I Recreate Amanda Bacon’s Elle...

6th Feb, 2016

Like most of you, I recently read the Elle article about what Amanda Chantal Bacon, a woman who may just be a low-blood-sugar-induced hallucination of Gwyneth Paltrow’s, eats in a…

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Establishing a Peace Accord Between...

25th Jan, 2016

When you are my age, everyone starts caring about your uterus. Not in a fun way, where they send it text messages or memes featuring shirtless Jeff Goldblum circa Jurassic…

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Dante’s 10th Circle of Hell Is...

12th Jan, 2016

I don’t like horror movies. I think it’s because I don’t find violence or death to be that entertaining. I’m not trying to be holier-than-thou – I just really, really…

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How to Be Happy Forever

7th Jan, 2016

I am talking about relationships with a friend in a dark restaurant. Rand has left the table for a moment, ostensibly to use the bathroom, though most likely to try…

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I Tried Every Shelf-Stable Pumpkin...

10th Nov, 2015

As a lifelong pumpkin aficionado, I have a special place in my heart for the baccanalian gourd-fuckfest that is fall. From the end of September until Thanksgiving, I ingest so…

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Halloween 2015: The Princess Bride. Of...

2nd Nov, 2015

There are spans of time in my life that can be characterized by a theme (there was The Beatles Period in the late 90s, The Carey Grant Epoch in the early…

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How My Fitbit Made Me Lose My Mind.

14th Oct, 2015

Last month, some dear friends gave Rand and me Fitbits. If you are unfamiliar with the product, it’s sort of like a pedometer, but more judgmental. It keeps track of…

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An Open Letter to My Lady Bits

6th Oct, 2015

A word of warning to my dear, loyal readers who keep coming back here (presumably because of some sort of court-ordered mandate that I don’t really understand): this entire post…

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The Donald Trump Republican Presidential...

6th Aug, 2015

There is something perversely wonderful about tonight, Jon Stewart’s last night on The Daily Show, coinciding with the Republican Presidential debates, of which Donald Trump is a front-runner. Like, he’s…

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