The Everywhereist

Hour 2 of 5 at the doctor’s office.

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There are things that you can imagine yourself saying.

Things like, “Why thank you, yes, I will take a third helping of dessert.”

or

“We can hang out at our house, but you guys have to not touch the dust piles. I’ve been collecting them for three months, and there’s one specimen that I think is becoming sentient.”

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There are several places where Rand’s culture and mine overlap:

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At that intersection, you will find weird issues about food. And weird issues about mothers. Crippling guilt makes an appearance, too. And weirdly, the mafia can be found there.

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I hope Bill and I become friends.

He looks sort of like a grown-up version of the kid from Up. He has the raspy, mumbling accent of a lifelong west coaster. Where every word lazily drips out of his mouth and spreads itself out on a sunny patch of grass.

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Rand and I just got back home to Seattle, precisely in time to enjoy the longest day of the year – which was not sunny. Instead, it’s cold and rainy and miserable here. So much so that Rand and I have renamed the month “June-uary.”

Happy June-uary, folks. Enjoy these links. I’m going to turn up the heat and possibly grab a blanket.

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Twitter was down for a few hours yesterday, forcing my husband and I to talk to one another. Scary stuff, I know. Fortunately, the folks at MediaBistro compiled a list of 25 things to do next time Twitter goes down.

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I actually can’t believe this isn’t an Onion headline: Wisconsin Housewife Reportedly Attacks Husband for Reading The Onion.

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I have the emotional maturity of an 11-year-old.

A really immature 11-year-old.

Remember how I laughed maniacally at the scene where Jean Claude Van Damme walks around naked in Universal Soldier? Not much has changed since then. I think the human anatomy is hysterical.

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I have never really liked Las Vegas.

That statement may sound like blasphemy to some of you. And it’s almost a surprise to me, too. After all, Vegas is an entire town built around the Seven Deadly Sins – and you guys know how much I love those. I try to incorporate at least four of them into every single day (fact: I have eaten 3 desserts in the last 12 hours). But despite this, Vegas never managed to strike a chord with me.

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The trips, after a while, blur together.

That’s awful to say, but it’s true. The first time you visit a city is like the first time you kiss the love of your life. You remember every single detail: the shirt you wore, the walk home from the restaurant, the smell of winter in the air. It’s so clear that if you were to recreate it again from only your memory, you could do a fairly good job (but maybe you’d remember your skin as being clearer than it was and your hair bouncier, and who’s to say it wasn’t?).

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Rand and I have spent the last few days jumping around the coast – from Seattle to California to Colorado – and in the next few days, we’ll do the exact same thing in reverse – Colorado to California to Seattle.

It’s kind of like doing The Electric Slide, but on a very large scale. I think. (I don’t really know how to do The Electric Slide, but that site is AMAZING.)

While we’re off doing that, please enjoy these links.

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An interesting question I never even thought to ask: When did the thumbs-up become the signal for hitchhiking?

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Bizarre, a little creepy, and altogether fascinating: 1800s ghost mother photography.

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