Because sometimes words don’t cut it and you just want to run around, eating rainbow colored cupcakes while crying and calling everyone you know because OMG LOVE.
Last week, I put googly eyes on a bunch of Rand’s stuff around the house, in order to teach him a lesson about … I can’t remember. But I’m sure it was important. Anyway, today he found the last eyebomb. “Someone wants to eat my hair. That’s great. It has googly eyes. I’m so happy.”…
As my recent foray into Paleo eating suggests, I’ve tried (and triumphantly failed) to be healthier. A big component of that failure isn’t just that I like eating things made primarily of butter – it has to do with my woeful attempts at exercise. I regularly take classes that, had I known what I was signing up for, I…
Dear Nestlé Corporation, I am writing to you on behalf of my husband, Rand, even though he has disavowed any knowledge of this letter, and refuses to be held accountable for ‘the shit that I do when I am bored.’ But I am certain that he would agree with everything I am about to say. Rand is…
Because let’s face it: some of us are never, ever going to climb Kilimanjaro. We’re probably not even going to sit through a documentary about Kilimanjaro, because that sounds sort of boring. But you know what? The world needs people like us, too. Probably. Here’s a list of totally attainable goals for the unambitious, the…
Someone once told me that the key to any lasting marriage is honesty, which is maybe true for, like, the Pilgrims, or any other archaic religious group that doesn’t believe in the real secret to marriage: passive aggressiveness. Also spite. Having a shared interest or hobby helps, too. But seriously, that last thing is impossible to…
Recently, I went pseudo Paleo. I say pseudo, because, like most things in my life, I’ve jumped in headfirst without putting any thought or research into it (this is also how I ended up taking a workout class called “Insanity.” Afterwards, I was drooling and delirious. So I guess it delivered). So, despite being totally…
Sometimes, during our travels, I will purchase a fashion magazine at the airport. It’s a terrible idea: they’re expensive and they don’t make me feel good about myself, but for some reason, I keep buying them (note: this also applies to skinny jeans and ten-pack-passes to barre class. Sometimes it’s nice to pretend we’re something we…
My brother is in a new movie, and this time I found out about it on Facebook, rather than having to stalk his IMDB page like a peasant. This is the poster for it: YOU GUYS. It is a giant robot doing the Double Axe Handle wrestling move (yes, I looked it up) on a…
Tales of Food, Feminism, and Fury
by Geraldine DeRuiter
Available Now!
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