Dick Move. You know who you are.

Posted on
Jan 28, 2010

I’m am licking some wounds.

Not literally, of course. Though I sometimes bite the sides of my fingers.

But my feelings have been hurt. I’ve been slighted by a few people in the “travel blogging industry.” I suppose it’s not a big deal, and I suppose it shouldn’t matter. Perhaps the funniest thing of all is that I didn’t really reach out to them. I was just kind of minding my own business and our paths crossed, and they made it clear: “You sit over there, little girl, while the big kids play over here.”

One woman was introduced to me by a mutual friend. The friend thought we’d have much to talk about, but her friend in turn said, in so many words: I am too busy to bother meeting with novices.

Another blogger got snippy with me. She made one of those dismissive comments that I usually get about my age – but now that I’m getting older, it was about something else – something so ridiculously personal, I don’t know what possessed her to write it. And it hurt me so profoundly that I’m still trying to figure out what to do about it. Besides unfollow her on Twitter, which I did immediately.

I’m trying to take it all in stride, because there are some brilliant, wonderful people out there. Like Trisha, over at Travel-Writers-Exchange.com. At first, I figured her comments and helpful tips were just a by-product of her being a brilliant networker. I mean, why would someone I didn’t know bother commenting on my blog? But she kept doing it, kept tweeting helpful blogging tips to me, kept being all around awesome to people who are trying to become fledgling writers. And it hit me that she wasn’t just networking or marketing –Β  she actually cares. (On a side note, if you are trying to break into travel blogging, I strongly suggest you follow Trisha on Twitter, at the very least).

Or Candice, whose blog and writing style are so near and dear to my heart that I actually get verklempt reading her About page. Because as she screams “Fuck professionalism” and vows to be herself and writes about “throwing up a little” in her mouth, I think to myself, “I need to get to hang out with this girl, because we’d become friends immediately.”

Or Naomi, who did become my friend immediately (or, at least, so I like to think) when I met her at a party at Rachel’s on New Year’s Eve. Naomi – if you are reading this, we should hang out, like, immediately. I will make orange chocolate cake and we can talk about the musical stylings of Eddie Murphy. Think about it.

Or Mike, whose comments (and site) consistently crack me up.

Seriously – when I get off my butt and update my blogroll, I won’t forget you ladies. And Mike.

And then there’s the countless other people who read my blog and support me: all my friends and loved ones, who keep coming back here and supporting me and leaving comments. There are actually too many of you to list. But I read your blogs and love when you link to me and find myself cheering you on as you build your daughter a grown-up bed or, hell, cook a piece of fish.

You are all awesome. And I need to keep in mind that the perpetrators of Dick Moves! can be counted on one hand, while the good people in my life are numerous and plentiful.

But I’m not just idly rambling. There’s a moral here, too: that you shouldn’t dismiss anyone. Whether it’s an over-eager fledgling blogger, or the person standing in front of you in line at security. Be polite and courteous to them, whoever them are. Not just because it’s the right and decent thing to do, but because if you don’t, it might come back and bite you in the ass. I once chatted with the girl who was checking us in to our flight, and later found that she was actually flying that day – and sitting one row in front of us. Had I been rude or dismissive, I’d have been horrified to have been in such close quarters with her. And I can’t tell you the number of times I’ve seen people brush off my husband, only to come back a few moments later, mortified that the kid with the torn jeans and the beard they just snubbed is actually someone worth knowing.

My hubbys so important, he gets to wear one of those cool microphone headset things.

My hubby's so important, he gets to wear one of those cool microphone headset things.

But the point is, we’re all worth knowing.

So that’s something I’m going to keep in mind. Not just when traveling, but always. And if the slim chance occurs that someday some fledgling blogger sends me an email, asking for tips? First, I’ll question their sanity (“Seriously? You want to talk to me?), but after the initial shock wears off, I sure as hell won’t dismiss them.

Because whoever they are, they’re worth knowing, too.

Leave a Comment

  • Aw, I just love how you and Naomi love each other. Warms my heart.

    (Ignore the haters. You are gold, honey.)

  • Oblique shout-outs are my favorite kind. Thanks.

    I love your blog because even when you aren’t writing about travel (which is often) it’s still one of the most entertaining parts of my day. You am good writer. Fuck the rest of those fuckers.

  • Geraldine

    Damn it- Philip, that was supposed to be a link to your blog, and one to Will’s blog. Fixing now. Shout-out was actually far less oblique than that.

  • Cool. I’ll take that, too.

  • This is the only travel blog I need to read. If I wanted a tangent-less journey, I’d read those other industry blogs. I wonder if the ghost of Tom Robbins is sitting behind you while you write with a bottle of gin suggesting you “go left here” or “mention that” or “talk about that weird dude”. I know Robbins isn’t dead and ghosts don’t drink gin but I hope you get what I mean. Cheers.

  • Ditto what Rachel said about the haters. And about us loving each other too, actually. But seriously, my latest post is a similar rant, so ya know, it happens.

    We’ll definitely be seeing each other in San Diego and NOLA, if not before, so we’ll have to have a few glasses of wine and make the kinds of comments that if we wrote them on the interwebs they’d bite us in the ass two years later when we want “real jobs”

  • Ditto what Philip said, even the F-words. Your blog is one I really enjoy reading…you’re right, I don’t do it because I’m trying to network, I do it because your posts always make me laugh. No matter how crazy my day gets, it’s worth a few minutes to read what you have to say, because you have such a great way of saying it. No matter what the topic is, I love that you have the guts to say what other people just think.

    Thank you for such a sweet shout-out……oh and I’m a fan of Candice’s too…..I think she’d be a blast to hang with also…..hoping you’ll both be at TBEX!

  • I say screw the stupid people Geraldine. It’s a lot easier to be mean online then in the playground where we could just pull each other’s hair and kick them in the shins.

    I agree about Trisha … there couldn’t be a more genuine person making her way around the blogosphere.

    And yes, @Trisha, I know that Candice at least will be at TBEX. She’s looking for someone to bunk with in fact, and we’re going to spend a few days exploring NYC after the conference. Having never been to the Big Apple, we’re planning on doing on the dorky tourist stuff, like visiting the Statue of Liberty and maybe even buying an I *heart* NYC shirt. We can’t wait!

  • I’m a part of the travel blogging community (even got nominated for a South by Southwest Bloggie second year running) and I would NEVER slight you. But I concur: There are a bitchy few in this realm who, more than anything, are threatened by the niche expanding to which I say fuck ’em, because the nice ‘uns far outnumber the meanies!

  • I relate to this post. Often I’ve felt this way before and now I feel I have a way to express “Whatever” in our blog, though we haven’t been blogging very long. I really appreciate the people who actually come by to read what I have to say and leave comments. I find that some big time A list bloggers are too busy to interact and it is a big turn off for me. If they don’t make the time for me, why should I?

    Really enjoy your writing and posts as I do Candice’s and Trisha’s!

  • Awwww, this warms my heart! Thank you! You know, when I set up my blog I sent my designer your website address because I love how clean everything is, including your writing. You’re one of the handful of people on my reader I actually get pumped about reading.

    And ok, wtf is up with those comments? I haven’t been openly insulted but I often feel “snubbed” for being a travel noob. Well guess what bitches, it’s time for the baby boomers to move over and let us in! Haaah!

    I’m totally kidding. But seriously, we’re up next. And we’re gonna take over.

  • I juts realized how awful “handful of people” sounded. I didn’t mean it like that. I just enjoy your writing, k?

  • Geraldine

    Thanks so much, folks – you are all super. And I want to clarify that not all A-list bloggers are lame. After all, upwards of 5 people A DAY read my site, and I’m awesome. πŸ™‚ Oh, and Rand’s pretty cool, too, I guess. The point is, just be kind to your fellow bloggers, folks. πŸ™‚

  • Marcy Gordon

    I learned about your blog through Trish @travelwriting and find it entertaining. Your post makes sense…”You shouldn’t dismiss anyone….”We are all worth knowing” You encourage people to be generous of spirit. Yet you have over 650+ followers and only follow 45 in return. Are the other 600+ not worth knowing? Are they being dismissed?

    • Geraldine

      Marcy – I’m glad you enjoy the blog! I think you bring up a really interesting point about Twitter.

      In short, I kind of treat Twitter differently (I suppose I got it from my husband – http://twitter.com/randfish) – and just because I don’t follow people doesn’t mean I don’t care about them. Occasionally someone will give me crap for not following them on Twitter (usually someone to whom I’m very, very close – as in members of my wedding party and – eep! – my brother-in-law) and I’ll quickly explain, “But I still READ your twitter feed!” I just don’t like things getting lost in a feed with the tweets of 800 people in it. Because at that point, I know I wouldn’t actually be reading or keeping up with people’s lives – it would be impossible. I just go back and search for things that I want to read, later on, from everyone’s feeds.

      For more on this subject, you might want to check out this: http://www.oilman.ca/communities/why-rand-fishkin-doesnt-follow-you/ (it was written about my husband, by my friend Todd. It’s an interesting read about how me all treat Twitter differently).

  • Geraldine

    @Camels & Chocolate – I am sure you wouldn’t slight. And I like your mantra – sounds like one of mine. πŸ™‚

    @GotPassport- I love reading about how much you care about other people – I think it’s something we should all keep in mind. Best of luck with all your service projects!

  • I love your blog! In fact, I also found out about it through Trisha’s Twitter because she tweeted an article I wrote for Matador a little while back. I love crazy tangents that bring me awesome new reads. Your blog about sexism in airport security inspired me to write about my own fears and experience in bringing my daughter’s milk through security and I think that post came off well, so thanks for that. You’re helping more people than you know.

    • Geraldine

      @Deanna – wow! Thanks. That’s absolutely amazing. Going to check out your article now.

  • You’re blog is EXCELLENT. Boo to Dick Movers!

  • Too bad I don’t know how to spell “your” πŸ™‚

  • I’m glad this is the post that allowed me to discover Everywhereist. Looking forward to reading more.

    By the way, your husband reminds me of one of the actors on It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia. πŸ™‚

  • Geraldine

    Adam – awww, thanks! I am fully aware of your ability to spell. As a matter of fact, Marshall was singing your praises just the other day (not about spelling, but still!) πŸ™‚

    And Dave – glad you like the post. And I have heard many, many times before than my husband resembles one of the actors on that show. Fortunately, they aren’t alike in personality πŸ™‚

  • I’m generally nice to everyone. It’s just a good policy to go out of your way and be kind an courteous.

    I save being a dick for people I know really well. πŸ™‚

  • Wow, I am just happening upon your site for the first time (and not sure how that’s possible since we’re in the same circles – I heart Candice’s blog too πŸ™‚ I felt the same way about six months ago when I first joined Twitter and there were a couple of people who just seemed to blatantly snub me since I was a newbie! And it hurt my feelings for a while, then I realized that there are the dozens and dozens of others who just open up and genuinely care (like Trisha) πŸ™‚ Cheers and I look forward to reading your blog!

  • Anyone acting haughty because they have a popular blog or twitter feed where they can indulge their own egos and post whatever they want with no editorial filters deserves an unfollow. At the end of the day, many people are just posting the same generic things, and never tapping into that personal element that makes for interesting reading. You seem to have a good thing going here, and criticism means you’re at least on the radar as far as larger readership goes.

    I’m off to check out some of the folks you linked to.

  • Geraldine

    Wow – thanks for the support, Mark. I definitely agree – there are some serious egos out there (and, fortunately, some pretty fantastic people, too). I think you are right about having critics – at least it means my stuff is getting read. πŸ™‚

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  • I realize this can be seen as creepy β€œtrolling” you past blog posts – but your funny and I have some time to kill so it’s a good fit. A win win really. Then I come across this entry and I have to say – Thank you. I am a fledgling in the travel blog world – and a niche market at that (travel with small dog) and it can be terrifying. Yet I have readers and I have support. It’s good to be reminded that the occasional hater ( thanks D-bag for the You’re the Bitch comment – oh how very clever) should not bring you down. So – thanks. Really. Thank YOU.

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