’t want me taking photos …

Perhaps it was because of their blatant copyright infringement …

There is no way theyre using this with permission.

There is no way they're using this with permission.

-

Or their controversial selling of Communist food, like beets:

Featuring prominently in Russian cuisine, theyre bright red. RED!

Featuring prominently in Russian cuisine, they're bright red. RED!

-

Then there’s this display, featuring a talking, dancing banana. I don’t really know what to do about this. It might be culturally insensitive. Or maybe it’s just scary.

The big banana is basically ensuring banana-cannibalism.

The big banana is basically promoting banana-cannibalism.

-

As are these animatronic singing chickens, located just above freezer full of chicken patties:

Im not going to lie to you: I find this sort of irony DELIGHTFUL.

I'm not going to lie to you: I find this sort of irony DELIGHTFUL.

-

I suppose the singing cows were a little more tasteful, as they were located above the dairy case (as opposed to, say, the beef case):

It would be awesome to reprogram them to sing Usher.

It would be awesome to reprogram them to sing Usher.

-

But the sushi counter was a little messed up. I’ve no problem with sushi. I love the stuff. And the majority of sushi chefs I encounter are Japanese, which doesn’t seem terribly unusual. But at Stew Leonard’s, for reasons that seem kind of off, there sushi counter is the only place with its own soundtrack. It was something akin to this (warning: that video is LOUD). Rand was kind of weirded out by it.

He seemed kind of lonely.

He seemed kind of lonely.

-

Despite that I’m-not-sure-if-it’s-racist-but-it’s-still-kinda-weird display, it really was pretty cool, especially if you’re not a vegetarian. The store is huge, and has earned the distinguishing honor of  having “the greatest sales per unit area of any single food store in the United States.” (If you’ve ever been to a Whole Foods on a Sunday, you understand how amazing that is). And they seem to have a really cool business philosophy, in theory.

What if the customer wants to take a photo? WHAT THEN?

What if the customer wants to take a photo? WHAT THEN?

-

As we drove away, I felt a bit guilty about all the photos I had taken. As you’ve probably noticed, most are blurry or crooked. They were taken from my hip, with me occasionally pressing the button on top of my camera. I was really upset about the whole “not being able to take photos” rule, but now I kind of felt like a heel.

I mean, sure, it’s a weird company policy, but the store did seem really cool. And even if it’s an unreasonable rule, it must be in place for a reason, right? I began to consider this idea, and I was almost willing to accept it, until I started looking around online. I found that a lot of people had taken photos inside of Stew Leonard’s. There are more than 700 images on Flickr alone. And judging by the quality of the pictures, they hadn’t done so surreptitiously.

ZUH? So their “no photo” policy applied to just me? Dick Move, Stew Leonard’s.

I suppose it could have been that the one employee who snapped at me was just off his rocker. I sent Stew Leonard’s a letter about the whole thing, but I still haven’t received a reply. I know only that if there is a rule against taking pictures, it must be justified. After all, the store clearly puts a lot of thought into everything they do.

Way to go, guys!

Way to go, guy's!

Well, sort of.

Full list of categories:  Attractions » Dick Move » Photos » WTF
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Comments (14)

  1. 1
    randfish says:

    Wow – given that everyone else and their dog seems to have photos of the store (and they were clearly taken without hiding a camera at an awkward angle in a bag, I’d say you have a strong case to make here. I also loved the James Bond-esque “sneak-around-and-photograph-everything” experience. I think we’re ready for some serious spy work.

  2. 2
    Christine says:

    I can’t believe they did that!!!! Insanity. Thank goodness you made the most of it and turned it into a 007 experience. Yes, there are many questionable displays there, but it’s part of the bizarre charm of the place. :)

  3. 3

    I’m unsurprised, but not at all unimpressed, by your undercover journalism work…..I’ve come to expect nothing less from you.

    Cows that sing Usher would totally rock. I hope you put that in your letter to them.

  4. 4
    motomotoyama says:

    You might want to rethink mocking someone’s grammar skillz while saying you are “exited” to go grocery shopping. :)

    • 4.1
      Everywhereist says:

      Dude, motomotoyama, don’t make me eff you up. :)

      I maintain that ypos are distinctly different from being a moron.

  5. 5
    Candice says:

    Oh shit G, I had a similar experience with a bookstore in Halifax! Not only was I not allowed to take pics, but the dude was blatantly rude about it. He said I couldn’t take pics unless I bought something, I shit you not. I need to do a post about this now because I totally forgot about it. Never thought about writing them a letter though, think I’ll do it now.

    Weird place though. Let me know if you get a reply.

  6. 6
    Everywhereist says:

    Candice – dude, the caveat that you have to buy something first is just about the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard. How does that make sense? It’s not like a bathroom. You won’t have people wandering in off the street trying to take photos. I want to slap the stupid out of that man.

    Also, please do blog about it. I would love to read it.

  7. 7
    Peter Cooper says:

    Wow — not only did they misuse the apostrophe, but even without the apostrophe it’s the wrong word. Double the joy!

  8. 8
    Mike Perron says:

    The spiderman image is a photo that you took without permission and it has the word “photo” in it. That’s ironic!

  9. 9

    “The big banana is basically promoting banana-cannibalism.” I love it, never thought of it that way, I just think mmmm banana in a Homer Simpson kind of way.

  10. 10
    Amy says:

    The spiderman image is a photo that you took without permission and it has the word “photo” in it. That’s ironic!

  11. 11
    Angela says:

    I thought this “no photo” rule only existed in Buenos Aires. Each time it happens to me, I want to do what you did… snap away and then post about the fact that they said I couldn’t. But then I’m afraid that I’ll be giving these jerks publicity that they don’t deserve. So, no pictures. Fine. I won’t write about the fact that your store has all the cool items that expats living here would love to buy. Take that, losers!

  12. 12
    Daniel says:

    I visited this place as a child. It was a wonderland then and it is nothing less than that now.

    Whole Foods has diminished the uniqueness and eccentricity of this place; yes i do agree on that, however, you fail to see the marvels a young child or a city dweller would find here.

    I still visit this store time to time and while it may not offer the same marvels as I experienced as a youth, i maintain my stand that this place has brought to me joyous memories.

    From free samples, hospitality of workers, cleanliness and an experience hard to imitate in New York City.

    I’m not saying it doesn’t have it’s faults but, I stand vigilant on my stand. This store was a place where I once played hide and seek with cousins, a place where I tried sushi for the first time, a place where I stacked on numerous things at the buffet only to get a stomach ache I’ll never forget.

    This may have been posted well over 2 years ago but, if anyone read this with an ounce of intelligence; they would see a typical obnoxious American consumer not satisfied with one thing and hence, an entire trip is ruined.

    I am not affiliated with Stew Leonard’s in any conceivable way. But I am a customer who has seen it’s ups and downs. From its toss ups to it’s fall downs and I will always stand by something I have once given a great review to. Unless of course, you can provide me with an honest to god reason why I shouldn’t.

Trackbacks/Pingbacks

  1. How to Piss Off Customers and Guarantee a Crappy Review on Someone’s Blog - 16. Jan, 2011

    […] Geraldine had a similar experience, but she actually confronted the store about it by writing an email. The thought never even occurred to me that I should write a letter, honestly, and I feel like now it’s too late. No customer should be treated that way. […]

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